‘Parenthood’: Drew Finds Out His Girlfriend Is Pregnant And Wants An Abortion
In its four season history as a television show, NBC’s Parenthood has addressed issues that are honest, relatable and believable. From addiction to special needs children to infidelity to being a single mother to cancer to infertility issues to adoption to a soldier’s return from Afghanistan and more, Parenthood has not shied away from tough topics. I’ve been impressed with how delicately and thoroughly they’ve addressed most issues. But a couple of weeks ago and leading into this week, I have been deeply disappointed.
During their January 8th episode, “Small Victories,” NBC’s Parenthood attempted the controversial and difficult topics of teen pregnancy and abortion. From the moment Drew is told by his girlfriend Amy that she is pregnant, the viewer was drawn into a major teen crisis. After a visit to the Abortion Clinic, and with anxieties and concerns of both the present and future, Amy tells Drew her decision.
“Well, there’s only one option, right? …If I have this baby, my life is over,” she told him.
“It doesn’t have to be over,” Drew countered. “We could start a life. I can go to college. I can get a job. There are plenty of people who can help us.”
Both Drew and Amy are high school seniors whose their parents and other adult mentors are noticeably un-involved and relatively oblivious to their lives. A high school teacher, who was engaged to Drew’s mom let’s her know he’s concerned about Drew and Amy. Yet when the mom, Sarah, discusses what’s happening with Drew, he passes it off as college anxieties, which she accepts and moves on.
At his insistence he be there for her, Drew drives his Amy to the Abortion Clinic to obtain information and set a date for the procedure. He later confides in his older sister about what’s happening in his life, even asking her for money to help pay for the abortion he doesn’t want his girlfriend to get. She reassures him that everything will be okay, that it’s not entirely his fault and that “it happens.” He shares with her, “I don’t want to give it up, but I’m trying to respect how she feels. It’s just hard…”
Despite his feelings, he accepts money to help his Amy obtain an abortion, drives her to the abortion appointment, waits in the waiting room while she has the procedure and drives her home.
At the end of the episode, we see Drew grappling with the emotions of what has just been done, the loss of his child and so much more. And he seeks out his mother for comfort with gut-wrenching emotion. But it is too late.
And that’s how the storyline pretty much ended with the exception of one, small moment in the season finale (I’ll get to that later).
For me, my disappointment with the most recently episodes of NBC’s Parenthood began with the timing of the episode, two weeks before the 40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Additionally the title of the episode, “Small Victories” makes me cringe. The name seems like a cruel joke, as if the idea of the “victory” of the death of a small innocent child is positive.
My disappointment in the episode “Small Victories” is related in part to the character Drew, who claimed to want the child, but did little to attempt to keep the baby. Unfortunately, it is a reflection of our society in that many fathers do not believe they have much of a say in whether an abortion happens or not, since it’s “not their body,” Additionally, by law, fathers are excluded from participating in the abortion decision. These two things highlighted a very real concern in our legal system, that as a father, Drew was powerless to delay Amy’s decision, even by a week. And so Drew spends little time discussing with Amy what he truly wants, only addressing it once with her.
Additionally, it was frustrating to see Drew’s character not do what teens should do when they have a difficult situation they are dealing with- talk to a parent and/or a trusted adult. The one time Drew does ask Amy about talking to her parents, she says, “I don’t know. They just like, see me in this certain way.”
This could have been a key teaching moment for the audience of Parenthood, yet they did not take the moment to help teens see there are more options to available to them then just taking care of a crisis, life-altering situation by themselves.
The episode did a good job showing the extreme isolation teens can feel when in a crisis, to the point of not even talking to parents about the situation, and it was positive to see Drew confide in his sister. But despite Drew confiding in his sister, who did comfort him in his turmoil, his sister did little to help him reach his desired goal of keeping the child and instead helped him end the life of his child by providing him with money for the abortion. Yes, Drew was trying to respect what his girlfriend wanted by seeking help for money for the abortion, but ultimately he ended up sacrificing and being disrespectful to one life as a result of trying to be respectful to another.
Another key moment I was appalled at was the portrayal of the abortion clinic, Planned Parenthood. Now, I’ve never been in an abortion myself, yet the seemingly cheery and helpful atmosphere of the clinic was unconvincing in its portrayal of a place that helps and comforts people in times of crisis pregnancy, including pregnant teens.
A clinician (presumably a doctor) sits in a room with the teens: “If you decide to continue the pregnancy we’d be happy to refer for prenatal care. Of course there are resources for teen moms who decide to raise a child. Now adoption is also an option for you to consider….”
As music plays and drowns out the clinician, indicating how overwhelming all the information is to the two teens, the looks on their teens faces says it all. They’re overwhelmed. They’re undecided. They’re too young to be making a decision like this.
Throughout the episode, I did appreciate the show of emotional turmoil related to the overwhelming task of deciding how to proceed and the difficulty of the decision. Teen pregnancy and abortion are difficult topics. Yet they were topics that I’ve dealt with in real life through friends and in ministry, from friends who I found out later had abortions and pregnant teens in ministry. And they are never simple to resolve issues as this episode made it seem.
This simplicity in how to resolve the “problem” of a teen pregnancy is the primary reason why I was concerned with the episode “Small Victories.” It is the true that both teen pregnancy and teen abortion happen. Yet teen pregnancy is not a “problem” with only one solution. And the show has addressed so many difficult topics over the course of its four seasons, and most if not all those topics have spanned over many episodes. And so, before I decided completely how I felt about NBC’s Parenthood addressing the topics of teen pregnancy and abortion, I waited for the next two episodes.
And now I can say I am overwhelmingly disappointed with how cavalierly NBC’s Parenthood addressed the issue of teen pregnancy and abortion overall. In the two episodes that followed “Small Victories,” the topic was only momentarily touched upon in the season finale. The show made it appear as though abortion solved all the teens’ problems and helped them realize they dreams, because as the teens met up and talked on Amy’s porch one night, they shared about their acceptance into their dream colleges. NBC’s Parenthood made it seem that abortion solved all their problems and was able to put them in a nice, clean and neat little box that can be put away on the shelf not to be dealt with again.
What would the Catholic Church say about how the situation was handled by the people in this episode? First, it’s important to note that as Catholics aren’t called to judge anyone, including persons who have had (or allowed) abortions, but recognize wrong in actions.
We’d consider it a moral wrong for Amy to have an abortion, but we’d also consider both Drew and his sister morally in the wrong, because of their participation, by helping another person obtain an abortion. We’d consider his sister morally at fault for the abortion because of the money she gave her brother and because she did nothing to prevent the abortion. But we’d consider Drew even more morally responsible than his sister, because he helped provide money and did nothing to prevent the abortion but actually drove Amy to the abortion appointment.
But even more important than addressing the wrongs would be offering those involved love, forgiveness, mercy and support for all men and women dealing with the after-effects of abortion, which NBC’s Parenthood did not feel it necessary to completely address. Project Rachel, a compassionate and confidential ministry helps woman and men experience spiritual and emotional healing after abortion.
So, I rarely participate in live tweeting an event (well, except for Texas Longhorn sports), but during and after the episode “Small Victories” on NBC’s Parenthood , I couldn’t help but check out what others were saying about the episode. The response, of course, was mixed. But many in the cyber world were also like me, upset with the abortion. Some men shared they too, had an experience like Drew’s character, with a woman obtaining an abortion they did not agree with. The response on blogs and in news hasn’t been overwhelming, but as expected, those pro-choice advocates are applauding the episode. And those of us pro-life advocates are concerned.
And now you’ve read my thoughts on the episode. What are yours?
See clips the episode, “Small Victories” from NBC’s Parenthood , titled “A Big Problem for Amy and Drew” here:
http://www.nbc.com/parenthood/video/a-big-problem-for-amy-and-drew/n31272/
Rita, I completely agree with how poorly they handled this storyline. So many other issues they have covered have gotten many episodes to develop and explore, but this one was shoved into only one. It would have been a great story if it had developed more instead of dropped within a week. It really proves that we are in a pro-death society and it is so sad…
Thanks for your thoughts! And it was surprising they took such a complex issue and stuffed it into one episode. I cannot remember one another storyline that was resolved in just one episode. I’m hoping that if they have another season, the continued psychological affects will be addressed.
I had many of the same reactions, definately about the portrayal of PP. How many adoption referrals do they REALLY do? How many former workers have come out and said that they are encouraged to guide the women to just have the abortion right away, knowing if they wait they might choose life.
Very true, I hadn’t looked at numbers, but know that there are extensively waiting lists for people wanting to adopt babies in the US. Here in Austin Marywood, our Catholic Adoption Agency, had to close because they had so few woman choose to offer their baby up for adoption. And they had been open for 90+ years!
You can really see the not-so-subtle agenda here by where the writers chose to reflect reality (e.g., Drew’s feelings of powerlessness and not talking to his Mom) and where they chose to ignore it (e.g., abortion provider discussing adoption and lack of any lingering psychological impact). Excellent post Rita!
Thanks Joel! And I did find it interesting what they focused on very interesting, which is why I was shocked that everything happened pretty much over one episode (finding out about pregnancy, PP consult, and abortion). And it was interesting to have this paired with the other storyline of the adoption concerns other family members were going through.
I so don’t agree with the comments below. I think the title “Small Victories” may have referred to the other story lines being portrayed at the same time ie Christina and her battle with cancer, the adoption of Joel and Julia’s son and his journey towards acceptance in this beautiful family, Sarah’s struggle to develop a relationship with Hank, and even the young war veteran’s battle to overcome his demons. I do think the attitude of the show in this case was leaning towards abortion. Although always a difficult choice, it is clearly the right choice for many people. I don’t agree that the Catholic Church always knows the way to go, as they have so often proven, and I think the other options, although not detailed, were certainly brought up and then discarded a bit too quickly. It is a shame, I agree, that the father, no matter how young or mature, is not given a chance to make this decision, but in the end, the mom is the one whose body is involved through either process, birth or abortion, and the decision is ultimately hers. I believe the show, in the short hour of time, and with many other stories going on, dealt with it in a compassionate if not lengthy manner.
Thanks for your comments!
I do think the title could have been more appropriate, considering that the pregnancy/abortion storyline was a very prominent one and this was the only episode they were choosing to address it in, though I do agree that the other moments were victories. And I did think it was especially fitting with the young war veteran’s struggle.
I know that not everyone agrees that the Catholic Church knows how to handle every situation. However, it is up to individuals whether they wish to be Catholic in all things or Catholic in only some things, such as making choices to have an abortion. The Catholic Church rarely dismisses a person and says they have no place in the Church if they do not wish to follow all the teachings of the Catholic Church (though some people might wish we did), as we are all sinners and do not follow the teachings of the Catholic Church perfectly. But the Catholic Church does ask us to recognize when we have not followed the teachings of our Catholic faith.
You are right, the Catholic Church, being made of imperfect people, does not always make the right decisions. But the teachings of our Catholic faith, which were guided by the Holy Spirit, are considered perfect and true and right . Yet we don’t always understand the wisdom and reasons behind the teachings of the Catholic Church. Consider what someone knows about the Eucharist as a 2nd grader receiving First Communion. That the host is Jesus and it’s special and should be treated with respect. There’s not much depth in our knowledge on the subject. We may not even completely understand why what we’re doing is important in following the teachings of the Catholic Church in receiving the Eucharist. But as we get older, we hopefully grow in our faith and understanding of the gift of Christ in the Eucharist, transubstantiation, the Eucharistic Prayers of the Mass and the theology behind the Eucharist, etc. We hopefully gain more insight on the Catholic Church teachings on the Eucharist, beyond just the basics we learned when we were young. And we are called to do the same with other teachings of the Catholic Church that we may or may not totally understand (or may not agree with), but that we’re still called to follow anyway because they are part of our faith. And we’re especially called to do that with teachings that can be difficult for us, like abortion. There’s so much out there (encyclicals, books, letters, blogs, podcasts and more) that can help us understand the reasons behind each and every teaching of our faith, from difficult topics like abortion to “easier” topics such as Christ’s death on the cross.
I do agree the show addressed the complexities of teen pregnancy and abortion in that moment well, I just personally wish they had continued to address it. One thing that I had really wanted to know was that if Drew was so torn up about the abortion (as shown in the final scene with his mom), why was that not addressed in the next episode at all?
Again, thanks for your thoughts! Your comments are appreciated.
This reminds me of the storyline in “Grey’s Anatomy” last fall (at least I think it was last fall). A married woman (Cristina) became pregnant by her husband (Owen), but she wanted an abortion because she never wanted children despite getting married. (Interestingly, she had miscarried a baby she conceived with another man before she got married.) Her husband didn’t want the abortion, but he eventually supported her through it. Later, he admitted to cheating on her because he was still angry about the abortion. They are currently divorced but still in a relationship, having realized they should never have gotten married. I wasn’t happy that she had an abortion at all, but I’m intrigued by how far the writers have developed the story, and I’m interested in seeing how far it will go.
(When people question my enthusiasm for my faith and my love of “Grey’s,” I give examples like that. The characters make some terrible life choices, but they’re so rich and interesting!)
Hi – your article was linked here, so I wanted to read through your thoughts.
I had a very different reaction: I think Parenthood handled it quite well. Here’s why:
1. They don’t show any conversations of PP workers, so PP doesn’t really get a lot of props
2. More than that, what happens to Drew and Amy afterwards is the real story of abortion. Amy recoils from Drew and withdraws from him. He is trying to do the right thing, but what 15 year old knows what the right thing to do is? Esp when his own father is absent? You put too much weight on a 15 year old to step up to the plate.
3. Parenthood shows us the pain that men do go through: Drew is incredibly upset at it all. Sure his sister is no help but she’s a mess herself a lot of the time. The best part is, he goes to his mom who comforts him and talks with him.
4. Amy shows up later in their first year of college-so, not long after the abortion-and she is unable to cope with life. She is depressed and can’t face anything. Drew finally brings up the abortion as the possible reason she is suffering, and lets her know that it is ok to talk about it, that she has to talk about it with someone.
Overall, I can’t see that they treated abortion as some sort of celebration. They didn’t. There was no proud moment, no “rights” discussion, no “this is my body I’m going to do what I want” feminist nonsense. It was I’m young, I’m scared, I don’t know what else to do, I don’t even understand my own emotions and in the end abortion really wreaked havoc on their lives.
That’s not how the world and pro-choice folks portray abortion. I think they would be disappointed in how the show did NOT portray it as a positive event. Parenthood showed how abortion devastates lives.
I meant to say, this article linked to here! Sorry. http://www.catholicvote.org/parenthood-producer-jason-katims-on-ambers-choice-for-life/