Shut the front door because we need to get real about our speech.
This isn’t a flippant or unnecessary discussion about language. We are living in a time of dangerous persecution and wars, so it seems like this topic may not be as important, but our words are always needed and used, so it remains an important topic.
Vulgarity is the norm in much of music and movies today, and this isn’t exactly a new concept. There has likely always been a set of phrases and words that have been labeled as distasteful or offensive in every language across cultures throughout history. As commonplace as it has become in our society, there are questions to be addressed about whether or not its a wrong or even sinful to use words that can be considered profane.
Words aren’t actions, how can they be immoral?
First, we need to clarify that it would be difficult to apply a blanket statement that classifies all use of profane words as immoral. Although, for the most part, profanity is labeled and used with an intended purpose, and it’s not positive. Usually, vulgar words are directed to insult, demean, or hurt others.
We also have to be honest about how much words really do mean to us. Words are the vehicle of our communication as humanity and make our thoughts, ideas, and intentions known to others. We can also be certain that they hold important meaning in the eyes of God because they are necessary in the vows and response of every sacrament. On the human level, it would be difficult to keep marriage to any standard without the vows shared and given publicly.
As Christians, we understand that we are responsible even the thoughts we choose to be our focus. Words even more so, because we understand that words are capable of hurting deeper than sticks and stones.
“No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.”
– Ephesians 4:29
Are there any specific words that should always be avoided?
I think we could all agree that there are different levels of profanity. As vulgar as the f-word can be, its limit stops at insult. There are certain phrases that reach the level of curse whenever words are used to ask for God’s condemnation, damnation, and sending someone or something to Hell. We will be held accountable for our words and judgments like these condemn us instead of the recipient.
Then there is blasphemy. It’s more than irreverence, God directly condemns the profaning of His name in the 10 Commandments. There is power in the name of Jesus, and we commit a grave injustice if we treat it like it means nothing or worse get, using His name in degrading a situation. Profanation of His name is always blasphemous.
“Blasphemy is directly opposed to the second commandment… The prohibition of blasphemy extends to language against Christ’s Church, the saints, and sacred things… [and] is in itself a grave sin”
– CCC 2148
Are there situations when cussing is permissible?
There is a wide selection of words that are not about blasphemy or condemnation – they are simply vulgar. There could be a case that certain situations excuse or possibly necessitate their use, but that would be uncommon. St Josemaria Escriva had some words to say about this.
“What conversations! What vulgarity and what dirt! And you have to associate with them, in the office, in the university, in the operating-theatre…, in the world.
Ask them if they wouldn’t mind stopping, and they laugh at you. Look annoyed, and they get worse. Leave them, and they continue.
This is the solution: first pray for them, and offer up some sacrifice; then face them like a man and make use of the ‘strong language apostolate’. — The next time we meet I’ll tell you — in a whisper — a few useful words.”
– The Way – 850
It is possible that there may be select instances when it facilitates a specific situation like a cop speaking with someone that only speaks that way. Even in these very select situations, there are likely ways to avoid it, and that path should be the preference.
“Let not your mouth form the habit of swearing, or becoming too familiar with the Holy Name…[O]ne who swears continually by the Holy Name will not remain free from sin.”
– Sirach 23:9
Last Words
Here’s a concluding thought. Repetition forms tendencies and those become habits. Our habits often lead us to act upon them without evening thinking about their meaning. This desensitization could lead to unfortunate situations of speaking crudely in very inappropriate situations. Worse still, in the case that your death comes through an act of sudden shock, they could be the last words you speak out of vice.
There are many reasons why we shouldn’t use vulgar words in an attempt to live a virtuous life, but in the end, the choice is up to you. We were given the freedom to use the same tongue that receives our Lord in the Eucharist to speak as we choose. I hope we all choose wisely.
“It is not what goes into a man’s mouth that makes him impure; it is what comes out of his mouth… Do you not see that everything that enters the mouth passes into the stomach and is discharged into the latrine, but what comes out of the mouth originates in the mind? It is things like these that make a man impure”
– Matthew 15:11, 17-18
I grew up Southern Baptist and I remember hearing over and over three things you never do- dance, drink and curse. It was drilled into us from an early age. At the time, in the mid-60’s, it was quite okay to be racist and to look down at “unbelievers”, or to say poor people were lesser than. I never heard not to do that. Seriously. And blasphemy? If you even got close to it, you were damned forever. It was the unforgivable sin. I remember that, too. And I remember fearing that I might have done that accidently or didn’t know exactly what it was and then do it and be damned forever. It gave me nightmares. Such a God….
A nun once came to me as a very young man when I was cutting up like an immature kid waiting for the bus home from Antonian high school to my home school.. I thought she was going to hit me with a ruler because I heard all the stereotypes. She didn’t. She said I looked very troubled. That was it. I simply thought I was in trouble. She wore John Lennon glasses before that was cool. I finally told her how much I lived every day in fear of God sending me to hell forever and I wasn’t always sure I wasn’t heading there already. For the life of me, I don’t know why I did that or who she was.
She looked at me and said, “there is no end to God’s love and mercy”, be kind to yourself, for God is kind to you.
I will never forgot her. Ever.
When I felt that love and acceptance, I wanted to be kind to others. Even as a young boy. I still do.
As an adult I have clients who cuss, swear and take the Lord’s name in vain. They are angry, they are hurting, they are scary, they are scared.
When I hear it, I remember that dear Nun. And I try to love them. As God loved me.
That is the God I know now. And that nun was sent by God to speak to my hurting, scared little soul.
You know a lot about theology, Cristobal. I don’t know much about what is a sin and what is not, and what specific cursing means what, or even if its moral or not. And I really don’t know whether a cop should meet that language with the same language. I would probably say no. And I don’t even know for sure if calling a policeman or woman a “cop” is even very respectful to them. You have more answers for this than I do.
I do know what it is like to feel redemptive, transformative love. And it came to a Southern Baptist who knew nothing but a wrathful God from a little old nun with John Lennon glasses.
Really great article Cris. I like the part where you write, “Worse still, in the case that your death comes through an act of sudden shock, they could be the last words you speak out of vice.” I know many people, including myself, who blurt out curses right before a car accident, or a near accident. My prayer is that I would say, “Save me Jesus” instead of the alternative.
You did a great job with this!