{"id":458377,"date":"2017-08-20T18:27:11","date_gmt":"2017-08-20T23:27:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/?p=458377"},"modified":"2017-08-20T22:58:41","modified_gmt":"2017-08-21T03:58:41","slug":"masculine-spirituality-thrives-brotherhood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2017\/08\/masculine-spirituality-thrives-brotherhood\/","title":{"rendered":"Masculine Spirituality Thrives in Brotherhood"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Pier Giorgio Frassati and friends<\/p><\/div>\n

Adult men often have a difficult time making friends. It’s easy to have passive relationships with coworkers, guys at the gym, or even at church, but intentional friendship takes work. This is true for both men and women, but my focus here will be particular to men.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

Deep Connections Aren\u2019t Accidental<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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Bl. Pier Giorgio and friends<\/p><\/div>\n

It’s easy to feel like we’re interacting with people while never going beyond talking about sports, family activities, current events, or the weather. Even in a time when we are connected more through technology, we are connecting less in more personal ways. <\/span>Loneliness<\/span><\/a> is a real issue, and it happens at all stages of <\/span>becoming and being an adult<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t take much effort to maintain acquaintances and familiarity with people we see on a regular basis, but limiting all relationships to that level won\u2019t bring fulfillment. It takes work, even sacrifices, to go deeper with the people in our life. Sadly, our jaded experiences can discourage us to invest so much into a relationship. It\u2019s a risk when we\u2019re unsure of the investment others are willing to give or if it\u2019s going to work.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

Friendship Goals<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Friendship can still sound somewhat intangible, but there are some good ideas proposed about how to define friendship. Aristotle has a good explanation of how he separated friendship into 3 categories. In his philosophy, friendship requires these elements:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTo be friends therefore, men must (1) feel goodwill for each other, that is, wish each other\u2019s good, and (2) be aware of each other\u2019s goodwill, and (3) the cause of their goodwill must be one of the lovable qualities mentioned above\u201d (<\/span>Nicomachean Ethics<\/span><\/a>)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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Pier Giorgio and friends in 1925<\/p><\/div>\n

He also expands on the 3 common levels of friendship.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Friendship of Utility –<\/strong> \u201cThus friends whose affection is based on utility do not love each other in themselves, but in so far as some benefit accrues to them from each other\u2026 Men love their friend for their own good\u2026 and not as being the person loved, but as useful or agreeable.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Friendship of Pleasure –<\/strong> \u201cAnd similarly with those whose friendship is based on pleasure: for instance, we enjoy the society of witty people not because of what they are in themselves, but because they are agreeable to us.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Friendship of the Good<\/strong> – \u201cThe perfect form of friendship is that between the good, and those who resemble each other in virtue. For these friends wish each alike the other\u2019s good in respect of their goodness, and they are good in themselves; but it is those who wish the good of their friends for their friends\u2019 sake who are friends in the fullest sense, since they love each other for themselves and not accidentally. Hence the friendship of these lasts as long as they continue to be good; and virtue is a permanent quality. And each is good relatively to his friend as well as absolutely, since the good are both good absolutely and profitable to each other. And each is pleasant in both ways also, since good men are pleasant both absolutely and to each other; for everyone is pleased by his own actions, and therefore by actions that resemble his own, and the actions of all good men are the same or similar.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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    Meeting of St Francis and St Dominic – Fra Angelico<\/p><\/div>\n

    <\/h3>\n

    Strong Friendships are Rare<\/strong><\/h3>\n

    We all long for a deeper connection, but our American culture has long discouraged men from being too open or vulnerable. Keeping everything bottled in for the sake of looking strong and unphased by struggles. As much as many of us would love the ability to encounter life without issues, it\u2019s not possible for humans to get through this alone. <\/span><\/p>\n

    It\u2019s essential for men to live in brotherhood to become the best version of ourselves. When a man can trust other men, spiritual brothers can support each other through the trials, celebrate achievements, and to constantly encourage fidelity to our word and mission.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
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    Sts Ignatius of Loyola and Francis Xavier<\/p><\/div>\n

    \u201cSuch friendships are of course rare, because such men are few. Moreover they require time and intimacy\u2026 people who enter into friendly relations quickly have the wish to be friends, but cannot really be friends without being worthy of friendship, and also knowing each other to be so; the wish to be friends is a quick growth, but friendship is not.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

     <\/p>\n

    <\/h3>\n

    Women Can\u2019t Replace the Men In Our Lives<\/strong><\/h3>\n

    When it becomes too difficult to create or sustain spiritual brotherhood in our lives, men sometimes try to fill the void with the women in their life. Regardless of what\u2019s said in movies and books, a significant other can never complete us because they are only human too. We all fall short of that standard.<\/span><\/p>\n

    It\u2019s too much pressure on these incredible women to be our partners and our friends. Women complement men in a unique and important way, but even when a man has an incredible partner, friends play an irreplaceable role in our community.<\/span><\/p>\n

    It\u2019s understandable when a man\u2019s partner is unsure of what to think of his relationship with spiritual brothers. When a man has a good friend and community, everyone in his life benefits. Even if it seems counterintuitive, giving space and time for him to build this community will allow him to grow to be a better man and partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

    <\/h3>\n

    A Lack of Brotherhood Hurts the Church<\/strong><\/h3>\n

    The Church has a notable lack of masculine participation. Many of the issues happening today are because many men are not living to the best of their potential to build strong communities and stable families. Many of the ways that we have approached evangelization in the past also tended to be through feminine approaches to ministry that isn\u2019t attractive to many men.<\/span><\/p>\n

    My personal opinion is that additional parish programming will not solve the issue, even if it\u2019s well targeted towards men. These men oriented events are usually targeted at men that already have at least some relationship with Jesus and\/or the Church, but this won\u2019t appeal to the average male. In order to reach an empower more men, it has to be done on a personal level.<\/span><\/p>\n

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    John Paul II on hike with other men<\/p><\/div>\n

    We have to form small communities that foster opportunities for brotherhood. This will usually need to start with similar interests or goals to facilitate connections between men that don\u2019t know each other well. From there, men that know how it is to be in such a community can form their own band of brothers as the circumstances in life change.<\/span><\/p>\n

    While the physical and practical sides of life are important, our spiritual lives are essential to our personal growth. Masculine spirituality thrives in <\/span>brotherhood<\/span><\/a>, and struggles in isolation because we were made for community. Together, we can have a lasting impact in our families and communities.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Adult men often have a difficult time making friends. It’s easy to have passive relationships with coworkers, guys at the gym, or even at church, but intentional friendship takes work. This is true for both men and women, but my focus here will be particular to men. Deep Connections Aren\u2019t Accidental It’s easy to feel… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[2886,1442,189,3376,859],"class_list":["post-458377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","tag-community","tag-masculine","tag-men","tag-spiritual-brotherhood","tag-spirituality","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t