{"id":33619,"date":"2013-01-24T07:56:53","date_gmt":"2013-01-24T13:56:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=33619"},"modified":"2013-09-30T20:46:14","modified_gmt":"2013-10-01T01:46:14","slug":"the-pros-and-con-of-dating-a-catholic-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/01\/the-pros-and-con-of-dating-a-catholic-man\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pro’s and Con of Dating A Catholic Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dating in the secular world is interesting, to put it mildly. It also happens to be confusing, messy, disordered and sometimes scary. I say this because I’ve done it. Because I’ve done it, I have had all too much practice having awkward conversations about why I go to mass as much as possible, why I go to confession, and my favorite, the “reasons why I won’t live with you\/sleep with you\/be unchaste with you before marriage”. There’s nothing quite as fun as watching a date come to a grinding halt when you explain that not only are you Catholic, you’re really Catholic.<\/strong> And while you may not actually wear a chastity belt, you might as well because, by golly, you are waiting until marriage! Ah, yes. Nothing puts the breaks on burgeoning new romance quite like those conversations will.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to the point of this blog: there are many pro’s (and one pseudo-con) to dating Catholic men<\/strong>. While dating Catholic men is still confusing and sometimes scary, there are several upsides:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You can go to mass, adoration, stations of the cross, and other awesome Catholic services together.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. You can talk about your shared love of Mary and the saints.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. You can talk about chastity without them running away.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. They can talk with you about theology and Church teachings without it resulting in either a painfully silent look of apathy or an all-out argument.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. They can correct you if you use terms like “immaculate conception” incorrectly or mispronounce words like “consubstantiation” (happens to me all the time).<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    In sum, dating a Catholic man can be all kinds of wonderful. But there is one downside to dating a Catholic man, a downside that is actually a positive, but in my experience can be frustrating and downright painful. This con contains lots of “opportunities” to die to self, and to rely on God. I don’t know about you, but for this girl, that’s tough stuff.<\/p>\n

    So, what’s the con? It is this: Catholic men take discernment seriously.<\/strong> They discern if and how to pursue you, how to be in relationship with you, and if they feel called to marry you. Not only do they discern whether they want to marry you, but they discern whether they want to be married at all! Many girls just worry if their boyfriend wants to marry them, but girls dating the discerning Catholic man worry that he may want to dedicate his life to priesthood or religious life. Now don’t get me wrong – vocations to priesthood and religious life are beautiful and blessed. But when you have your heart set on a great guy, and he discerns a calling that doesn’t involve you in a white dress, it still hurts.<\/p>\n

    I once dated a man who was very open to all vocations, and was up front about it from the beginning. Each time he talked about discerning priesthood, my heart would jump into my throat as I thought of him ending our relationship for that calling. My emotional brain would freak out and say, “Hey, don’t leave me! Don’t send me back out into the dating world!” Luckily, even in those moments of anxiety, I had enough logical brain left to keep my mouth shut until I could sort my feelings. Eventually what I realized was that if I truly wanted peace, I would want God’s will to be done. Period. And if God’s will did not include this man, then I would have to get over myself and let go. Not only that, but if I truly loved this man as the brother in Christ he was, I would want God’s will for him, too. Easy to say, much more difficult to embrace and put into practice.<\/p>\n

    That relationship eventually ended because my ex-boyfriend discerned so excellently. He was so good at discernment, in fact, that he broke up with me, something I didn’t really appreciate at the time. I ranted and argued with him about it, actually. I suddenly wished that he was not as hardcore-Catholic as he was. The selfish part of me wanted him to stay because I didn’t want to be alone, and also because it really just wasn’t the best time for my heart to break into pieces. It kind of puts a damper on the day-to-day, you know?<\/p>\n

    \"my-broken-heart-wallpapers-1024x768\"So even though I knew it was for the best, I rebelled against the idea at first. After a couple of weeks of hashing it out, I accepted the truth behind it and watched in awe as he walked away because he felt God was calling him to. While grieving the loss him was painful, confusing and not exactly how I wanted to spend my free time, at least I knew that it was a decision rooted in God. Eventually, the pain of losing that relationship subsided, I grew from the good and bad parts, and I met someone new. It’s like God had a plan all along or something… Weird.<\/p>\n

    Moral of this blog?<\/strong> Dating good Catholic men is the way to go, even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to at the time. If you truly have faith in God’s love, then you believe He knows the best plans for you, “plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11). So what may look and feel like heartache at the loss of one relationship, is really another step towards your true vocation.<\/p>\n

    Now that’s something to take heart in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Dating in the secular world is interesting, to put it mildly. It also happens to be confusing, messy, disordered and sometimes scary. I say this because I’ve done it. Because I’ve done it, I have had all too much practice having awkward conversations about why I go to mass as much as possible, why I… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":114,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,90,91],"tags":[875,183,81,210,1346,348],"class_list":["post-33619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","category-faith-blog","category-young-adult","tag-dating","tag-discernment","tag-marriage","tag-relationships","tag-single","tag-vocation","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":131649,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/the-hidden-sweetness-of-marriage-humanum-part-four\/","url_meta":{"origin":33619,"position":0},"title":"The Hidden Sweetness of Marriage (Review: Humanum Series, Part Four)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"July 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Marriage is hard.\" I don't quite know when it happened, but at some point, that became a movement. I've never been married, but from what I understand, it is, in fact, hard. The problem is that marriage is apparently so hard, and the \"marriage is hard\" movement so strong, that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Marriage and Love"","block_context":{"text":"Marriage and Love","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/marriage-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/iZer0WHR1uo\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":127348,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/god-wins\/","url_meta":{"origin":33619,"position":1},"title":"God always wins.","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"July 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf you are what you should be, you would set the whole world on fire.\u201d -\u00a0St. Catherine of Siena By now we are all quite aware of the Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage. I think this is the first time in my life that I've been nervous about\u00a0being Catholic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":140758,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/marriage-advice-singles-scott-stanley-lower-risk-of-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":33619,"position":2},"title":"Marriage Advice for Singles: Scott Stanley on How to Lower Your Risk of Divorce","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"August 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In case you were wondering, I am still not married. Thus, I still keep my eyes and ears open for marriage advice to tuck away for later (thanks, secret Pinterest boards!) and for advice on how to become unsingled. That's like a conscious uncoupling, but in the other direction. Not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Advice for lowering your risk of divorce that is a piece of cake. Wedding cake. See what I did there?","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wedding_cake-467x700.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":124010,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/06\/3-annoying-traits-of-a-catholic-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":33619,"position":3},"title":"3 Annoying Traits of a Catholic Husband That Point You to Heaven","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"June 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night something rare happened: My husband and I found ourselves at the MOVIES. Shocking, I know. I'll pause to let you collect yourself. (Seriously, we don't go to the movies. We usually watch Netflix with the volume so low that we only catch about half of the dialogue and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":160743,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/the-great-good-of-celibacy\/","url_meta":{"origin":33619,"position":4},"title":"The Great Good of Celibacy (A Response to “Dismantling the Cross”)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"October 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I had a really tough time at Mass last Sunday. Since the readings were so clearly about marriage, I expected to hear a homily on that\u2014and I did. I heard a great homily, actually; I'm thankful for that. Yet as someone who is openly celibate and may well remain so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Great Good of Celibacy: A Response to \"Dismantling the Cross,\" by Patricia Snow at AustinCNM.com","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/acnm_celibacy.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":126292,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/if-youre-happy-and-you-know-it-its-a-sin-catholic-youth-dating-and-purity\/","url_meta":{"origin":33619,"position":5},"title":"“If You’re Happy and You Know It, It’s a Sin”- Catholic Youth Dating and Purity","author":"Matthew Hartwick","date":"July 2, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf you\u2019re happy and you know it, it\u2019s a sin\u201d was a statement my former coworker made as to how he thought the Catholic Church viewed sexuality and dating. \u00a0He made that statement because I had told them I was waiting for marriage and wanted to be chaste. Unfortunately, this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net\/hphotos-xaf1\/v\/t1.0-9\/11073353_844202338968819_7183954090317258280_n.jpg?oh=d84469c496911732e4725b2a9bdb0954&oe=561D9B57","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33619","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/114"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33619"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33619\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33619"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33619"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33619"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}