Although I am not a man, nor am I married to one, I greatly enjoy reading about Catholic men’s spirituality. I’m blessed to have so many examples of strong, outwardly faithful men in my life. Honestly, one of my favorite things is hearing my male friends talk about their personal religious lives as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. It gives me hope that the Church is not yet so happy-clappy that men will steer clear forever.
I also found great joy in knowing so many men who shared the recent apostolic exhortation by Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted of the Diocese of Phoenix, Into the Breach. It is timely, direct, and thoughtful, and I hope it will inspire many more men to take up arms against the sea of trouble raging upon our world, our families, and our hearts.
Bishop Olmsted begins by highlighting three questions that we must consider when examining Catholic men’s spirituality:
- What does it mean to be a Catholic man?
- How does a Catholic man love?
- Why is fatherhood, fully understood, so crucial for every man?
First, the bishop highlights the complementarity of man and woman and the reality that the sexes are not meant to be competitors. Understanding masculinity requires an understanding of femininity, and neither makes sense without the other. We are created in the image of God as man and woman. That’s why I didn’t like Captivating, and I didn’t like Wild at Heart. Both of those books demonstrated a deep lack of complementarity and a lack of appreciation of the “other.” Indeed, throughout Into the Breach, the bishop encourages men to rise up for the sake of the women in their lives as well as for themselves.
Continuing on, Bishop Olmsted describes the battle that today’s Catholic men are facing in a world that does not look kindly upon Catholic men (except Pope Francis, curiously, I would add). He offers a list of great male saints, the virtues for which they are known, and the vices those virtues oppose. You can’t find an easier plan than that.
- Struggling with sloth, laziness, and lack of motivation? Pray to St. Benedict to help you grow in prayer and devotion to God.
- Finding it hard to speak up for what’s right? Pray to St. John Paul II, “defender of the weak.”
- Need a kick in the rear to become more than just a regular dude? Pray to St. Paul, for encouragement toward excellence and “adherence to the truth.”
The pragmatism continues as he identifies specific practices to help Catholic men grow in holiness. Mass comes in pretty high on the list, of course. I was surprised and delighted to read his description of the Mass as “a refuge in the Spiritual Battle, where Catholic men meet their King, hear His commands, and become strengthened with the Bread of Life.” We should talk about the Mass like that more often!
As the letter continues, it grows more profound and almost sadder, yet “the joy of the Gospel is stronger than the sadness wrought by sin.” Bishop Olmsted describes the crucial importance of fellowship, fraternity, and brotherhood among men who are all seeking to follow Jesus. He emphasizes the need for men to proclaim the truth of the grandeur of spousal love (and not just marital love). “In doing so, you radiate the light of Christ in an area of society so darkened by what has always threatened spousal love.” He speaks to married men who face the “rotten fruit of the Sexual Revolution.” We were promised “free love,” and instead we have “countless broken hearts bound by fear of more pain, broken lives, broken homes, broken dreams and broken belief that love is even possible.”
In this time of evil’s growing boldness, each man must prepare himself for nothing less than martyrdom, whatever form this may take, and to instill in his children and grandchildren the willingness to do the same.
As I expected, the bishop also addresses the challenge of masculine chastity in a world that laughs at the idea. Yet even in the face of that scorn, he says, “masculine chastity is a ‘long and exacting work’ that we should be proud to undertake!” (CCC 2342)
He ends the letter with a discussion of fatherhood. I read plenty about spiritual motherhood, but I don’t think I’ve ever considered spiritual fatherhood to the same extent, despite my general understanding of the priesthood. He writes that “a father’s role as spiritual head of the family must never be understood or undertaken as domination over others, but only as a loving leadership and a gentle guidance for those in your care.” I can get behind that, and it does, in fact, sound like both priesthood and the kind of spiritual leadership I appreciate from my male friends.
In essence, Bishop Olmsted’s message is that the true model of man (both “man” as human and “man” as masculine) is Jesus. True strength lies in sacrifice, in giving up pleasure for the sake of the truth, in laying down one’s life for another—especially one who does not deserve it. As I read, I could tell that the bishop was not writing for me, but I was nonetheless enlightened. I’m encouraged. I know better how to spot a man who is really chasing after the heart of the Father and will carry me along for the journey. So I recommend this apostolic exhortation to both men and women, and I join in the call for men who will step forward into the breach to fight for Christ.
“Happy Clappy”?????
“Happy-clappy” is the term I used to describe a feelings-focused, emotion-driven approach to Catholicism. It’s not an approach that generally attracts men.
Hmmm….never heard that from any Catholic men I know. Or me for that matter. There sure are a lot of Pentecostal men who are drawn to the “happy-clappy” approach. I must meet some of these men that this book is addressing one day.
I have heard some comments about Pope Francis from Catholics and otherwise that would suggest that it isn’t so easy being a Catholic man for him, either.
Oh, I didn’t mean to suggest that being a Catholic man is easy. I don’t think being a Catholic at all is easy.
Oh, I agree Lindsay, and I didn’t hear you say that. I just was responding to you saying something about the world not being kind to Catholic men nowadays except for Pope Francis. Maybe I read that wrong. Pope Francis regularly gets slammed by Christians of all stripes. And ignored by Catholic politicians…That’s all I am saying.
This phenomenon is easy to see in youth ministry. I often find myself having to compensate for the programming that is built into most youth programs to engage the young men more successfully. I realize we are painting with broad strokes here, but in general a lot of our ministry is geared more towards women, and towards an emotional approach that favors heart over head. Catechesis is often considered “out of touch” and the intellect is frequently dismissed. Many guys on retreats check out because they have so many good questions that aren’t answered, or they get sick of talking about feelings.
Thanks for that clarification, Michael. That helps a lot. And the post is a well though out and well written one. It does paint in some broad strokes. Maybe that is what needs to happen, but well, people change as they age. Or at least I hope.:)
Well, I’ve written more on this than I have in a long time. Time to shut up a bit:)
God bless both of you.
It can be tough to articulate the Gospel message in ways that attract both sexes, but I think we could do a better job. Well done, thanks Lindsay!
In addition to being called a refuge in the Spiritual Battle, Mass has also been called a place where the battle takes place.
Did you know many people would like to get rid of girl alter servers and go to an all-male corps? And some would like to prohibit women from serving as lectors, too. One reason given is that the alter and anywhere near it are a place of “supernatural battle”, and men were made to fight while women were made to nurture, so only males should be up there fighting.
In the Diocese of Lincoln, girls are still not allowed to be altar servers, and until fairly recently, they weren’t at all. I love being a lector, and I think I have a gift for it, but I have little doubt I’d find another way to exercise that gift if I couldn’t lector.
As far as the “battle zone” reasoning, you can come up with silly(-sounding?) reasons for almost anything. I’ve heard people say you shouldn’t receive the Eucharist on the tongue because you’re sticking out your tongue at Jesus.
Spiritual entrepreneurs and parachurch organizations are always issuing these kind of calls for males to “man up” and get out there and fight. I wish I understood what they were talking about. I don’t think they really know themselves. Who and what are we supposed to fight? Where is the breach and who is on the other side?
Did you read the letter? It gets pretty specific about the who and what, the where, and the evil on the other side.
I live in Phoenix; this paper was written by my bishop. The parishes that I attend have given NO mention to this paper.
When it came out, it was popular in the Catholic media for a while, as it gave them something to talk about. On the Diocese web site, you can find a radio show called “Catholic Conversation” where a panel of the bishop’s inner circle talked about how this paper came to be. What I got from this show, was that an advisory panel of WOMEN told the bishop what to write. And the show advised WOMEN to print out the paper and nag their husbands to read it.
As I see it, the paper is just cleverly disguised man-bashing. Both men and women alike have been leaving the church in the recent generations.
I’m sorry to hear that the letter wasn’t well publicized in Phoenix. Do you have any suggestions for how to increase publicity, or for a different way to approach Catholic men’s spirituality?
Knowing what I know now about the origins of the letter, I see no need to publicize it further.
And as for “men’s spirituality”, I genuinely do not know what you mean. All I want from the Church is a quiet and solemn mass to attend each week. They are getting harder and harder to find among all the “happy clappy” silliness. I wish Bishop Olmsted would focus his attention on that.
I have written elsewhere that as an unmarried adult man, that the paper left me with a hollow feeling. It was clearly written my his mostly married female advisors. It does not even consider the many Catholic men who wished to meet and marry a Catholic woman but were unable to do so, for many reasons… most notably, that parishes do nothing to help singles to even identify each other.
Sure, the paper has a lot of good generic advice for all Catholics… but it also contains hurtful things to single men such as
“If you do not embrace the spousal and fatherly vocation God has planned for you, you will be stuck in the impotence of the “seed” that refuses to die and refuses to give life. Don’t settle for this half-life!”
“This is why fatherhood – living out one’s vocation to fatherhood, whether that fatherhood is bound up in physical marriage or spiritual marriage in the priesthood or religious life – is absolutely essential for a man to live out the fullness of his meaning in life.”
Ouch.
I’m sorry to hear that you found the letter hurtful! You can see in some of my other posts that I’ve been hurt (or annoyed) by things I’ve read in books for single women. But I don’t just complain; I do something about it.
Have you thought about what *you* might do to change the situation (or just the perception of the situation) that led the bishop to write this letter? What can you do to help create the quiet and solemn Mass you’re looking for? Does your pastor even know that you want quiet and solemnity? What sort of things would you suggest that parishes do to help singles identify each other? How do you live as a spiritual father?
Every parish in my area has at least one quiet (no music) Sunday mass, and/or one with traditional music. I know where and when they are. The attendees are mainly older folks and singles. Very few families. Now, that may be also true of the other types of masses – on the rare occasion where my schedule forces me to attend a “teen mass”, there are very few teens present.
There is a catch-22 situation in most parishes. Singles are not welcome in most activities; various stereotypes exist that prevent the involvement of perfectly “normal” people whose only mistake is not hitting the Catholic dating jackpot in their early twenties. So, singles have no way to make themselves known, and no way to change the nature of parish activities to be more inclusive and welcoming to all. That’s about all I can say.