Three days ago I moved into my apartment at Texas A&M. The good-bye to my family was sad, and although I could see how hot some of their eyes were getting, they held it together, which meant that I could hold it together. I love my family dearly and it was painful to see them go. I have learned so much from my family for they have shown me my primary purpose in life: to love the Lord with all of my heart, with all of my soul, and all of my strength; that to love I must give totally of myself, love must bear fruit, love is steadfast, and love never ends. In giving of myself I give them part of my heart and it will always be theirs. Watching them leave was to watch a part of myself leave and it was beautiful and sad at the same time.
Today in Adoration I remembered my cross and, of course, the hole in my heart that we all feel. As I prayed I brought this hole to the Lord, for He is the only one who can fulfill me. As the adoration hour ended Father Jonathan did something so ritualistic and so simple that I was stunned: he genuflected before the altar before Benediction. We are Catholic. We genuflect all the time as a sign of respect and humility. As I pondered as to why the action was so profound, a thought arose from my heart that said, “Ritual is when Eternity meets and fulfills the finite.”
We go to mass every Sunday and do the “same thing” every time. We listen to the scriptures, we hear the homily, we partake in the Blessed Sacrament, and then we go out to serve the Good Lord. Ritual brings us to what is eternal, and calls to love and suffering and to joy. If our hearts are infinitely hole-y, what could possibly fill them but infinite holiness? C.S. Lewis wrote this brilliant quote where he said, “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.” (C.S. Lewis Weight of Glory) Jesus is so infinitely fulfilling and he brings us to our Catholic brothers and sisters through the consumption and worship of the Blessed Sacrament.
While my sadness at missing my family is, well, sad, this is ultimately one of Christ’s great blessings: to rely on Him completely and to give myself totally, faithfully, fruitfully, and forever to Himself. We are called to daily, ritualistically, take up our cross, and walk with the Lord in prayer and in service. For if he has filled our hole-y hearts with His infinite love who are we to not allow His Love to overflow from our holes and into the hearts of others?
May the Good work that God has begun in all of our hearts be brought to fulfillment.
P.S. If you liked my post you should check out my personal blog at http://catholicswag.wordpress.com/
Thanks and Gig’em!
Joshua
Thank you Jesus for our Church. Thank you Lord for being present no matter where we go! Thank you Lord for allowing us to be emptied at times so that You may fill us up. Thank you Joshua, for sharing your faith so openly!
Beautiful words Joshua, I know you will so miss your family as they will miss you. You are starting a new chapter of you life, so excited for you that you will be at St. Mary’s with Fr. Jonathan. I visited him last week and he was so excited to be at St. Mary’s and for those of you from St. William that will be attending A&M. He mentioned it at least 3 times. May God Bless your year(s) at A&M and know you are in my prayers.
Very well written Joshua! You present the truth in a simple and beautiful way.
Thank you God for filling Joshua’s heart to overflowing with blessings as he begins his first semester at A&M, and please continue to fill our hole-y hearts with your infinite love. Amen. 🙂