Every Sunday after Mass I take my girls for breakfast while my wife teaches RE. This is a really special time for us as it allows us to share time together that I know we won’t always have. Being present to each and building good father-daughter relationships is one of the most critical things I can do as a father. Being present to each other in today’s day and age can be difficult if we allow ourselves to be overtaken by all the distractions that technology presents us with.
Recently while on a business trip and again at our Sunday breakfast ritual I noticed a disturbing trend. On both occasions I witnessed a family of four all engrossed in their iPad’s or iPhone’s, all while sitting literally two feet from each other. I was fascinated to watch as they all went about their business ignoring not only what was going on around them, but more importantly missing out on this opportunity to be present to one another.
Obviously, I’m the last person who’d tell anyone that technology is bad. At the same time we have to remember that just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. Just because we can take all of our digital devices with us everywhere we go doesn’t mean we should pull them out at every opportunity. Otherwise one day we might look across the table and see only strangers.
I have heard more than one report of seeing similar situations. I sometimes have to fight the urge to pull out my phone when I’m waiting for someone or sitting alone. That makes anyone seem unapproachable. Who knows who you might miss out on meeting?
I do make an effort not to pull out a screen when I’m sitting with actual people, though. It reminds me of the most chilling aspect of WALL-E: those people could have been right next to each other or a million miles away; communication and relationships had totally broken down. That’s much more frightening than a spent planet.
I agree with you Lindsay, it’s just so easy to bust out your phone or idevice to pass the time. I’ve even found myself uncomfortable sitting waiting for coffee or food when I’m out by myself if I’m not checking the updates on my phone or other device.
It kind of reminds me of Fahrenheit 451 When Montag finds his wife constantly watching the interactive tv programs on the three walls of her living room completely oblivious of the world outside.
While alone, I do head to the screen far too often. I tell myself, though, that I’m introvert (who can act extroverted sometimes) and I need some alone time when I can get it. Crutch or legit? Both?
I think it’s one of those situations that use of mobile devices is just something you should try do in moderation…
Maybe “both.” You have a lot more people in your everyday life than I do, but I can’t say I spent a lot more time interacting with real people when I didn’t live alone.
I gave up my iPod Touch for Lent for a similar reason. When my girl says “Daddy, stop checking e-mail!”, it’s a sign I do it too often.
Sad to say I have been that family, but as soon as I recognize it, I fix it. I like to tell my kids that they are slaves to the device, if that doesn’t work, then I take them away :^). Great post.