A wise man once said to me, “The difference between a damned soul in Hell and a saint in Heaven is that the saint was a sinner who got back up ONE more time.” As humans, we unfortunately have a fallen nature from original sin, inherited by our first parents. For this reason, there are times we choose sin instead of God, who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. We as Catholics are called to “get back up” when we do fall into sin and to continue on pursuing God as He unceasingly pursues us.
The question I always had was, “How exactly do we know we got back up?” or “When does getting back up start?” I had these questions because I would fall into mortal sin practically once a week and would have to go to confession immediately the next week. I was devastated and mad at myself for constantly falling. I wanted to get back up, but I just felt hopeless.
Unfortunately, I had the wrong mentality when I would fall into mortal sin. I thought “getting back up” started when you went to confession. Because of this idea, the time between my fall to sin (ex. viewing pornography) and the next confession, I would just keep viewing porn thinking, “Well my soul is damned so I might as well just keep doing it until my next confession.”
This is a terrible mentality to have because it is the same as drinking poison (sin) thinking since you already took a sip, you might as well drink more before you took the antidote (Confession). It does not make sense because the antidote may help prevent the poison from killing you, but the poison still damaged your body (like what porn does to the mind).
It took me a while to realize this but getting back up does not start with confession (however it is a major part in the process of getting back up), it starts the EXACT moment after you fall.
Think of it this way, when Jesus fell while carrying His cross to the top of Calvary (Matthew 11:28-30), He did not stay down saying, “I think I am just going to lay down now for a day or two, you guys can keep beating me in the meantime.” No, He got back up immediately, though the pain was terrible, He did not want to stay there. Why? Because our redemption was too close at hand.
Brothers and Sisters, we should not stop carrying our cross when we fall! Becoming a saint is not as far off as we make it out to be. It is only just ONE step more!
One of Satan’s favorite lies is when he tells us that we are living a “dual life” as Catholics. Satan taunts us by reminding we have a vice we struggle with and don’t belong in a Church of Saints (1 Corinthians 12:22-25). My Brothers and Sisters, I laugh at this lie because here is the truth: There is no such thing as living a “dual life”.
Remember when Christ said, “A man cannot serve two masters. He will love one and hate the other?” (Matthew 6:24). Using this explanation, our master is either God or Satan (1 John 3:10), it can never be both. Having God as our master does not mean you never sin, it means you “get back up” when you do sin, refusing to not give up on yourself and especially God. Having Satan as your master means you just stay where you are living in sin, not caring at all of the state you are in.
I know a good sum of my brothers and sisters in Christ struggle with vices, particularly dealing with pornography. I desire for them to know to keep fighting for I know how this sin enslaves the human person. How do you fight? By becoming angry.
What I mean by anger is in the same sense when St. Paul says “Be angry, but sin not” (Ephesians 4:26). I am not talking about sinful anger that causes hate and murder, nor am I talking about you being angry with yourself. The type of anger I am talking about is the anger that is just called righteous indignation.
The perfect example of this is when Christ is flipping over tables and chasing out the greedy merchants in the temple of God. He does this because, as he said, “It is written: My house is a house of prayer; But you have turned it to a den of thieves” (Matthew 21:13). This Temple is the Father’s house and it is being filled with sinfulness and Jesus will not have it.
We are called to do the same, for our bodies too are temples of God (1 Corinthians 6:19). We must have that same righteous indignation Christ had when purifying the temple. Say to Satan, “This is my Father’s house! You have no place here and I will allow no sinfulness to take it over!” It is true that there is no one we can blame for our sins but ourselves and we will always sin. However, that does not mean we have to be okay with sin taking over our lives!
Meditate on the story in Ezekiel 37 when the prophet Ezekiel is sent to a barren wasteland filled with dry bones.
Scripture proceeds tells us: “{God} said to me: Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel! They are saying, “Our bones are dried up, our hope is lost, and we are cut off.” 12 Therefore, prophesy and say to them: Thus says the Lord God: Look! I am going to open your graves; I will make you come up out of your graves, my people, and bring you back to the land of Israel” (Ezekiel 11-12).
No matter how far you think you have fallen, how many times you’ve fallen, or how soon after confession you have fallen, it is never too late to get back up immediately.
Our God never gives up on you when you fall for, “Darkness is not dark for {God}, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one” (Psalm 139:11-12). Scripture clarifies here that our God does never sees us as our sin, but as His sons and daughters, always and forever (Galatians 4:6-7).
Advent Challenge
WEEK 1
My advent challenge to you is to really meditate on where you are in fighting the good fight. Even if you are spiritually dry and feeling nothing, are you still making that effort to pray? Even if you have fallen over and over again, are you still having hope in freedom? Even if you sinned right out of confession, are you still going to continue to pursue God and humble yourself back to confession (without being scrupulous)? Meditate on these questions and know that God is always calling you back.
I have never cried at an article like I cried reading this.
Thank you.