Something that seems to be returning to me as I very slowly recover from the grief and trauma (it’s complicated) of these past few years is a sense of self determination. I had not realized it was gone in the first place. What I did know is that for a long time it was… [Read More]
Speaking ill of the dead and why we should
As we walked out of my mom’s funeral, my brother said, “Let’s talk about how Mom used to cheat at scrabble.” We chuckled. “Really,” he said. There’s a tendency to make people perfect after they die. But if we talk about their faults it keeps them human and real to us.” “Well,” I said, “She… [Read More]
“My heart will triumph! And yours will, too.”
This is Our Lady’s birthday week. (September 8, is the Nativity of Mary.) I have been thinking about her a lot, and wondering what I could give her for her birthday. While I have been thinking about her, it seems she has been thinking about me, and giving me gifts for her birthday. One who… [Read More]
Recovering from family suicide: a year later
This month, it has been a year since my brother’s suicide. I am a woman much acquainted with grief. But this has been a different kind of grief than I’ve ever experienced before. The shock and constant sense of horror didn’t start to wear off until recently and much of it is still in place…. [Read More]
A Message in the Desert
When your heart says to God, “you have cut off my life like a weaver severs the last thread, “ when you’re alone in the desert on a cold night with no fire, and you’ve never known such emptiness or alienation and you say in your alarm, “no man can can be trusted!” When your life is… [Read More]
Let yourself be loved: a challenge for Lent
The sunlight obscures him in its intense brightness on the horizon, but I can still see his figure walking ahead as I follow at a distance. I have to run a little just to keep him in sight. I am wondering if he wanted some desert alone time and whether I should let him… [Read More]
When Christmas Brings Out Your Inner Grinch
I went to a major retailer to pick up a couple last minute gifts, when I noticed that a big sign on their front door. It read, “OPEN 24 HOURS UNTIL CHRISTMAS EVE!” Ugh. I hated that sign – to me it represents everything that’s wrong about commercialized holidays. Yes, gift giving can be a… [Read More]
Prayer is Love, Love is Prayer: A reflection on praying with and for the dead
November is the month the praying Church dedicates to remembrance of the dead. As one whose life has been especially marked by death and grief, my prayer with and for the dead is an important part of my spiritual life. However, my devotion tends more toward relationship than specific set prayers for them, though I… [Read More]
Coping with Grief on All Souls Day
One week from today, on November 2, 2015, we, the Church, will celebrate All Souls Day. All Souls Day is a time to remember those who have gone before us, a time to pray for them, and to ask them to pray for us. In doing so, we recognize that we are still connected, that… [Read More]
Soul-surviving in the wake of a family suicide
Four weeks ago the person who has been closest to me all my life, my brother, Mark, (I just called him “Brother” and he called me, “Sister,”) who was like my other self, committed suicide. We were scared and worried about him. But we didn’t think this would happen. Then it happened. He was dead…. [Read More]
When Everything Falls Apart: A Reflection on the Exaltation of the Holy Cross
Sometimes things just fall apart. No matter how much you prepare yourself, how much planning you do, how much you know or how much you try, everything just falls to pieces before you. Then you are left standing in the rubble, mouth agape, and brain spinning with so many thoughts that none of them come… [Read More]
Miscarriage Loss, Revisted
June is a beautiful month. Sure, it’s ridiculously hot, tornadoes and hurricanes abound, and you get so many mosquito bites it looks like you have chicken-pox, but it is still beautiful. People seem more carefree and plan vacations, the sunshine is lovely to behold (from inside an air-conditioned facility), and snow cones! Good stuff. Yet, June… [Read More]
5 Things to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do: A Survival Kit
When you are in a time of intense suffering; grief, dread, or emotional overload, when you are walking around the house just staring at things, when getting through the day seems impossible, and you don’t know what to do with yourself, read this: 1. Do the next right thing. This might be eating a sandwich,… [Read More]
A Bobly Day of Skin Religion
He was feeling more emotional than usual because of a new seizure medication we were trying, and a steroid he had to take for brain swelling. We decided a brisk night walk would do both of us good, so he put on his big poncho, I put on my coat, and we headed out. In… [Read More]
Tips for Handling Grief During Christmas
Grieving during the holidays is like riding a giant, wooden roller coaster that you never even wanted to get in line for in the first place. You go up and down, you get queasy, your body feels banged up and you never know what turn is coming next. (Fellow ACNM blogger, Rita Suva, posted an… [Read More]
Getting Yelled At For Being Pro-Life: How to Deal
You’d think working in the world of therapists – full of feelings, acceptance, warm regard and the fluffiest Kleenex money can buy – that we would be loving and accepting of all people, no matter their beliefs or religious affiliations. But you’d be wrong. In my limited experience in this profession (6 years and counting)… [Read More]
Another Dating Blog: Grief-Riddled Wedding Brain
I don’t even know how to describe the state I’m in right now. I want to cry and/or throw stuff and/or scream and/or burrow beneath my blankets and hide for awhile. I want people around me and/or I want to be alone. I want to plan my wedding and/or I never want to see another… [Read More]
What C.S. Lewis Taught Me About Grief
“Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed Grief seems to me a confusing, unpredictable thing. You cry over someone’s death, then laugh about the memories you shared. You have moments of soaring hope, and longer moments of bone-weary depression. You… [Read More]
