{"id":42971,"date":"2013-12-19T08:19:45","date_gmt":"2013-12-19T14:19:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=42971"},"modified":"2013-12-19T10:00:37","modified_gmt":"2013-12-19T16:00:37","slug":"pope-francis-parenthood-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/12\/pope-francis-parenthood-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Pope Francis, Parenthood, and Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Pope<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The end of our parenting should be to build relationships with our children. \u00a0Without a relationship, teaching, questioning, admitting, and giving example – the topics addressed in the previous columns – become less effective. \u00a0This is part of the point the Pope Francis has been trying to make with regard to dealing with people who live lives contrary to the faith. \u00a0If we want to deliver the truth to people about abortion, contraception, marriage, etc., we will be most effective within the context of a strong, loving relationship. \u00a0So, relationship is both the end towards which we should strive and the context within which the delivery of the truth most effectively occurs. \u00a0Parents must always keep this end in mind as they parent. \u00a0Below are five things to keep in mind when striving for this end with our children:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Invite<\/strong> your children into a relationship with Christ first. \u00a0Being a Christian hinges more on being in a relationship with a Person – Jesus Christ – than it does on following rules. \u00a0Continually remind your children that Jesus loves them, that He has a plan for their lives, and that He speaks to them. \u00a0Invite them to give themselves to Jesus. \u00a0Help them with the words in the form of a prayer. \u00a0Something like, “Jesus, I know you love me. \u00a0You died on the cross for me so that I can be with you forever. \u00a0Please accept the gift of myself in return. \u00a0Jesus, I give you myself – all that I am and all that I have – all my gifts and talents, all my weaknesses. \u00a0I give you me. \u00a0Do with me what you will.” \u00a0Make it your own. \u00a0Make it their own. \u00a0The point here is to remember that Jesus is the foundation of all meaningful, loving, and lasting relationships. \u00a0Without Him, our relationship with our children will never be all that it could be.<\/li>\n
  2. Spend\u00a0<\/strong>time with your children. \u00a0Get down on the floor and play house with your daughter. \u00a0Play catch with your son. \u00a0In other words, invite them into a relationship with you. \u00a0Let them know that you want to spend time with them. \u00a0Give them yourselves – body and soul. \u00a0When they are younger, go to their room for 15 minutes to play. \u00a0No agenda. \u00a0Keep it simple. \u00a0Just spend time together. \u00a0When they are older, make date nights with your kids. \u00a0Just go get an ice cream together. \u00a0Take a walk together. \u00a0Pray that the Holy Spirit will lead the conversation. \u00a0Then, let Him lead. \u00a0Nothing at all may come up. \u00a0In other cases, particularly if done regularly, they may ask you a question. \u00a0Spending time together on a regular basis is the point here. \u00a0So, make this a priority.<\/li>\n
  3. Listen<\/strong> to them and listen to the Holy Spirit. \u00a0We, as parents, can spend too much time talking. \u00a0A question they ask with the help of the Holy Spirit may be the opportunity given to us to teach, to question, to admit. \u00a0Your daughter may ask you, “Am I pretty?” \u00a0Your son may ask, “how did you know that mom was the one?” \u00a0Those are openings. \u00a0Listen to the underlying issue as directed by the Holy Spirit. \u00a0Be slow to speak in response. \u00a0Listen.<\/li>\n
  4. Speak<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>carefully with your children. \u00a0If they make themselves vulnerable through a question, tread carefully. \u00a0Make sure that the result of your speaking is that your child says to herself, “I can talk to mom about stuff and not get hurt or lectured”. \u00a0As parents, we really want to make sure that our kids will come back to us time and again for advice. \u00a0We joke that we know that when they get older they will seek advice from many sources. \u00a0They will have a list – friends, books, etc.. \u00a0We just want to make sure that we’re on their list of sources. \u00a0How we speak – what we say and how we say it – will determine if we make the cut. \u00a0So, speak carefully.<\/li>\n
  5. Rules\u00a0<\/strong>and relationship go together. \u00a0Make sure your children know that rules exist within relationships for the benefit of all. \u00a0However, rules become easier to follow within a personal relationship. \u00a0Our children need to know that if we have a rule, it is for their benefit, for their good. \u00a0The stronger the relationship, the easier it is for them to believe that. \u00a0Within that relationship, we, as parents, need to be willing to explain the reason for the rules from the viewpoint of the child. \u00a0One way to convey this is to ask them why they think a particular rule exists. \u00a0Let them begin to see that there is a reason behind the rule and that the primary reason is for their well being.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If we keep these five things in mind as we raise our children, we will find over time that we can more easily address the tougher issues and the Catholic teaching on those issues – sexuality, abortion, contraception, etc. – because we took time to talk about “less important things” together. \u00a0We built a relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      The end of our parenting should be to build relationships with our children. \u00a0Without a relationship, teaching, questioning, admitting, and giving example – the topics addressed in the previous columns – become less effective. \u00a0This is part of the point the Pope Francis has been trying to make with regard to dealing with people… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":157,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[671],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-42971","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-column","7":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41875,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/10\/pope-francis-and-parenthood\/","url_meta":{"origin":42971,"position":0},"title":"5 Things Pope Francis Can Teach Parents About Parenthood – Part 1 of 6","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"October 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Pope Francis has taught us quite a bit about parenthood. \u00a0In word and deed and in just the first six months as \"Papa\", his words and his actions have taught us and can teach any parent something about raising children. \u00a0Today, we'd like to share some of what we've learned\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis and Holy Spirit","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Pope-Francis-and-HS-300x221.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":42494,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/11\/part-4-6-pope-francis-parenthood-importance-admission\/","url_meta":{"origin":42971,"position":1},"title":"Part 4 of 6 – Pope Francis, Parenthood, and the Importance of Admission","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"November 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them. 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As we follow our Pope in all his tweets and homilies, and that beautiful and authentic interview released last week, and how the media responds, etc, let's take a break from the sound-byte surfing and dive back in to the deep end -\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI and Pope Francis collaborated together to write Lumen Fidei","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/21792b58272b11e397c822000a1f8f8e_7.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":42043,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/10\/parenting-example\/","url_meta":{"origin":42971,"position":3},"title":"Pope Francis and Parenting by Example – Part 2 of 6","author":"Trey and Stephanie Cashion","date":"October 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. \u00a0(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2223) From the beginning of his pontificate, Pope Francis has led by example. \u00a0He has put flesh on the message, so to speak. \u00a0He as our \"Papa\" has taken ideas, concepts, and truths\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "ACNM"","block_context":{"text":"ACNM","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope-Francis","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Pope-Francis1-300x187.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":40799,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/07\/pope-francis-homily-to-seminarians-novices-and-young-people-discerning-their-vocations\/","url_meta":{"origin":42971,"position":4},"title":"Pope Francis Homily to Seminarians, Novices and Young People Discerning their Vocations","author":"Henry Cuellar","date":"July 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou know well enough that Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, nor even at their difficulty, but at the love with which we do them.\u201d -St. Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church On Sunday July 7th, Pope Francis celebrated the Holy Sacrifice\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pope Francis and Holy Spirit","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Pope-Francis-and-HS-300x221.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":129104,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/everything-is-connected-the-ecological-spirituality-of-laudato-si\/","url_meta":{"origin":42971,"position":5},"title":"“Everything is Connected” – The Ecological Spirituality of Laudato Si","author":"Rachel","date":"August 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Everything is connected.\" This phrase of Pope Francis could be the link\u00a0that ties the whole of \"Laudato Si\" together and also communicates the core of his message. \"Everything is connected,\" he says, in such a way that as humans and the earth are a part of the same ecological\u00a0fabric, our\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Berthold Furtmeyr, The Tree of Death and Life, 1481. 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