{"id":45272,"date":"2014-04-10T07:59:48","date_gmt":"2014-04-10T12:59:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=45272"},"modified":"2014-04-06T18:43:57","modified_gmt":"2014-04-06T23:43:57","slug":"four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-non-judgmental-warmth-welcome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/04\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-non-judgmental-warmth-welcome\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: A Non-Judgmental Warmth and Welcome"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Pope<\/a>Judge not, that you be not judged\u00a0<\/em>(Matthew 7:1)<\/p>\n

The last attitude of evangelism laid out by Pope Francis is a non-judgmental warmth and welcome. \u00a0As parents, our children need to know that we love them regardless of what they do. \u00a0They need to know that they can come to us about anything and that they will be welcomed warmly and without fear of judgment. \u00a0Evangelism requires dialogue between two people regarding real issues in life – issues like having sex outside of marriage, or becoming pregnant outside of wedlock, or addictions to alcohol, drugs, or video games, etc.. \u00a0The Good News, the Gospel, needs to be communicated as being relevant to what they experience themselves or to what they see others experience. \u00a0And, indeed, it is<\/em> relevant.<\/p>\n

If we become known to our children as being judgmental, they may be afraid to come to us when they find themselves being attracted to something (or worse yet, in the middle of something) that they know we have already condemned. \u00a0As such, our children can find themselves secluded in the family with no one to whom to turn in order to discuss the problem, fearing that mom and dad would judge them. \u00a0No parent wants that. \u00a0So, here are a few thoughts on how to cultivate a non-judgmental , warm, and welcoming attitude:<\/p>\n

1. \u00a0Always differentiate between the sinner and the sin.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0Not being judgmental does not mean not judging actions. \u00a0We must judge actions – ours and others – in light of the truth, in light of the Gospel. \u00a0Right and Wrong, Good and Evil can bet attributed to an action. \u00a0Actions can be judged. \u00a0However, we ought to hold off judging a person. \u00a0We can say that an act is objectively wrong or evil. \u00a0However, we can’t carry it a step further and say that a person is evil because of his or her actions. \u00a0Love the sinner. \u00a0Hate the sin. \u00a0So, how does the look in our parenting? \u00a0First, at appropriate times and at appropriate ages, we should talk about events from current events, from history, or from movies we watch. \u00a0Discuss actions of certain people in light of what is true, good, and beautiful. \u00a0Judge the actions. \u00a0Then, ask the question, “will that person go to hell for what they did?” \u00a0Point out that we cannot make that judgment because we don’t know the background from which those people came. \u00a0What needs to be conveyed is that we still love the person in spite of the sin. \u00a0If they know we are like this with others, they will hopefully know that we will be like this with them. \u00a0In order to reinforce this, frequently ask them if they know that there is nothing that they could do that would make us stop loving them.<\/p>\n

2. \u00a0Desire, with God, that all people be saved, particularly sinners.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0St. Paul puts it this way: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” (I Timothy 1:15). \u00a0He follows with this: “God our Savior \u2026 desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (I Timothy 2:4). \u00a0If we judge a person and believe that that person may be headed towards hell, our response should be to imitate Jesus and form our desire in union with God’s desire – that all might be saved. \u00a0We should reach out to sinners in love. \u00a0As parents, we need to make sure that our children know we are sinners. \u00a0That we fail too. \u00a0They also need to know that we trust in and rely upon God’s mercy. \u00a0So, frequent the sacrament of Reconciliation and Penance to make the point. \u00a0Go as a family to a service during Lent.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0Be known as someone who always tends to give others the benefit of the doubt.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0When given a situation where someone’s actions – one of your children’s friends, someone in the news, etc. – are wrong, respond by providing a possible reason that may excuse the person – for example, point to their family of origin or their lack of resources or education. \u00a0If we’re known for this with other people and we remind them that we love them more than these others, they have evidence that they will not be judged by their parents and that they will be welcomed warmly.<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0Avoid imagining the intentions behind people’s actions or words.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0This can cause problems for all of us. \u00a0More often than not we are mistaken about one’s intentions. \u00a0Even more, as we begin to apply these intentions to the situation, we often increase our anger at the person. \u00a0Our imaginings lead us to greater judgment of the person. \u00a0If we avoid it, we will be more welcoming. \u00a0Again, this example provides our children with further evidence that we will not be judgmental of them whenever they have a problem.<\/p>\n

If we work on these four things together with our children, we will move toward what Pope Francis calls a non-judgmental warmth and welcome. \u00a0We will move closer to living out Evangelical Parenthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Judge not, that you be not judged\u00a0(Matthew 7:1) The last attitude of evangelism laid out by Pope Francis is a non-judgmental warmth and welcome. \u00a0As parents, our children need to know that we love them regardless of what they do. \u00a0They need to know that they can come to us about anything and that they… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":157,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,671],"tags":[476,2258,1645,325],"class_list":{"0":"post-45272","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-acnm","7":"category-column","8":"tag-confession","9":"tag-evangelical-parenthood","10":"tag-judgment","11":"tag-mercy","12":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43618,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood\/","url_meta":{"origin":45272,"position":0},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"January 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Parents are called to evangelize their children - to be evangelical parents. \u00a0Yet, all too frequently many of us fail to answer the call to share the \"Good News\" with them because we never preach the Gospel to our children. \u00a0We leave that to the priest in the Sunday homily\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":44596,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/03\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-patience-part-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":45272,"position":1},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: Patience – Part 4","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"March 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The third attitude of evangelical parenthood is patience. \u00a0As we write this, we've just returned from a stint at the grocery store - one that we thought was going to be 30 minutes. \u00a0An hour and a half later, we've just put up the last of the groceries. \u00a0And \u2026.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":337604,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/12\/merry-tolerance\/","url_meta":{"origin":45272,"position":2},"title":"Merry Tolerance","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"December 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"While my bread is rising I feel like talking about what I was thinking about while I was kneading. I was thinking about the \"Keep Christ In Christmas\" thing. I think that as a friendly reminder to fellow Christians not to get caught up in the shopping, social obligations, travel\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/14265065_1056925434423946_2384803780469055458_n-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43762,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/02\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-approachability-part-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":45272,"position":3},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: Approachability – Part 2","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"February 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"In order to answer our parental vocation to evangelize our children, Pope Francis says we must be approachable to our kids. \u00a0We must develop and cultivate an attitude of approachability. \u00a0As a parent, you want your children coming to you to ask difficult questions, right?! \u00a0After all, if they don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":44094,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/03\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-readiness-dialogue-part-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":45272,"position":4},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: Readiness for Dialogue – Part 3","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"March 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The second attitude of Evangelical Parenthood lies in a readiness for dialogue. \u00a0All too often, as a parent, we can be \"preachy\". \u00a0That is, we desire to control any conversation to the extent that there may be a difference of opinion or lack of time. \u00a0We, some of us more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":190019,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/01\/street-evangelization-in-austin\/","url_meta":{"origin":45272,"position":5},"title":"Street Evangelization in Austin","author":"Robert Lindberg","date":"January 8, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently, I attended training for street evangelization. At the end of the training class, we went out into downtown Austin to put this into practice. This experience reminds me of a middle school dance. It all started with spending the day learning to dance. We went through the mechanics and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Social Justice"","block_context":{"text":"Social Justice","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/social-justice\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Photo by Larry D. Moore CC BY-SA 3.0.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Sixth_Street_Austin-550x413.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Sixth_Street_Austin-550x413.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Sixth_Street_Austin-550x413.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/157"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45272"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45272\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}