{"id":40885,"date":"2013-07-25T12:58:34","date_gmt":"2013-07-25T17:58:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=40885"},"modified":"2013-07-25T12:58:34","modified_gmt":"2013-07-25T17:58:34","slug":"conversations-i-dont-have","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/07\/conversations-i-dont-have\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversations I Don’t Have"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"papalfacepalm-nfp\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When people find out that you have four kids, they often say strange things to you.\u00a0 Sometimes they try to “justify” why they have fewer children, which always seems to reveal some regret or disappointment in their past.\u00a0 Other times, they make you feel like you’re crazy.<\/p>\n

In an effort to keep things happy and civil, I usually brush it off.\u00a0 I know that people mean well. But, I’ll admit, there are extensions of these conversations that happen in my head, some of which I’ve captured below.\u00a0 These are all in good fun.\u00a0 They’re not to pick on anyone and, in fact, there are about one hundred more that I could have captured based on weird things people have said to us.<\/p>\n

The Conversation I Have Often Had<\/strong><\/p>\n

New acquaintance: So, Chris, do you have any kids?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes. We have four kids.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Wow, four kids. Really? You don\u2019t look old enough to have four kids.<\/p>\n

Me: Thank you.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: So… have you figured out what\u2019s causing that?<\/p>\n

Me: [laughs politely] I think we\u2019re narrowing it down…<\/p>\n

Conversation I\u2019d like to Have #1 <\/strong><\/p>\n

New acquaintance: So, Chris, do you have any kids?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes. We have four kids.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Wow, four kids. Really? You don\u2019t look old enough to have four kids.<\/p>\n

Me: Thank you.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: So… have you figured out what\u2019s causing that?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes, but my kids are so amazing I feel like I\u2019d be depriving the world of more awesome by not having more.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Well, two was enough for me. I got \u201csnipped.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: Ouch. You couldn\u2019t practice self-control instead?<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: My wife didn\u2019t want to take any chances.<\/p>\n

Me: She couldn\u2019t practice self-control either?<\/p>\n

[awkward silence]<\/p>\n

Conversation I\u2019d like to Have #2 <\/strong><\/p>\n

New acquaintance: So Chris, do you have any kids?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes. We have four kids.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Wow, four kids. So… have you figured out what\u2019s causing that?<\/p>\n

Me: Ha! That\u2019s funny. Wait, did you just imply that I don\u2019t know where babies come from?<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: No, no, it was just a joke.<\/p>\n

Me: Oh, that\u2019s funny then, for a second I thought you were trying to say I was dumb, or irresponsible, or something like that. But when you put it like that, that was a really funny joke.<\/p>\n

[awkward silence]<\/p>\n

Conversation I\u2019d like to Have #3 <\/strong><\/p>\n

New acquaintance: So Chris, do you have any kids?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes. We have four kids.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Wow, four kids. Are you Catholic or something?<\/p>\n

Me: Yes, but I don\u2019t think that means what you think it means.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: What do you mean?<\/p>\n

Me: I mean, most people who ask that question do so with the preconception that Catholics can\u2019t use birth control and so they\u2019re “doomed” to have big families.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Oh… no, that\u2019s not what I meant. I just meant that Catholics often have big families. I have friends who are Catholic… I think big families are awesome.<\/p>\n

Me: That\u2019s true, you\u2019re right, Catholics do typically have bigger families and, yes, big families are awesome. But we don\u2019t have them because we \u201ccan\u2019t\u201d use birth control. It\u2019s because, when you stop looking at sex and fertility as something you \u201ccontrol\u201d and start looking at them as a gift you share, your entire perspective changes.<\/p>\n

New acquaintance: Yeah… that\u2019s cool. I guess.<\/p>\n

Me: It is cool. Like when you realize that there\u2019s really no higher calling in life than being a spouse and a parent and you want to throw yourself completely into that. It\u2019s better than cool. It changes everything.<\/p>\n

[awkward silence]<\/p>\n

Alright parents-of-many-children… let this be your catharsis. What crazy things have people said to you and how would you like to respond to them?\u00a0 Please keep it charitable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When people find out that you have four kids, they often say strange things to you.\u00a0 Sometimes they try to “justify” why they have fewer children, which always seems to reveal some regret or disappointment in their past.\u00a0 Other times, they make you feel like you’re crazy. In an effort to keep things happy and… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[55,112,1887,114,113,165,111],"class_list":["post-40885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","tag-catholic-2","tag-catholic-church","tag-catholicsim","tag-natural-family-planning","tag-nfp","tag-parenting","tag-theology-of-the-body","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t