{"id":43405,"date":"2014-01-16T07:58:17","date_gmt":"2014-01-16T13:58:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=43405"},"modified":"2014-01-16T10:19:28","modified_gmt":"2014-01-16T16:19:28","slug":"disciplinarian-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/disciplinarian-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You the &#8220;Disciplinarian&#8221; in Your Family?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/army-discipline.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7464\" alt=\"army discipline\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/army-discipline-300x201.jpg?resize=300%2C201\" width=\"300\" height=\"201\" \/><\/a>The description of someone as a &#8220;disciplinarian&#8221; carries certain connotations. \u00a0Typically, the &#8220;disciplinarian&#8221; in the family is considered to be the person who administers punishment, who is considered the more strict of the parents. \u00a0You may remember when you were a child hearing your mother say (after disobeying her or talking back) something along the lines of &#8220;wait til your father gets home&#8221;. \u00a0A certain amount of fear comes with those words. \u00a0In most circles, that person, the person who causes fear, tends to be considered the &#8220;disciplinarian&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Yet, we&#8217;d like to challenge all of us to take a broader view of discipline and of being \u00a0a &#8220;disciplinarian&#8221;, a more Catholic view. \u00a0Bottom line, all parents are called to be disciplinarians. \u00a0As veterans of parenthood (not experts), we receive questions regarding &#8220;discipline&#8221; quite frequently. \u00a0Usually, they revolve around asking for &#8220;tricks of the trade&#8221; that the parents could use to get their children to behave well at Mass, to share with other children, to pick up after themselves &#8211; that is, to do something that the child should be doing, but isn&#8217;t. \u00a0Frequently, the parent wants a quick fix, which usually is assumed to be some form of punishment. \u00a0However, discipline and being a disciplinarian means way more than knowing when, where, and how to use a &#8220;time out&#8221; or a spanking or a grounding.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, a disciplinarian is a teacher. \u00a0If God has given you children, then you are called to be a teacher, a disciplinarian. \u00a0We get the word discipline from the same word that we get the word &#8220;disciple&#8221;. \u00a0That word has to do with being a &#8220;pupil&#8221;, a student. \u00a0Our children are our disciples, our pupils, our students. \u00a0We are our children&#8217;s first and primary teachers &#8211; their disciplinarians if you will. \u00a0In order to fulfill this calling, we need to know a few things that will make us better teachers, better disciplinarians.<\/p>\n<p>1. \u00a0<em><strong>Source &#8211; good teachers recognize that they are passing on something they learned from somewhere else.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0As parents, Christ and His Bride, our Mother are the source of all we need to be good parents &#8211; truth and grace. \u00a0The source of our calling and of the strength to fulfill that calling come from Jesus. \u00a0So, pray, read the Bible, draw close to the One who has called you to be a parent and disciplinarian.<\/p>\n<p>2. <em><strong>Content &#8211; good teachers know the content.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0You cannot pass onto your children what you don&#8217;t have. \u00a0Trey cannot teach Calculus because he hasn&#8217;t studied the content. \u00a0So, get involved in an adult faith formation program, buy some CDs from Catholic Answers and listen to them in the car, or read the Catechism.<\/p>\n<p>3. \u00a0<em><strong>Delivery &#8211; good teachers learn from other good teachers on how and when to deliver the content.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0Join or form a group of like-minded parents to discuss your struggles and ask for advice. \u00a0Find older parents who you respect and ask for advice. \u00a0Then, take what fits you and your spouse and begin to apply it to your parenting.<\/p>\n<p>4. \u00a0<em><strong>Correction &#8211; good teachers allow their students to apply what they&#8217;ve learned and to make mistakes.<\/strong> <\/em>\u00a0So, look for opportunities to allow your children to practice what you&#8217;ve taught them. \u00a0And, if they make a mistake, show them by modeling or doing it with them in order that they might learn. \u00a0Make the correction with great love.<\/p>\n<p>5. <em><strong>\u00a0Encouragement &#8211; good teachers find opportunities to praise their students.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0When they do something well or when they do something they should without your having to remind them, make sure you notice and that you encourage them. \u00a0This will go further than punishment or negative consequences. \u00a0Never miss an opportunity to find them doing something well.<\/p>\n<p>Our challenge to you is to pick one of these, one that you are not doing well or \u00a0not doing at all, and make a commitment today to do it for the next 30 days. \u00a0Embrace the role of disciplinarian and see the difference it makes in your family. \u00a0God bless us all!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The description of someone as a &#8220;disciplinarian&#8221; carries certain connotations. \u00a0Typically, the &#8220;disciplinarian&#8221; in the family is considered to be the person who administers punishment, who is considered the more strict of the parents. \u00a0You may remember when you were a child hearing your mother say (after disobeying her or talking back) something along the&#8230;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/disciplinarian-family\/\">[Read&nbsp;More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":157,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[671],"tags":[55,51,127,373,2890,165,74],"class_list":["post-43405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-column","tag-catholic-2","tag-catholicism","tag-children","tag-discipline","tag-family","tag-parenting","tag-prayer","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":304644,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/10\/hat-tip-holy-ghost-writer\/","url_meta":{"origin":43405,"position":0},"title":"A Hat Tip to the Holy Ghost Writer","author":"Adam Shaivitz","date":"October 12, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"If you like this story, you can thank the Holy Spirit. As I\u2019ve learned so many times since discovering my faith 11 years ago, there is no such thing as a coincidence. Whenever my monthly deadline to write for ATX Catholic approaches, I frequently turn to the Holy Spirit and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"holyspirit","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/holyspirit-550x691.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/holyspirit-550x691.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/holyspirit-550x691.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":116031,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/a-response-to-should-children-make-up-their-own-minds-about-religion\/","url_meta":{"origin":43405,"position":1},"title":"A Response to &#8220;Should Children Make Up Their Own Minds About Religion?&#8221;","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"May 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I did not grow up in church. 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And what does it mean to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/The-American-Personality.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/The-American-Personality.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/The-American-Personality.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/The-American-Personality.png?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":189665,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/12\/review-into-the-breach\/","url_meta":{"origin":43405,"position":3},"title":"A Clarion Call to Catholic Men (Review: &#8220;Into the Breach&#8221;)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"December 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Although I am not a man, nor am I married to one, I greatly enjoy reading about Catholic men's spirituality. 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