{"id":330375,"date":"2016-12-07T08:30:01","date_gmt":"2016-12-07T14:30:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/?p=330375"},"modified":"2022-07-20T10:04:18","modified_gmt":"2022-07-20T15:04:18","slug":"would-you-walk-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/12\/would-you-walk-away\/","title":{"rendered":"Would You Walk Away?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The woman serving as extraordinary minister reached into the ciborium and grabbed a host. At that moment, something white seemed to fly out. We both saw it. It flew off, falling to my left, her right. We looked at each other.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-330378 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/ciborium-467x700.jpg?resize=467%2C700\" alt=\"ciborium\" width=\"467\" height=\"700\" \/><\/p>\n<p>\u201cBody of Christ,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAmen,\u201d I said, and I received on my tongue the host from her hand.<\/p>\n<p>We looked at each other.<\/p>\n<p>Then we both looked down. We looked around our feet. Nothing. We looked at each other. Then Father, serving the other line and unaware of the flying white thing, stopped and looked at me. He glared with his eyes. His eyes said, \u201cGo!\u201d I looked at the woman. I considered the line of people behind me.<\/p>\n<p>Did I believe that wasn\u2019t really the Body of Christ? If no, then I could walk away.<\/p>\n<p>Did I believe that was really the Body of Christ? If yes, then I dare not.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u00a0I am the bread of life.\u00a0 &#8212; John 6:48<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I grew up Catholic. I made my first communion in second grade with all the other kids. I remember singing the Our Father over and over for practice. I don\u2019t remember whether we were told the bread we were getting was Jesus. I went to Catholic school in 7<sup>th<\/sup> and 8<sup>th<\/sup> grade and heard the word \u201ctransubstantiation\u201d for the first time. I was intrigued by the word. It was long and hard to say. I think we practiced saying it. I don\u2019t remember what the teacher said it meant. I went to Catholic high school, where we had occasional Masses. I remember a day my non-Catholic friend went to receive communion even though I knew she shouldn\u2019t. She went because the upperclassman serving as extraordinary minister was someone we thought was really cute. I didn\u2019t stop her.<\/p>\n<p>I went to a non-Catholic college, but I went to the Catholic center where volunteers baked the communion bread, leavened and whole wheat. I remember so many crumbs.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t until I was 24 on Holy Thursday that it finally sunk in. I thought in wonder, \u201cI think that piece of bread is actually supposed to be Jesus. I think we really believe that.\u201d That changed everything.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-330379\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/hosts-550x367.jpg?resize=550%2C367\" alt=\"hosts\" width=\"550\" height=\"367\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I started to visit the chapel. I could actually pray in front of Him. Like, in person. That became real to me. I always went to Sunday Mass, even through college, but it meant something else now. I was actually with Him. He was actually there.<\/p>\n<p>The real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist was a great consolation after I married, and our newborn daughter was diagnosed as having a tumor. She had surgery and later chemotherapy. What a great gift that we were in a Catholic hospital. We often went to the chapel with our little one, toddling with an IV pole in tow. To be in the Lord&#8217;s presence and plead for our daughter during treatment was extraordinary. I know He heard us.<\/p>\n<p>And then, during my little one\u2019s hospitalization for another chemotherapy, I had an allergic reaction. When her blood counts were good, I went to see an allergist, who gave me a test. I went into anaphylaxis on the test, so great was my allergy to grass. The doctor assured me anyone this allergic to grass also had an anaphylactic reaction to wheat. I took all the wheat things out of my diet and tried it again two weeks later. He was right. I was allergic.<\/p>\n<p>I cried at first for cupcakes and donuts, but on Sunday I realized I was also allergic to Jesus. The Eucharistic Jesus in the form of wheat.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u00a0My Father gives you the true bread from heaven &#8212; John 6:32<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>This was where I really found out Jesus is in that bread. I went to the chapel and cried every day. I could not receive a low-gluten host because it still contained wheat. I could sometimes receive the Precious Blood if I was first, so wheat did not contaminate the cup. If I had to sit in the back of the church for Mass, I did not receive. Most daily Masses did not offer the Precious Blood. You don\u2019t know how much you want something until you can\u2019t have it.<\/p>\n<p>The Eucharistic Jesus, whom I could not receive, waited for me day after day in the chapel. Before the tabernacle, I contemplated why Someone so powerful would choose the form of food, why He would choose only to move when the priest or extraordinary minister moved Him, why He would choose to be bread and not popcorn or a potato chip, why He chose to be locked in the tabernacle. Jesus, meek and humble of heart.<\/p>\n<p>I dove into biblical accounts of bread and wheat, farming and feasts. Jesus, our perfect nourishment to give us strength for the journey (1 Kings 19:7). Jesus, the kernel of wheat who dies and bears abundant fruit (John 12:24). Jesus, the bread from Heaven (John 6:58). Jesus, who exults and perfects the bread, which after the Fall of humankind, God said we would eat only by the sweat of our brow (Genesis 3:19). Jesus, whose Heaven is our banquet, a wedding feast (Revelation 19:9).<\/p>\n<p>I have to admit, I was jealous of others who could receive Him. Did they know what they were getting? They were taking Him home and to work, and I couldn\u2019t. They could treasure Him and talk to Him all day long, and I couldn\u2019t. The Eucharistic Jesus became what I desired most.<\/p>\n<p>By Summer 2013, it was five years since I found out I had an anaphylactic reaction to wheat. During a daily Mass, I begged Him to let me receive again. I heard Him say in my heart, \u201cCome.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was scared. Would I need my epi pen if I heard wrong? I was alone with my daughters, one six-years old (declared cancer-free at age 4) and the other an infant. Would the girls be okay if something happened to me? I decided I had heard correctly, and that I would believe Him. I got in line with my girls, and received my Eucharistic Lord. I returned to the narthex (where loud or crying babies sometimes have to go), and I cried. The Lord gave me a miracle. I had no allergic reaction to Him. Not then, and not ever again.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u00a0I am the living bread that came down from heaven &#8212; John 6:51<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I cherished the opportunity to receive the Eucharist after so many years of not being able. I tried to attend Mass as often as I could. During one Saturday Mass, the Lord tested me.<\/p>\n<p>The woman serving as extraordinary minister reached into the ciborium and grabbed a host. At that moment, something white seemed to fly out. We both saw it. It flew off, falling to my left, her right. We looked at each other.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBody of Christ,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAmen,\u201d I said. And I received on my tongue the host from her hand.<\/p>\n<p>We looked at each other.<\/p>\n<p>Then we both looked down. We looked around our feet. Nothing. We looked at each other. Then Father, serving the other line and unaware of the flying white thing, stopped and looked at me. He glared with his eyes. His eyes said, \u201cGo!\u201d \u00a0I looked at the woman. I considered the line of people behind me.<\/p>\n<p>The Lord knows me to be a chicken. I hate making waves. He knows that. \u201cMaybe I can come back and look for Him after Mass,\u201d I thought. The woman\u2019s face said, \u201cI&#8217;m not sure, but I think we did what we could.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It seemed like an eternity. I stood there in my chapel veil and my winter boots, and I imagined walking away. The idea of me stepping on the host was so vivid, I saw Him bleed.<\/p>\n<p>So, despite the look of the priest that impatiently and emphatically told me to move on, and despite the look on the woman\u2019s face that said, \u201cI guess we should move on,\u201d and despite the feeling I had that everyone behind me wanted to know why I wasn\u2019t moving on, I could not move on. The Lord knows me to be a chicken. But He also confronted me with a reality I could not ignore.<\/p>\n<p>I got down on all fours. \u201cJesus,\u201d I said interiorly, \u201cwhere are You?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I crawled and felt around with my hands. About a couple of feet away, I found Him: Jesus in the form of a sliver of bread, less than a quarter of a host. My Lord and my God.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-330380 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/eucharist-1591663_19201-120x190.jpg?resize=120%2C190\" alt=\"eucharist-1591663_19201\" width=\"120\" height=\"190\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I stood. I handed my Lord to the minister. I returned to my pew.<\/p>\n<p>Did I believe that was not really the Body of Christ? If not, I could have walked away.<\/p>\n<p>Did I believe that was really the Body of Christ? If yes, then I dare not.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u00a0For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink &#8212; John 6:55<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The woman serving as extraordinary minister reached into the ciborium and grabbed a host. At that moment, something white seemed to fly out. We both saw it. It flew off, falling to my left, her right. We looked at each other. \u201cBody of Christ,\u201d she said. \u201cAmen,\u201d I said, and I received on my tongue&#8230;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/12\/would-you-walk-away\/\">[Read&nbsp;More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":215,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[386,132,811,330,372],"class_list":["post-330375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","tag-communion","tag-eucharist","tag-health","tag-jesus","tag-miracles","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":366051,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/courage\/","url_meta":{"origin":330375,"position":0},"title":"Courage","author":"Trenton Henrichson","date":"February 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"For Catholics of well- formed conscience, the drama unfolding at the Texas Capitol has been disconcerting at best. Gov. Abbot has ordered an emergency session to draft and ratify Senate Bill SB-4. The bill aims to penalize counties and cities whose law enforcement officials will not turn over their residents\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/vasquez-SB4-294x190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":187810,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/12\/prayers-4th-sunday-advent\/","url_meta":{"origin":330375,"position":1},"title":"The Prayers &#8211; 4th Sunday of Advent","author":"William Rooney","date":"December 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Since we can learn much from what we pray day in and day out in our Liturgy it would be profitable for us to reflect more profoundly upon the prayers of each day. We should especially do this over the season of Advent which marks the end of one liturgical\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Catarino_Veneziano_-_Madonna_and_Child,_the_Crucifixion,_and_Saints_-_Walters_37635","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Catarino_Veneziano_-_Madonna_and_Child_the_Crucifixion_and_Saints_-_Walters_37635-550x514.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Catarino_Veneziano_-_Madonna_and_Child_the_Crucifixion_and_Saints_-_Walters_37635-550x514.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Catarino_Veneziano_-_Madonna_and_Child_the_Crucifixion_and_Saints_-_Walters_37635-550x514.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":117966,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/06\/corpus-christi-procession-where-the-body-is-there-the-eagles-will-be-gathered-together-part-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":330375,"position":2},"title":"Corpus Christi Procession: &#8220;Where the Body is, there the eagles will be gathered together&#8221; (Part 4)","author":"Deacon Guadalupe Rodriguez","date":"June 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Where the Body is, there the eagles will be gathered together.\" (Lk. 17:37 RSV) \u00a0This scripture is also found in Matthew 24:28. \u00a0This scripture is taken from the Revised Standard Version Bible which is the bible translation used for the Catechism of the Catholic Church since the New American Bible\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Column&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Gospel","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/st_john_eagle-135x190.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":190002,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/12\/catholic-liturgy-101-introduction-to-liturgical-catechesis\/","url_meta":{"origin":330375,"position":3},"title":"Catholic Liturgy 101: Introduction to Liturgical Catechesis","author":"Michael Raia","date":"December 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A handful of friends and colleagues have requested a very basic survey of concepts on Catholic worship and liturgical catechesis \u2013 that is, teaching on liturgy. I find the progression in the following outline very helpful when explaining what liturgy is and why it's important in the big picture of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Faith&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Central mural in the triumphal arch above the apse of St. Paul the Apostle Catholic Church in Westerville, OH by EverGreene Architectural Arts. (photo by Meleca Architecture)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/EverGreeneArchitects-550x413.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/EverGreeneArchitects-550x413.jpeg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/EverGreeneArchitects-550x413.jpeg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":308041,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/10\/the-song-and-the-priesthood\/","url_meta":{"origin":330375,"position":4},"title":"The Song and the Priesthood","author":"William Rooney","date":"October 13, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently, thanks to my Old Testament Writings class, I have spent a lot of time reading, meditating on, and writing about the Song of Songs. It is a marvelous book which I highly encourage you to read. In some ways, the Song is a remarkable book to find in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;ACNM&quot;","block_context":{"text":"ACNM","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Adam and Eve and the desire for something other than God","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Adam-and-Eve-reaching-for-apple.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1121873,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/one-way-to-be-an-answer-to-the-current-crisis\/","url_meta":{"origin":330375,"position":5},"title":"One Way to Be An Answer to the Current Crisis","author":"Rachel","date":"September 7, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 We've had a lot of difficult news to absorb these last few weeks. It would be easy to look at the Church's current situation and wonder if we're not splitting apart at the seams. Some have called this the US Church's worst crisis in history (see interview below). So\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/215"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=330375"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2730233,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330375\/revisions\/2730233"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=330375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=330375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=330375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}