{"id":43762,"date":"2014-02-13T07:51:45","date_gmt":"2014-02-13T13:51:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=43762"},"modified":"2014-02-18T15:28:55","modified_gmt":"2014-02-18T21:28:55","slug":"four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-approachability-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/02\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-approachability-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: Approachability – Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Pope<\/a>In order to answer our parental vocation to evangelize our children, Pope Francis says we must be approachable to our kids. \u00a0We must develop and cultivate an attitude of approachability. \u00a0As a parent, you want your children coming to you to ask difficult questions, right?! \u00a0After all, if they don’t come to you, to whom will they go? \u00a0They may go to friends, or to the internet, or to television, or to “God only knows where else” to find answers. \u00a0In fact, whether we like it or not – whether we’re approachable or not, they may go to those sources of information and advice anyway. \u00a0So, \u00a0particularly<\/em> if they do<\/em> go elsewhere, we really<\/em> want them to come to us. \u00a0We want them to “approach” us for answers to tough questions. \u00a0So, what can I do as a parent to become more approachable?<\/p>\n

1. \u00a0First, recognize when you are being approached<\/strong>. \u00a0Many times we miss the times when they are asking. \u00a0We need to recognize those windows of opportunity that open up with a simple question that leaves them vulnerable. \u00a0For example, “Daddy, am I pretty?” or “Momma, how did you know that daddy was the one?” are questions that frequently come from deeper, even more intimate questions that remain unasked. \u00a0If you brush them off or simply answer them factually – i.e. “of course, your pretty, honey”, you are missing the opportunity. \u00a0You didn’t recognize being approached. \u00a0Become characterized like this in the eyes of your children, and soon they will stop approaching you.<\/p>\n

2. \u00a0Second, be known as a listener first<\/strong>. \u00a0Resist the urge to respond to quickly. \u00a0Listen to their questions, but also listen to the questions behind their questions. \u00a0You need to forget the next chore, the next event, the next whatever, and focus with both eyes and both ears to the child who comes to you. \u00a0Make sure that your body is in a posture that says, “I’m listening to you and you alone right now.” \u00a0Many people who met Blessed Teresa of Calcutta have been heard to say, that when you spoke to her, you felt like you were the only person in the world. \u00a0If you were talking, she looked at you in the eye and nodded, questioned, expressed concern. \u00a0She treated you like no one else and nothing else existed. \u00a0As parents, we should pray for the grace to attend to our children this way.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0Third, ask questions<\/strong>. \u00a0As parents, we need to clarify what they’re really asking. \u00a0We have a friend who had his 8 year old ask him what sex was. \u00a0After his initial panic, he calmed down and simply asked, “Why are you asking?” \u00a0The child pulled out a form he was filling out. \u00a0In the top left hand corner box, the child pointed to a section of the form that was entitled “SEX”. \u00a0Then he said, “Dad, below it has an “M” and an “F”, which one should I check. \u00a0Sometimes, kids are not asking what we think they’re asking. \u00a0So, ask questions to clarify.<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0Fourth, provide information.<\/strong> \u00a0Provide them with something to “chew” on, so to speak – preferably without providing an answer to their question. \u00a0For example, when asked by one of \u00a0our sons if he thought dating in the early years of high school was ok, instead of providing a “yes” or “no” answer, Trey spoke about his high school girl friend and how much he thought that he was “in love” with her. \u00a0He then proceeded to explain that he and his girl friend had been good friends before they dated, and that, after the break-up, they were no longer friends. \u00a0He spoke of the fact that he looks back and thinks about the friend that he lost because of dating to soon. \u00a0As you might imagine, the conversation grew from there.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0Fifth, help him think through the situation<\/strong>. \u00a0 What we’re wanting to accomplish is for the children to come to the right answer to the question themselves. \u00a0We want them to own it. \u00a0Not to feel like it is imposed from outside. \u00a0To clarify, as parents, we have the right and authority (and sometimes the need) to put our foot down – to say “because I told you so.” \u00a0If a child is playing in the street and a car is approaching (no pun intended), we don’t need to be worried about our attitude of approachability. \u00a0We need to run out there and get the child out of the road. \u00a0However, we need to evaluate each situation and always try to avoid, if possible, “because I said so.” \u00a0We should be known for “proposing” instead of for “imposing”. \u00a0If we we do that, then they will come to us with other problems in the future. \u00a0If we do that, the answer will be their own and will “stick” more readily. \u00a0If we do that, we will have shown them that we have an attitude of approachability.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In order to answer our parental vocation to evangelize our children, Pope Francis says we must be approachable to our kids. \u00a0We must develop and cultivate an attitude of approachability. \u00a0As a parent, you want your children coming to you to ask difficult questions, right?! \u00a0After all, if they don’t come to you, to whom… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":157,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[671],"tags":[55,1905,51,127,2107,62,50,2890,81,165,1505,2189,2188],"class_list":{"0":"post-43762","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-column","7":"tag-catholic-2","8":"tag-catholic-parenthood","9":"tag-catholicism","10":"tag-children","11":"tag-christian-parenthood","12":"tag-evangelization","13":"tag-faith","14":"tag-family","15":"tag-marriage","16":"tag-parenting","17":"tag-pope-francis","18":"tag-practical-parenting-tips","19":"tag-purposeful-parenthood","20":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43618,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood\/","url_meta":{"origin":43762,"position":0},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"January 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Parents are called to evangelize their children - to be evangelical parents. \u00a0Yet, all too frequently many of us fail to answer the call to share the \"Good News\" with them because we never preach the Gospel to our children. \u00a0We leave that to the priest in the Sunday homily\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45272,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/04\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-non-judgmental-warmth-welcome\/","url_meta":{"origin":43762,"position":1},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: A Non-Judgmental Warmth and Welcome","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"April 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Judge not, that you be not judged\u00a0(Matthew 7:1) The last attitude of evangelism laid out by Pope Francis is a non-judgmental warmth and welcome. \u00a0As parents, our children need to know that we love them regardless of what they do. \u00a0They need to know that they can come to us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ACNM"","block_context":{"text":"ACNM","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":44094,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/03\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-readiness-dialogue-part-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":43762,"position":2},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: Readiness for Dialogue – Part 3","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"March 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The second attitude of Evangelical Parenthood lies in a readiness for dialogue. \u00a0All too often, as a parent, we can be \"preachy\". \u00a0That is, we desire to control any conversation to the extent that there may be a difference of opinion or lack of time. \u00a0We, some of us more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":41875,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/10\/pope-francis-and-parenthood\/","url_meta":{"origin":43762,"position":3},"title":"5 Things Pope Francis Can Teach Parents About Parenthood – Part 1 of 6","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"October 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Pope Francis has taught us quite a bit about parenthood. \u00a0In word and deed and in just the first six months as \"Papa\", his words and his actions have taught us and can teach any parent something about raising children. \u00a0Today, we'd like to share some of what we've learned\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis and Holy Spirit","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Pope-Francis-and-HS-300x221.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":42252,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/11\/part-3-6-pope-francis-parenthood-questions\/","url_meta":{"origin":43762,"position":4},"title":"Part 3 of 6 – Pope Francis, Parenthood, and Questions","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"November 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Another important tool for parents that we have learned from Pope Francis is the use of questions in our parenting. \u00a0In his interview with an atheist, when asked a question, Pope Francis responded with a question on several occasions. \u00a0We, as parents, can learn from this. \u00a0Questions are frequently\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ACNM"","block_context":{"text":"ACNM","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Pope-Francis-010-300x180.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":44596,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/03\/four-attitudes-evangelical-parenthood-patience-part-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":43762,"position":5},"title":"Four Attitudes of Evangelical Parenthood: Patience – Part 4","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"March 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The third attitude of evangelical parenthood is patience. \u00a0As we write this, we've just returned from a stint at the grocery store - one that we thought was going to be 30 minutes. \u00a0An hour and a half later, we've just put up the last of the groceries. \u00a0And \u2026.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8562320076_7962a945e8_o-241x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43762","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/157"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43762"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43762\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}