Have you ever been guilty of being in awe of friends and family members who appear to “have it all together?” Have you felt the pressure to be like them? Do these friends and family members post the most productive, up-before-6 a.m.-and-have-already-done-everything-you-would-hope-to-accomplish-in-one-day Facebook statuses? Do you look to them with drool-filled awe, only to fall flat on your face trying to do what they do? Have you ever stopped and wondered why this is?
Do you like to be peppered with endless questions? {Don’t answer that!}
I know this feeling all too well. I’ve fallen into the same trap. I see “Betsy” has woken up before her kids, spent time praying the Office, went for a five mile run while listening to Matt Maher, showered, dressed to the nines and AND made a piping hot meal for her husband before he left for work. She has her entire day planned out – or so says her Facebook status update. She’ll be back before day’s end, she says, to update all of us about her accomplishments for the day. Oh yay. I can’t wait. Especially since my day, by contrast, consists of dragging my bahookie out of bed, maybe changing out of my pajamas, pulling a brush through my hair, having some cold coffee {my Facebook update reflects that a fruit fly dive bombed my cup, by the way}, dragging the kids to the kitchen table for a simple breakfast of cold cereal and some nearly expired milk, and trying like crazy to get through ONE. STINKIN’. day of homeschooling where I don’t end up in a parent/teacher conference {that would be me in the corner talking to myself for those of you who need a visual}. Ta-da!!
Today I’m going to dispel a myth you’ve likely entertained in the back of your mind as questionably untrue. The illusion of having it all together? Yeah. Just an illusion. Modern day advances have made it easy for us to appear as superhuman as we want.
Therein lies the problem.
From time to time, I’ve received private messages from friends asking me how I do it all. You know. With five kids…and now with one on the way, homeschooling, heavily involved in my parish community, moderating an online Catholic women’s group, creator of Catholic Sistas and, of course, blogging for Austin Catholic New Media!…I must be cut from some hard-to-find cloth that makes it so simple to juggle, while looking great {not that I think I look great, stay with me on this…we’re perpetuating a myth here!} and keeping a tidy house, amiright?
While I am completely flattered that my friends think so highly of my perceived mad skeelz, I am very quick to point out that my updates can {and do} make me appear to be super busy and productive. The reality is that I rarely get everything {anything?} done on my “to-do” list. In fact, some days…especially days where I don’t have to be somewhere? I am probably still in my jammies. {disclaimer: In my house, jammies during the day are acceptable as long as it does not impede work done around the house – the only exception to this rule is when caring for sick kidlets or I am sick myself}.
On paper, I look pretty busy. I look very organized. It looks like things are running fairly seamlessly in my house. I can assure you that none of that is true. Yes, I appreciate the ability to look more “productive” via FB status updates but {I often tell local friends this} as long as you don’t stop by my house unannounced, you can keep your illusion about me. And me about you. {you should especially not stop by around 4 p.m. or thereafter or you’ll find me staring blankly into the fridge wondering what’s for dinner…you’d think I’d have learned by now, huh?}
The flip side to all this is, that while we can appear to look like we are juggling it all, you can also be assured that your friends are operating the same way you do. We’re human. We’ll fail our “to do” list everyday, just like we will fail in our walk with Christ. What matters in the end isn’t what we got crossed off the list, but our resolve to get back up and pick up where we left off the day before.
So before you get discouraged with yourself because it appears that others are moving mountains through their FB updates, remember it’s just that. Appearances.
Yes yes yes!! My friend and I were just talking about this yesterday! And I think it’s such an important discussion as so many women get stuck in the bubble of their own lives and become very overwhelmed by the prospect that everyone else “has it together” and that they are the only ones who struggle. Especially for those who have no children over the age of 5…those are tough years and choosing sanity everyday is the often the only decision they should need to make in those stress inducing moments! I LOVE having a large family and all that it has taught me, but I think it’s so essential that we also be real about the day to day so that moms starting out don’t get run over with the belief that they are the only one struggling to keep their head above water. Beautiful post! Thank you!