Not once did I ever envision myself, our kids, or our family, as homeschooling material. It didn’t fit with my upbringing or my childhood experiences. I grew up in both South Austin and a small town in East Texas and went through public school, including a public university. I held many of the negative stereotypical views of homeschooling. It wasn’t until our oldest was involved in Challenge – a peer-led Catholic girls group – that we were exposed to families of all different educational make ups, from public school families such as ourselves, to parochial and homeschooled families.
I’ll share our experience with Challenge another time, but were it not for that group, my outlook on homeschooling would not have been…wait for it…challenged. It’s ok to groan!
I spent time communicating with ladies online about their homeschooling experiences and over time, I admit I softened from “absolutely, no way, no HOW!” to “I think it’s great that you homeschool, but that will never be me!” That was a step up for me, seriously. I figured, if nothing else, I would learn to be accepting of something even if I didn’t agree. So, that’s what I did.
I was taken by surprise when my son – who was in second grade at the time – came home one day after school, asking if I would homeschool him. I don’t recall my exact reaction, but it had to go something along the lines of “Run along little Johnny. It will be a cold day in Texas before that happens!” with the obligatory “don’t ask me that again” pat on his head.
Except, he didn’t stop asking. He continued to ask. A lot. In fact, he asked me so much I started to wonder what the appeal was in continually asking. After a year of asking/pleading/cajoling, I was worn down enough that I finally said I would maybe, possibly consider thinking about it. That seemed to satiate him.
And so began the discernment phase of homeschooling along with the endless questions that raced through my mind. Where would I need to look? What curriculum would I go with? Catholic, secular or a combination of the two? Should I homeschool my son only or all of the school-aged kiddos? What kind of homeschooling mom would I be? Organized or relaxed? Can I write off the expenses for homeschooling? How would I defend our decision to those who didn’t understand? Will I resort to wearing jean jumpers or jammies for the rest of my life? Is wooden apple jewelry optional? Can I channel author Susie Lloyd for some inspiration or maybe some laughs?
I discovered that resources for homeschooling are vast and wide and the Austin area is very homeschooling friendly. I checked out Catholic Homeschool because I knew I would naturally lean towards a Catholic curriculum. Once I was on the website, my eyes glazed over. There was Catholic Heritage Curricula, Kolbe, Mother of Divine Grace, Our Lady of Victory, Seton, Mater Amabilis, Our Lady of the Rosary, Regina Coeli and St. Thomas Aquinas. SHEW! And these were just the boxed sets. When I was informed that I had the freedom {or sheer terror depending on how you looked at it} to mix it all up and buy a few things from this company and a few things from another company and Math could be secular, yada yada yada, my head started spinning. My palms were sweaty and my stomach was getting all twisted. I need air!
Our first true test of whether we would homeschool in spite of life’s curveballs occurred about four months into the school year that I chose to discern. We found out we were expecting. The idea of welcoming a new life and a new sibling for our children was very exciting. The part I wasn’t crazy about was the due date – August. The same month typically associated with the beginning of the school year. I wanted to cry. The thought of having a high schooler and a kindergartener going to public school while I homeschooled one son and entertained the toddler while meeting the needs of a newborn was enough to cause slight anxiety. By slight, I really mean anxiety of epic proportions. But this ended up being a good thing because it forced us to really analyze what was best for the other kiddos and their academic needs. Our oldest would be entering high school, something I had long since had reservations about. Public school in a tiny town in East Texas is not even the same thing as public schools in larger cities. My junior high was the same building my dad attended high school. My theater teacher taught my dad. Her husband was my dad’s driver’s ed teacher. My US history teacher graduated high school with my dad. This would not be our daughter’s experience…in the least. In the end, we decided it would be best to homeschool our oldest three for 9th, 4th and kindergarten.
The decision to homeschool became easier as we sat before the principal, the counselor, a tutor and my son’s teacher to talk about his academic struggles. The pace of the class was too fast for him and the teacher would not be slowing down for students who didn’t “get it.” I anticipated their reaction once we told them we were strongly considering homeschooling. Given his struggles in the traditional classroom to begin with, this made the decision to homeschool easier. In my mind, I felt like I couldn’t do any worse. As it turns out, he had already informed his counselor about his desire to be homeschooled – repeatedly. I braced myself for their response. If there’s one good thing about being a negative nelly, it’s that you are fully prepared to handle the objections when you become a proponent of anything!
I think I may have heard their eyes rolling. Not that I expected anything different. In fact, I laughed and met their concern with a casual “yes, I did not expect to be homeschooling but this is looking like a good fit for our son.” And my response was met with the typical response. THE response. I had been well-prepped by friends who were former educators-turned-homeschool mommas about the “socialization” aspect of his education – or, in their mind, the lack thereof. “Well,” I was told, “just make sure that he has plenty of opportunities for socializing because he is a very social kid.” I had to choke back my response of, “Oh really? Isn’t it his socializing that always gets him into trouble?” Instead, I nodded and chuckled inside. I felt even more confident in our decision to homeschool.
The time I spent talking with various friends about their homeschooling experiences was invaluable. I knew it wasn’t going to be all unicorns and lollipops. I wasn’t doing this because it was “easy.” I wasn’t doing it out of spite for the public school system. In the end, I concluded that I was doing this because it was the best path for our family to help our children gain the strongest foundation and love for the Faith. If we nurtured the Faith first, the academics would follow. Looking back, I can see how homeschooling would eventually be a natural progression for us – too bad I didn’t recognize it at the time or I might not have been so resistant! With the exception of sacramental years, we had taken on the task of faith formation in the home, opting to educate our children ourselves by using one of the most amazing books, Faith and Life.
Now it was time to buy the books. Kindergarten was easy. High school was still up in the air – Regina Coeli, Seton or Mother of Divine Grace. Our son had enough academic concerns that I consulted with his teacher through the remainder of the year, asking for her suggestions in how we could make the most of his homeschooling experience. I took that information and despite my initial thoughts on using Catholic Heritage Curricula {CHC}, I opted for going heavy on Seton with a couple of items from CHC. In the end, we went with Seton across the board for all of the kiddos.
I think some of the best advice I got about the transition from public school {better read, a traditional classroom} to homeschool was to lower my expectations. In other words, allow the kids time to break old habits and establish new ones that were relevant for homeschooling. Also, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself when things didn’t go “according to plan.” Now that we have nearly finished our first year, I can reflect that homeschooling is like much of life. You’ll have good days and bad days.
Even when they were in public school, we were always advocates for our children, recognizing that the Church entrusts parents as the primary educators of the Faith. It is an amazing and awe-filled burden we hold to rear our children with a strong foundation and love for the Faith. Regardless of what education path a family chooses, the children will thrive as long as the parents are the primary instructors and living out their authentic Faith.
