{"id":50918,"date":"2014-09-02T09:00:36","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T14:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=50918"},"modified":"2014-09-01T23:12:41","modified_gmt":"2014-09-02T04:12:41","slug":"response-nuns-dont-mid-life-crises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/09\/response-nuns-dont-mid-life-crises\/","title":{"rendered":"A Response to &#8220;Why Nuns Don&#8217;t Have Mid-Life Crises&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I probably watch more YouTube videos than I should, and I probably also think about nuns more than your average YouTube video viewer. I love it when those sides of me unite, though.<\/p>\n<p>In my wandering about the Internet, I stumbled across a delightful video from a TEDx talk at Virginia Tech, &#8220;Why Nuns Don&#8217;t Have Mid-Life Crises.&#8221; I was intrigued because I like nuns, I usually like TED and TEDx talks, and I definitely don&#8217;t like mid-life crises (or the quarter-life crisis I&#8217;ve been having lately). So I watched <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=9m5Ek34BROE\">Jenni Sigler&#8217;s 13-minute presentation<\/a> and found myself charmed, emboldened, and maybe a little less lost.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"630\" height=\"355\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/9m5Ek34BROE?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Charming&#8221; is one of those words like &#8220;charismatic&#8221; that you can&#8217;t really use to describe yourself without sounding self-centered. (It&#8217;s hard to be humble when you&#8217;re awesome.) I will do it for Ms. Sigler: she is a charming speaker. Studying communication not only gave her the empirical data behind her assertions, but it clearly taught her how to give a killer presentation. As she explains, she, like me (and perhaps some of you readers) is not a shining example of how to make a good decision. She found several groups of people who were absolutely certain they had made the right decision\u2014and they were all religious sisters. <strong>Nuns have discernment down to an art.<\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_50921\" style=\"width: 295px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-50921\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/14267000334_47a54d547e_k-285x190.jpg?resize=285%2C190\" alt=\"baby_listening\" width=\"285\" height=\"190\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-50921\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-50921\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/meolog\/\">Olaf Meyer<\/a>.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Ask a married couple how they knew they were in love, and you&#8217;ll probably hear a variation on, &#8220;We just knew.&#8221; Nuns &#8220;just know,&#8221; too, but in Sigler&#8217;s research, there was a pattern to finding that knowledge. She offers four steps for discernment:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Embrace silence. When you listen, you will learn to be honest with yourself about what you really want and what will really make you happy.<\/strong> For Christians, this means spending time in prayer\u2014significant time, as in regular periods of a half-hour or hour, not three minutes while you&#8217;re waiting at a long light. Give God the time and space to speak to you if you want to hear him.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p><strong>Recognize a persistent pull. The right decision won&#8217;t let you just walk away from it.<\/strong> God had to call Samuel three times before he figured out who was calling to him, and that was the kind of call you hear with your ears! If you seek the kind of call you hear with your heart, you need to get acquainted with the way your heart moves. What do you <em>want<\/em>? God will give you the desire for what he desires for you.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p><strong>Make the decision, and trust that it will be okay. You will drown in regret if you don&#8217;t give it a chance.<\/strong> If you think you should marry the person you&#8217;re dating, start talking about marriage. If you think you should break up, start preparing to heal. If you think you should get a new job, start mentioning your plans to key contacts. Maybe it&#8217;s a mistake, but maybe this is just the beginning of the best decision you&#8217;ll ever make.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p><strong>Wait until peace and joy arrive, confirming your decision. If you don&#8217;t feel peace about your decision, start over!<\/strong> Until you&#8217;re dead, you can try again. If just the idea of making firm commitments makes you uneasy, take a step back and pray some more. Listen. Happiness comes and goes, but its bedrock is joy, a fruit of the Spirit.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Those four steps made me feel much more confident about my patterns of discernment. I firmly believe that the only way to know if a decision is the right one is to make it (or imagine yourself making it), and then see how you feel about it. The right decision will feel good. The wrong decision will not feel good. You really will &#8220;just know.&#8221; You can trust your gut, your conscience, and the Holy Spirit who has given you new life. I can trust, too!<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps the most enlightening part of Sigler&#8217;s presentation is its broad secular application. She learned about discernment from nuns, but discernment is not just for people who believe in God, as she points out. Another thing I firmly believe is that truth is objective. This process of discernment is an example of that objectivity. It is centered around God. God is the source of all truth, so this way of making decisions is true even for those who don&#8217;t believe in God. Truth is truth.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe I&#8217;m not as lost in my quarter-life crisis as I think I am. Perhaps I just need to continue enjoying the silence and paying attention to what I hear rising from it. <strong>What will you hear when you listen?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I probably watch more YouTube videos than I should, and I probably also think about nuns more than your average YouTube video viewer. I love it when those sides of me unite, though. In my wandering about the Internet, I stumbled across a delightful video from a TEDx talk at Virginia Tech, &#8220;Why Nuns Don&#8217;t&#8230;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/09\/response-nuns-dont-mid-life-crises\/\">[Read&nbsp;More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[90,88,87,91,154],"tags":[796,183,2184,74,2477],"class_list":["post-50918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-faith-blog","category-marriage-blog","category-reviews","category-young-adult","category-youth","tag-communication","tag-discernment","tag-listening","tag-prayer","tag-videos","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49396,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/07\/hope-and-joy-review-light-of-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":50918,"position":0},"title":"Hope and Joy (Review: &#8220;Light of Love&#8221;)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"July 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I love sisters. I have one actual, biological sister, and I love her. I also have an ever-growing number of female friends who have entered consecrated religious life, though, and I love them, too. For the record, I also love my friends who have become priests. I tend to hang\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"acnm_imaginesisters","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/acnm_imaginesisters-550x368.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/acnm_imaginesisters-550x368.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/acnm_imaginesisters-550x368.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15284,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/04\/two-guys-a-girl-and-a-catholic-podcast-episode-50-40-days-for-life-nun-runs-and-ton-o-feedback\/","url_meta":{"origin":50918,"position":1},"title":"Two Guys a Girl and a Catholic Podcast Episode 50: 40 Days for Life, Nun Runs and Ton o&#8217; Feedback","author":"2GGCP","date":"April 20, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Episode 50 [powerpress] Feedback: Lots of feedback Pat Ryan Phil Current Events: Alabama's proposed covenant marriage bill would make divorce more difficult http:\/\/blog.al.com\/wire\/2012\/04\/covenant_marriage_would_make_d.html Nun Run Interview Church News: Registration for the 2012 Catholic New Media Conference is now open! http:\/\/t.co\/0e94OUke Speakers Catholic New Media Conference 2012 Announced! http:\/\/t.co\/EYH4wone Catholic Charities\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Two Guys, a Girl and a Catholic Podcast&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Two Guys, a Girl and a Catholic Podcast","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/podcast\/2guysagirl\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/2GGCP-LOGO2-300x231.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":72536,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/12\/what-do-nuns-do-for-christmas-christmas-among-the-consecrated\/","url_meta":{"origin":50918,"position":2},"title":"&#8220;What do nuns do for Christmas?&#8221; Learning about Consecrated Life","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"December 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 During Advent, I asked the Friars, Priests and Sisters what they do for Christmas in their communities. I called a cloistered Carmelite convent and asked what the nuns do for Christmas. I read accounts in articles and on web sites of Christmas at monasteries. I didn\u2019t really know why\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Faith&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_8023","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/IMG_8023-e1419883703693-127x190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":112702,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/review-loved-as-i-am\/","url_meta":{"origin":50918,"position":3},"title":"The First Steps on the Road (Review: &#8220;Loved As I Am&#8221;)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"May 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"To love is to do what is best for the beloved. Some people are easy to love, especially when we have great affection for them besides. Some people are rather more difficult to love. Consider God's love for us. We rejected him from the very start of humanity, and we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Loved As I Am: A Review at AustinCNM.com","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/acnm_lovedasiam-550x366.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/acnm_lovedasiam-550x366.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/acnm_lovedasiam-550x366.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":124986,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/06\/an-open-letter-to-sr-simone-campbell-of-the-nuns-on-the-bus\/","url_meta":{"origin":50918,"position":4},"title":"An Open Letter to Sr. Simone Campbell (of the Nuns on the Bus)","author":"Rachel","date":"June 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"This blog is in response to an interview\u00a0aired by the radio program On Being, hosted by Krista Tippett, on June 11, 2015. I invite you to listen to the interview before reading this post, and would especially point your attention to the unedited version of the interview. The time stamps\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Faith&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Sister Simone Campbell, left, and Sister Diane Donoghue, right, lead the way as the the \"Nuns on the Bus\" arrive on Capitol Hill in Washington, Monday, July 2, 2012, after a nine-state tour to bring stories of hardship to Congress. Sister Simone Campbell is executive director of Network, a liberal Catholic social justice lobby in Washington. (AP Photo\/J. Scott Applewhite)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/AP120702122892-550x377.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/AP120702122892-550x377.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/AP120702122892-550x377.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":101542,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/03\/review-cs-lewis-and-the-crisis-of-a-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":50918,"position":5},"title":"Biography, Theology, and You (Review: &#8220;C.S. Lewis and the Crisis of a Christian&#8221;)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"March 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I like C.S. Lewis a lot. He wasn't a Catholic, but he was a convert to Anglicanism, and more importantly, he was an incredible writer. I read The Chronicles of Narnia first, but when I entered adulthood, I discovered his apologetics works. I love them so much that I have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Faith&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"\"If we find the gospel message to be true, we need to surrender to God and change our lives. For that reason\u2014whether or not the [C.S. Lewis] trilemma or some form of it works\u2014many will still never assent that Jesus is God.\" \u2014Gregory S. Cootsona","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/acnm_lewiscrisis.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50918","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50918"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50918\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50918"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50918"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50918"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}