{"id":387756,"date":"2017-04-07T20:16:47","date_gmt":"2017-04-08T01:16:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/?p=387756"},"modified":"2017-04-07T20:16:47","modified_gmt":"2017-04-08T01:16:47","slug":"father-love-lenten-reflection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2017\/04\/father-love-lenten-reflection\/","title":{"rendered":"To My Father For All His Love: A Lenten Reflection"},"content":{"rendered":"
Guest Post by Deacon Dan Lupo<\/pre>\n
\"\"
Deacon Dan<\/p><\/div>\n
In Chicago, where I grew up, March days are shrouded in gray, blasted by icy wind, and blanketed by snow.<\/p>\n
Perfect Lent weather.<\/p>\n
The weather is Lent-perfect because the gray skies evoke a somber mood, which matches the serious attitude Lent fosters. Lent calls for soberly examining our faith journeys and honestly assessing where and how to deepen our relationship with God through prayer, fasting and alms-giving.<\/p>\n
The weather is Lent-perfect because March\u2019s icy winds whistling off Lake Michigan prompt a \u201cgoing within\u201d \u2013 whether by staying indoors and out of the biting blasts, or \u2013 if outside \u2013 by dressing to minimize skin exposure: chin hunkered deep into a turtle neck sweater, under an insulated parka; nose and mouth wrapped by a thick scarf; and ears and eyebrows tucked under a wool knit hat.<\/p>\n
This hunkering down is like Lent\u2019s call to go within, to introspect, to penetrate the layers of compromises and justifications and addictions we wrap around our fears and insecurities and poor choices to insulate ourselves against life\u2019s stinging gusts \u2013 introspection that unwraps and reveals our true selves: good and true and beautiful as God made us, as God sees us, as God invites us to see ourselves.<\/p>\n
\"\"<\/p>\n
The weather is Lent-perfect because the snow-flocked landscape all too soon becomes sullied as relentless driving, plowing, and salting spoils the undulating white blanket, leaving black jagged heaps along the curb. I turn wistful when I see the snow blackened; I turn repentant when I sense my soul darkened by the relentless driving, plowing, and salting of the enemy\u2019s temptations, the world\u2019s seductions, and my own well-practiced concupiscence.<\/p>\n
Lent is a time for prayerful meditation: for looking clear-eyed at our sinful nature, for contemplating our mortality (and our promise of eternity), and for marveling at God\u2019s gifts of undeserved mercy and unmerited salvation.<\/p>\n
Lent is a time for recognizing our utter need for a Savior because of our imperfect surrender to His will and inconsistent cooperation with His grace. Only by that grace do we advance in our improbable journey toward sainthood. Lent is a time also to celebrate that grace, His gift that is with us always, until the end of the age.<\/p>\n
And amid the prayer, charity, and fasting of Lent, my meditation leads me to our Lord\u2019s passion: a Son obedient to His Father\u2019s will, embodied our sin, embraced our death, and enacted the ultimate expression of sacrificial love to destroy both sin and death and gift us with salvation. This love beckons me, renews me, empowers me, and illuminates my path past bare trees tortured black in fear, onward toward a radiant, empty tomb bursting with the impossible lightness of love.<\/p>\n
How beholden I am: to the Father, who loved me into existence; to His Son, who shows me the way, truth, and life in communion with Him; and to their Spirit whose fire burns compassion into me, whose mercy washes me clean, and whose grace inspires Life within me.<\/p>\n
All of which I am to give away. Not give back, give forward. For I know from futile efforts I cannot give back love to God, just as I can never repay my own father for all he gave me: food, warmth, security, family, heritage, identity, name, life\u2026 I can only give love forward.<\/p>\n
And so I offer imperfect gestures of prayer, fasting, and charity\u2026so mustard-seed small, so grain-of-sand insignificant, so faith-starved superficial\u2026 and repay my father for his flawed but genuine love by passing on my own stumble-bumble version to my daughter, and hoping that God \u2013 I mean my father \u2013 will value the effort more than the result, and see in my deeds the oceanic depths of my utter beholdenness to him — a gratitude as large as the cosmos, and as immediate as my next breath.<\/p>\n
Recently I rediscovered the following poem, written years ago under Lent\u2019s introspective spell. In it I recognize the Chicago boy I once was, and the Austin deacon I have become. And the impossible beholdenness I have for my father\u2019s love, and for my Father\u2019s love.<\/p>\n
\n
\nBeholdenness<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n
With one hand cupping the other<\/p>\n
To catch the blood leaking<\/p>\n
From my punctured thumb, bit<\/p>\n
As I fed bike chain to sharp sprocket teeth<\/p>\n
I flew with a child\u2019s wild fear<\/p>\n
Toward the certain salvation<\/p>\n
Of my father\u2019s basement workbench.<\/p>\n
\n
And when I offered him my pale arm<\/p>\n
With deep red rivulets streaming down<\/p>\n
My father did not flinch<\/p>\n
\n
But rose without a word and knew<\/p>\n
To clamp my wrist in his paw-like fist<\/p>\n
And press his other palm low upon my back<\/p>\n
To waltz me to the sink<\/p>\n
Where in awe I watched<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 a miracle<\/p>\n
As water changed to wine<\/p>\n
Then drained again to water.<\/p>\n
\n
He dried my hand and held it high:<\/p>\n
\u201cLike this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I dared not move.<\/p>\n
Then with unexpected tenderness<\/p>\n
He daubed a cotton ball with balm<\/p>\n
And fixed it gently to my wound<\/p>\n
And smiled. \u201cOK?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n
Wide-eyed I nodded and sniff, sniff, sniffed<\/p>\n
The way a little body heaves relieved<\/p>\n
When a storm has passed and the tears recede<\/p>\n
And the miracle of a father\u2019s love<\/p>\n
Dawns bright across a little boy\u2019s heart<\/p>\n
And a lifetime would pass<\/p>\n
Before that boy\u2019s wide-eyed beholdenness<\/p>\n
Became a grown man\u2019s tears<\/p>\n
At a Son\u2019s blood<\/p>\n
And a Father\u2019s healing.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Guest Post by Deacon Dan Lupo In Chicago, where I grew up, March days are shrouded in gray, blasted by icy wind, and blanketed by snow. Perfect Lent weather. The weather is Lent-perfect because the gray skies evoke a somber mood, which matches the serious attitude Lent fosters. Lent calls for soberly examining our faith… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":190,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[90],"tags":[50,699,591],"class_list":["post-387756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-faith-blog","tag-faith","tag-holy-week","tag-lent","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":365517,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/a-lent-of-luminous-darkness-and-wild-seeds\/","url_meta":{"origin":387756,"position":0},"title":"A Lent of Luminous Darkness and Wild Seeds","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"February 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I love Lent. 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Or it will find me a short cut??\u201d A couple of weeks ago I was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_6463-550x310.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_6463-550x310.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_6463-550x310.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":759608,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/dear-austin-let-us-pray\/","url_meta":{"origin":387756,"position":4},"title":"Dear Austin, let us pray…","author":"Rachel","date":"March 21, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"It is a morning to pray. 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