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Dealing with Loneliness

Published June 15, 2013 • Written by Laurelin Ontai Filed Under: Blog

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No matter how many friends we have or how big our families are, we are all bound to experience loneliness at one point or another. Even if we are surrounded by people, there are times when we feel like nobody understands us. When we feel alone, the devil tries to trick us into thinking that God doesn’t love us and that we don’t deserve to be loved by anyone. Of course, the opposite is true. In being away from my friends and family throughout my college years, I’ve experienced feelings of loneliness; but more and more I’ve come to enjoy my alone time. Don’t get me wrong, I see the time spent with my friends and family as one of the greatest blessings in my life; but I’ve also come to appreciate the time I spend by myself as much as the time I spend with others. Here’s a couple of things I’ve learned to appreciate about being alone:

It’s time to spend with God

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

Our God is a jealous God. Sometimes He takes us away from people so we can spend all of our time with Him. That’s just His way of showing us how much He loves us and longs for our whole heart. And in the end, we are never really alone. God never leaves us.

Alone time is very special because it’s time for just you and God. When we’re interested in someone, we like to spend a lot of time with him or her. Since God should be who we want to spend time with the most, we should look forward to being alone with Him. So next time you feel you’re all alone in this world, pray. God is right there with you.

It’s time to spend with yourself

“He who gains intelligence is his own best friend; he who keeps understanding will be successful.” – Proverbs 19:8

With our hectic lives, we may concentrate so much on pleasing other that we forget to take care of ourselves. When you spend time with your friends and family you get to know them better; so when you spend time with yourself you get to know yourself better. In spending time with yourself, you can learn to love yourself more.

We all need to learn to love ourselves. Not in the sense of being narcissistic, but in the sense of admiring the unique being God made each one of us. The more we learn to love ourselves the more we can learn to love others. It’s hard sometimes because we see all of our sins and all our failures, but to love in spite of these shortcomings is to love as Christ loves. God loves you infinitely, so why can’t you love yourself?

Spending time with others is more precious

“But it was you, my other self, my comrade and friend,
You, whose company I enjoyed, at whose side I walked in procession in the house of God.” – Psalm 55:14

The saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” holds a lot of truth. I often find time with my friends much more enjoyable and meaningful after I’ve spent time by myself. Fellowship is such a precious gift from God, but we often take it for granted until it’s gone.

Spending a lot of time and energy on others can be very draining. The time spent away from others can be used to recharge our batteries. We serve others best when we are most energized, so spending time alone can actually help us serve others better.

So if you can, try and spend a little bit of time alone. Cherish the time you get to spend by yourself. I know it can be hard sometimes with all of our commitments to school, work, spouses, family and friends, but when we are free from the distractions of life we can discover so much more about who we are and who God wants us to be. And if you are feeling lonely, know that God is always there beside you, and our Blessed Mother is right there comforting you in your time of need; not to mention the saints who are praying for you constantly. Always remind yourself that God loves you so deeply, and that feelings of loneliness are really just our hearts longing for Jesus. Remember that God yearns for the day when we no longer have to suffer, when we can be in full communion with Him in His Heavenly Kingdom.

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Written by Laurelin Ontai • Published June 15, 2013

Comments

  1. Bejeweled says

    June 16, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    A great reminder

    Reply

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The Author

Laurelin Ontai

Laurelin is a cradle Catholic from Lubbock, TX who is currently a junior at UT majoring in advertising with a minor in business. She is president of her campus ministry at the University Catholic Center at UT. She is social media obsessed and a lover of corgis. With the power of advertising, she wants to spread the news of Jesus Christ. She doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life, but is always striving to become the best version of herself.

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