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<\/a><\/p>\nFriends<\/strong><\/p>\n Go ahead, it\u2019s okay. You have my permission to help pick your child\u2019s friends. You don\u2019t have to pick every friend, and you don\u2019t have to be overly controlling, but helping to orchestrate a few get-togethers with a girl from youth group or a boy from soccer that you\u2019ve seen at Mass isn\u2019t a crazy thing to do! This isn\u2019t helicopter parenting, it\u2019s just giving your kids the opportunity to get to know someone that they might not otherwise have a chance to meet.\u00a0 And we all know how valuable a good friend can be, especially for a tweenish child. Here are a few ideas:<\/p>\n Also, help your children find productive things to do while they’re together. Rather than holing up in their room, whispering about boys (or girls) and playing on their phones, give them something to DO!!! One afternoon, I took my bored daughter and her bored friend to Hobby Lobby. We bought about $10 worth of scrapbook paper and supplies and they came home to spend the evening making cute stationary and valentines for friends. Sometimes it’s worth a little effort to help them remember that it’s okay to have fun and be silly. No one is watching! The middle school newspaper staff is NOT hiding in the closet…<\/p>\n Literature<\/strong><\/p>\n All I can say? Choose well. Would you like one easy rule? Pick something old! You\u2019re bound<\/strong> to be better off.\u00a0 Be sure to look through your child’s backpack. While your school library will have some very good selections, there is also plenty of junk. And, our local bookstores aren’t much better, with sections at a certain nation-wide bookseller titled \u201cTeen Paranormal Romance\u201d. Seriously!? You’ve GOT to be kidding me!<\/p>\n You can be sure that just because something has pages, that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s worth reading. And, if your child insists on reading what their friends are reading, be sure that they know that you<\/strong> have final say. The deal in my house is this: \u201cyou pick a book (with mom\u2019s permission) and then I pick a book\u201d. \u00a0And, for as many junk novels that are out there, there are many more quality books that you can find for your children to read. They just won’t be on the book racks at Target, or even Barnes and Noble.<\/p>\n While I do prefer ‘real’ books to e-books, it IS very nice that so many great pieces of literature are available in the public domain (that means free) for download on your e-reader or computer!<\/p>\n Okay, so maybe you have one of those children that isn’t an avid reader. Its maybe just not their favorite past-time. Well, lookie here! Have you heard of Librivox<\/a>?!! (they really should pay me to advertise for them…) It’s my favorite thing EVER! This may very well be the one true reason that God invented technology!<\/p>\n Anyway… Librivox is a completely free and legal collection of public domain audio recordings of literally millions of books. You can either stream live, or download the recordings to burn a CD or upload to an iThing. Listen at home in the evenings when the kids are wandering around. Listen in the car. There are plenty of opportunities.\u00a0 Here is a list of audio books under the ‘children’s’ category o<\/a>n Librivox. I’m talking Little Women, Treasure Island, The Five Little Peppers & How They Grew, Robinson Crusoe, Heidi<\/em>! It practically goes on forever (which is heavenly). My favorite readers are Elizabeth Klett and Karen Savage. Sometimes I have to listen to a few recordings before I find a reader that I like. God bless ’em. I’m forever grateful.<\/p>\n Never underestimate the power that a good, inspiring and noble story can have on a child. And, during these years when your child is growing, thinking about ‘who they are’ and ‘the meaning of life’, be sure to allow them to fill their minds with quality literature.<\/p>\n Here are a few good book lists for your review.<\/a><\/p>\n Hobbies<\/strong><\/p>\n Get thee to a hobby store! Or sports outlet! Basically, find your child a way to get outside<\/strong> themselves. Many young people spend way too much time on personal introspection: analyzing everything from their hair, clothes and acne to their talents, future dreams and worries. Some of that is natural, and acceptable. But too much can be devastating. Give your child a chance to do something that is outwardly focused. It might take a little extra time and effort on your part, but it’s worth it!<\/p>\n If your child is athletic, have her join a team sport, or be a volunteer coach for the younger children’s team. If he\u2019s artistic, find an art class after school. Also, service opportunities are great for children of this age. Let your child volunteer in the church nursery, be a mother\u2019s helper for one of your friends during the summer months. I have a friend whose child found happiness in knitting. Yes, knitting! So cool! There’s scouting, 4-H, after-school clubs, band, orchestra, etc… My daughter began volunteering as a swimming instructor aid at our city summer swim program a few years ago. She\u2019s loved learning how to teach swimming and I\u2019ve been amazed at the amount of responsibility she\u2019s been given. And, it gives her a reason to wake up on a hot, lazy summer morning!<\/p>\n Movies and Music<\/strong><\/p>\n In my home, we keep a pretty tight reign on what is watched and listened to. We have a good collection of movies, for both younger and older kids. \u00a0There are a few shows on Netflix and cable that we watch together. God bless the Food Network and the Discovery Channel! (Here is a list of fun movies to watch together as a family.<\/a>)<\/p>\n As a parent, I try to prevent movies, music and video games from becoming another place to hide away. I remember when I was a young teen, I would sometimes use music as a secret escape. And, while this can be okay sometimes, we have to realize that music is a very powerful emotional anchor. It can make us, and especially an emotional, hormone-ridden tween, feel like they have a secret world. As if only that person singing on the other side of their iPod understands how they truly feel. All I can say here is, be careful. Keep an eye on what they listen to and watch. Keep them from spending inordinate amounts of time holed up in their room with headphones on. You may have to physically pick your tween up and carry them into the living room, but do it anyway. They need to spend time with people. You know, talk, listen, play with siblings, be part of the fam!<\/p>\n My husband is in charge of our children\u2019s iPods. They will give him music lists and he will purchase and upload the music. Or nix it. We also make sure that our children have a good balance of Christian and secular music. We talk about why there is some music we don\u2019t like and won\u2019t pay for or listen to. And, (I think this is key) we listen to music together as a family! Whether it\u2019s something ancient<\/i> like U2, or current like Taylor Swift, we make it a family affair. I believe this does two things. 1. It gives us the opportunity to comment on things we don\u2019t like and don\u2019t listen to and 2. Music doesn\u2019t become their personal hide-away. It belongs to everyone!<\/p>\n Social Media<\/strong><\/p>\n We all know that we need to be careful with our (and our children\u2019s) use of social media, music and movies. I honestly don\u2019t think any one parent has the perfect answer on how to handle all of this, so what we need to do right now, all of us, is give ourselves room to make mistakes. It is okay to try something and then pull back again.<\/p>\n\n