{"id":81075,"date":"2015-01-27T08:56:17","date_gmt":"2015-01-27T14:56:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=81075"},"modified":"2015-01-27T22:28:29","modified_gmt":"2015-01-28T04:28:29","slug":"5-things-dont-know-survival-kit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/01\/5-things-dont-know-survival-kit\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things to Do When You Don&#8217;t Know What to Do: A Survival Kit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When you are in a time of intense suffering; grief, dread, or emotional overload, when you are walking around the house just staring at things, when getting through the day seems impossible, and you don\u2019t know what to do with yourself, read this:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Do the next right thing.<\/strong> This might be eating a sandwich, sweeping the floor, going for a walk. Do one thing at a time. Do the task, and then do the next one. My mother used to say, <em>\u201cWipe your table, sweep your kitchen floor, make your bed, and call me back.\u201d<\/em> It works.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Section off the day into manageable pieces.<\/strong><br \/>\nYou don\u2019t have to suffer the way you feel, or the situation you are in forever, only for today. Divide the day up into sections. Think of something you are going to do at the end of each time period to mark its end and transition into the next one.<\/p>\n<p>I have used:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>calling a friend<\/li>\n<li>reading a daily devotional or thought for the day<\/li>\n<li>a novena prayed every hour instead of once a day<\/li>\n<li>praying the <em>Liturgy of the Hours<\/em> through the day<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0a short walk<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These little things are anchors and dividers in the day to help re-center, reground, and chop a long, difficult day into chunks you can manage. This helps a lot.<\/p>\n<p>My mom used to say, <em>\u201cBrush your teeth, wash your face, say your prayers, and start your day over again.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Restart you day, she would say, any time, and as many times as you need to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Master your thoughts.<\/strong> In times of crisis the mind becomes crowded with speculative, negative, or questioning thoughts that are very unhelpful.<\/p>\n<p>These thoughts might be about blaming yourself or others, trying to figure out how or why something happened, why or whether God allowed it, or going over and over possible outcomes to a frightening situation you may be in.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_7840.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-82992 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_7840-550x366.jpg?resize=550%2C366\" alt=\"Labyrinth at Cedarbrake\" width=\"550\" height=\"366\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>These lines of thought, and others like them, are tricks of the well meaning brain, trying to problem solve, predict the future, or give us a sense of control or order.<\/p>\n<p>This not only wastes precious energy, it overloads us emotionally and mentally, and can block us from accessing real wisdom and strength which would help us to peace. As my dad says, \u201cThere\u2019s no truth in those thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When you find yourself spinning your wheels this way, try to catch yourself and dismiss unhelpful thoughts. Don\u2019t be mad at yourself, don\u2019t be mean about it, just say to the mind, \u201cNope. Not today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Routinely stopping and observing your surroundings, and saying a set, short prayer, might help you let go of the offending train of thought.<\/p>\n<p>I like to imagine putting all my fears and problems into the hands of Jesus, or putting them in Mary&#8217;s lap to pray over for me.<\/p>\n<p>If you dismiss unhelpful thinking over and over, it works surprisingly well to help you feel better, make room for grace, and give you a sense of true empowerment.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Be your own best friend.<\/strong> It\u2019s hard enough feeling horrible, but you can make it so much harder by being disappointed in yourself, and by what my psychologist sister-in-law, Jamie, calls, \u201cnegative self -talk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>One day I was so mad at myself for not being further along in my grief (whatever that means,) for not getting anything done, for being a wimp.<\/p>\n<p>I felt that the Lord asked me if I would treat my friend, Jocie, that way if she came over feeling like I did.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, I would never talk to her like this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I would love her, encourage her, and take care of her. I understood that this was how Jesus wanted me to treat myself for His sake.<\/p>\n<p>Please be kind and accept yourself. Be sensitive to yourself. Understand that some days you\u2019re doing well just to make it through the day and let it be that kind of day, if it is that kind of day.<\/p>\n<p>Do for yourself what you would do for a best friend. Think of it as a way to practice surrender and humility. Because it is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Pray.\u00a0<\/strong>You will feel like you can\u2019t pray sometimes. The 11TH Step of Alcoholics Anonymous mentions prayer as \u201cconscious contact\u201d with God. \u00a0That is always possible.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s OK if you don&#8217;t feel prayerful. Today, focus on what St. Therese called a\u00a0<em>&#8220;simple look toward Heaven.&#8221;\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Some things I have done in times of shock, fear, trauma, or grief, are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>clutching my Bible to my chest<\/li>\n<li>simply holding a rosary<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0making some physical gesture of prayer without forming any thoughts or words<\/li>\n<li>offering my pain to God in union with Jesus on the Cross<\/li>\n<li>visualizing putting my head against Jesus\u2019 chest<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0just being in the darkness, knowing, with &#8220;naked faith&#8221; (St. John \u00a0of the Cross) that God was with me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Holy music can really help. Try playing spiritual music that centers you, on these kinds of days. This is setting up and environment of prayer for yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Strangely, prayers of praise in the midst of suffering can be a powerful catalyst for peace of heart.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>\u201cBlessed be God.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Blessed be His Holy Name.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>~ The Divine Praises<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/26929_1436315352341_1788772_n.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-82788 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/26929_1436315352341_1788772_n-550x367.jpg?resize=550%2C367\" alt=\"prayer\" width=\"550\" height=\"367\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>May God&#8217;s transforming love be with you in your suffering, as we, the Church, are with you, and may the Holy Spirit comfort you and give you peace. Right now. Today.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you are in a time of intense suffering; grief, dread, or emotional overload, when you are walking around the house just staring at things, when getting through the day seems impossible, and you don\u2019t know what to do with yourself, read this: 1. Do the next right thing. This might be eating a sandwich,&#8230;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/01\/5-things-dont-know-survival-kit\/\">[Read&nbsp;More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":155,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[90],"tags":[1042,2654,50,2132,2655,74,702,2652,2653],"class_list":{"0":"post-81075","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-faith-blog","7":"tag-crisis","8":"tag-emotional-emergencies","9":"tag-faith","10":"tag-grief","11":"tag-one-day-at-a-time","12":"tag-prayer","13":"tag-suffering","14":"tag-survival","15":"tag-trauma","16":"entry","17":"has-post-thumbnail"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":165498,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/coping-with-grief-on-all-souls-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":81075,"position":0},"title":"Coping with Grief on All Souls Day","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"October 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"One week from today, on November 2, 2015, we, the Church, will celebrate All Souls Day. All Souls Day is a time to remember those who have gone before us, a time to pray for them, and to ask them to pray for us. In doing so, we recognize that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Photo taken in Rome by author. 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Then you are left standing in the rubble, mouth agape, and brain spinning with so many thoughts\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"dragged in the sand","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/footprints-550x197.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/footprints-550x197.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/footprints-550x197.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":186756,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/12\/sunrise-dark-faith-advent-brightness-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":81075,"position":2},"title":"Sunrise: through the dark faith of Advent to the brightness of Christmas","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"December 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Traveling through Advent with grief this year has led to me to soul search about what Christmas is, and, in the process, to notice similarities between the journey of Advent into Christmas and the stages of the soul's progression into the heart of God. \u00a0According to Carmelite spirituality, \u00a0the soul\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Faith&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo by Renee Bork","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/12016594_10205918857824426_849206572_n-550x413.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/12016594_10205918857824426_849206572_n-550x413.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/12016594_10205918857824426_849206572_n-550x413.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":365948,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/meditation-emotions-part-ii\/","url_meta":{"origin":81075,"position":3},"title":"Meditation and Emotions (Part II)","author":"Rachel","date":"February 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This is a follow up to my last post, Meditation and Decisive Times, where I attempted to sketch the basics of what it means to meditate on life,\u00a0as a way to grow in love and closeness to God, and a way to help foster a deep and integrated inner life.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/tumblr_n6eszmeQMR1st5lhmo1_1280.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/tumblr_n6eszmeQMR1st5lhmo1_1280.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/tumblr_n6eszmeQMR1st5lhmo1_1280.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/tumblr_n6eszmeQMR1st5lhmo1_1280.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/tumblr_n6eszmeQMR1st5lhmo1_1280.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":151580,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/09\/soul-surving-in-the-wake-of-a-family-suicide\/","url_meta":{"origin":81075,"position":4},"title":"Soul-surviving in the wake of a family suicide","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"September 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Four weeks ago the person who has been closest to me all my life, my brother, Mark, (I just called him \"Brother\" and he called me, \"Sister,\") who was like my other self, committed suicide. 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In context of the time this was written, this section probably didn\u2019t make much sense to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Sunday Says&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sunday Says","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/podcast\/sundaysays\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Sunday Says Podcast","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/SundaySaysPodcast-logo-300x231.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/155"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81075\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}