Mary has a presence all her own. I didn’t always know that – I didn’t always know her. I remember distinctly the first time I really felt her near. I was on a silent retreat, the first I’d ever attended. It was a 3-day experience of the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. During the Exercises, you spend a lot of time on your own, meditating on certain gospel passages, different images of God and your salvation history and relationship with Him. During these times we could wander freely through the verdant retreat grounds and quiet, dark chapels. And close to the one of the houses, overlooking a green space, was Mary. Her image quiet and white in stone – but her presence was undeniable. There was a sweetness in the air there, a softness and gentleness, that wasn’t anywhere else. Does she always reside there or did she come for me? It doesn’t matter. She can bring her presence wherever she wishes. That’s what’s so special about the Assumption. Christ brought her body and soul into Heaven – and then sent her back to continue her mission as Co-Redeemer in His mission, as the perfect vessel through which He showers us with all graces, as the perfect educator of the Christian person. (Indeed tradition even tells of a Marian apparition before the Assumption, to St.James while he was in ministering in Spain – see Our Lady of the Pillar.)
Mary really allows her presence to be felt to us today, when we make ourselves present to her. Ever since that first glimpse of her in the silence, I have sought her – or you could more rightly say she has sought me, has drawn me in. Whatever church I’m in, I’ll find myself drawn to stop by and spend time with her, however she is represented in that church. And it’s not just with statues in churches either, she is present wherever we are. I put a little wrought iron Mary on my porch so she could make her home among my flowers and the view, and I have a prayer table at my home, too – that’s probably the most regular spot where Mary and I hang out.
But there are also a few designated Marian places of which I have become very fond and where I especially sense her near. I’ll highlight just two.
Lourdes Grotto & Guadalupe Tepeyac. I’ve been spending time at the Grotto after work these days. I can feel how it’s different there, the Marian atmosphere. The rich
dark shade of the trees lets me imagine I’m in the shade of her mantel, and I am, for there I find reprieve, consolation, rest. Her presence. I invite you to visit if you’ve never been. Some of my San Antonio friends were the first to tell me about it and encourage me to check it out. Sometimes there’s a mass or something happening, but it’s generally quiet, and there’s lots of shaded paths to walk, too.
The Shrine of Our Lady of Schoenstatt. If you’ve ever read my blogs before, you’ve heard me talk about the Marian Shrine being built in Austin right now. Though it’s not
technically a Shrine yet (Dedication Day with Bishop Joe Vasquez is coming up in a few weeks, Sept 13th – everyone’s welcome to come!), Mary’s presence has been felt on that hilltop long since, by myself and by many before me. I’ll never forget the first time I drove up to the land. I knew this place was different, and I felt a strange conviction that something huge was going to happen there. 7 years later, the Shrine is almost finished, and soon I hope many and many more will find Mary’s
presence there.
There’s also a Shrine of Our Lady of Schoenstatt in San Antonio. In fact they are all over the world, starting with the first one in Schoenstatt, Germany. I like to drive out to the one here in SA, too. It’s tucked away in the wooded outskirts of the main city, technically in Helotes. Nested on a hill, it’s a quiet refuge from the San Antonio hub-bub and traffic. If you visit, I invite you to go exploring in the hill behind the Shrine to find the special little grotto for St.Joseph, and meet him there, too.
I’ll say this in closing – during that silent retreat where I first knew Mary’s presence, I felt I shouldn’t linger in the sweetness too long – I’d gone on the retreat to do some hard work, not to rest! I felt that after a short repose with her I should get back to really facing the tough stuff. As I’ve matured and as I’ve gotten to know Mary, I see that’s not quite it. First, we all need rest, and learning to take spiritual rest is as important to growth as learning to strive in sacrifice. Second – Mary is no lazy mamma. She’s nothing but sweetness of course, but let’s not forget she’s the woman who crushed the devil himself. I know now that she is a tough educator, because she educates you in honesty towards being your most authentic self – which means discomfort, remorse, humility and sharp growing pains as much as it means consolation, mercy and reprieve. As Mary is totally transparent of God, she educates in His Love, full of His Spirit- and like a good mother, never teaches us what we aren’t ready for yet.
I’ll leave you with a last quote on how Mary educates, and I’ll encourage you too to check out Danielle’s Rose’s song on the Assumption, With You in Heaven.
“How strong Mary’s influence is upon the human heart cannot easily be expressed in words. Such things become clear only when the veil which covers the story of each soul is lifted. St. Bonaventure accurately captures the believing conviction of the Catholic faithful when, expressing a kind of law in the kingdom of God, he explains, “The fire of her love overcomes all things.” What he wants to say is that there is no obstacle in the human person which she, in the long run, cannot overcome. She is capable of breaking the iron chains of our habits, snaps the tightest strictures, and knows how to resolve the most complicated predicaments. St. Bernard confirms this in his fiery manner: The flames of love in her heart, he says, “are vehement. They are like bolts of lightening which strike their mark quickly and unerringly; they fell the sinner just as the Lord felled Saul on the road to Damascus (cj. Acts 9:3f). She, the daughter of that God who in the Old Testament is called fire, she the Mother of that Son whom the prophet Ezekiel (1:3) called a burning torch, consumes sin down to its very roots and burns up all bad habits and sinful inclinations of the soul. She tears away all the illusions and the empty dreams which the sinner makes for himself and destroys like cobwebs all fabricated reasons and pretexts which he tries to use as an excuse.” Mary, Our Mother and Educator, Fr. J.Kentenich, p 22-23.

“Just as you accompanied Our Lord in this life, and lived and loved and suffered with him, so, at the completion of your life, he takes you body and soul into heaven. With my whole heart I share in your happiness and pray that the world may enjoy a similar fate.” J Kentenich, Heavenwards. Painting in the Assumption Chapel at St.Mary’s University in San Antonio. “




Thank you for this. It is beautiful. <3
Thank you for reading Shawn <3!
This is so beautiful, and so heartfelt, Rachel. I admit that sometimes your writing seems so intellectual and linear that I don’t get a sense of “you”, (and that is okay, too) but this feels so different. I feel and sense you, your relationship to Mary, and a kindness and gentleness. Thanks for much for sharing yourself so openly. It means a lot to me and I am sure to others.
Hi Kat! Thanks for (continuing) to read my writing 😉 Mary makes me gush, what can I say? I am happy that you found meaning in what I wrote. That makes me want to keep writing 😉 Many blessings to you in your own walk with Mary!
First of all, I want to join the others in saying what a beautiful, heartfelt and wonderfully open piece of writing this is. Absolutely. And then I will give an open confession- I am a female (obviously) ordained Protestant pastor who read your blog last October about women and the priesthood and was quite frankly offended to the point where I couldn’t even respond in any way except ignore it. It felt so angry and I felt so stereotyped and patronized by the tone and the argumentative style I just let it go. And a couple of the others seemed so angry, and ironically, so male in tone. I was ready to write you off as a person who felt the need to be right more than loving. I am wrong on that count, Rachel. This post, and several of your more recent are so beautiful and so different in tone that I gladly admit I had you sized up wrong and am glad I stuck with your blogs. We can learn, Rachel, even a “old” woman like myself. God bless you and it is so nice to see growth and change and to see me wrong!:) Keep up the good work and good luck with your future as a therapist.
Oh, Rachel. My husband, Ken, just looked at this and very kindly and pointedly mentioned that I may have been patronizing myself. I looked, and yes, I may have been. I want to convey that I don’t think that you are in any way wrong in your view on the ordination of women in the Catholic Church. And the growth and change I mentioned is in referral to me. Sorry, dear! You don’t need to change your views at all. That is not my place. My overreaction is just me being me. Maybe I said too much……We did post your wonderful blog on the wall of our home church in Houston. We Methodists could use a bit more Mary. They loved it! Blessings….
Hi Katherine! Thank you for posting, for both comments. For the past few days I was looking for time to set aside to reply to you and have been reflecting on what you had said. As God would have it, you posted again while I was pondering your words. I want to say that I took them to heart and have been thinking about my writing style, that I take your feedback seriously. My October post was a bit gutsy – you could say that was just me being me 🙂 I feel it is important to talk about female vocations in the church & ordinations, especially with those who see it differently. So I’m glad you read the post and even glad you reacted the way you did. Thanks for sharing that with me, too. Your feedback helps me to grow and change, too. And I appreciate you sharing the post with your church!! I’m humbled, and also totally thrilled that Mary got some good air time. We could all use a bit more Mary! Thank you again Katherine! I hope that you keep reading, and posting!