{"id":327920,"date":"2016-11-28T11:44:41","date_gmt":"2016-11-28T17:44:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/?p=327920"},"modified":"2016-11-28T23:15:01","modified_gmt":"2016-11-29T05:15:01","slug":"objectivity-healthy-self-love-advent-reflection-catholic-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/11\/objectivity-healthy-self-love-advent-reflection-catholic-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"Objectivity & Healthy Self-love: An Advent reflection on “Catholic Guilt”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\""Child<\/a><\/p>\n

“Catholic guilt” came up recently in a conversation about psychology and religion. It also came up sometimes back in my grad school counseling classes. In\u00a0these conversations, I often hear the question, “Isn’t “Catholic guilt” psychologically unhealthy?” I think it’s a great question.<\/p>\n

Can there be something unhealthy about guilt?\u00a0I think so. How can we clarify healthy vs.\u00a0unhealthy guilt?<\/p>\n

First, what does unhealthy look like? \u00a0I think you can sort our unhealthy reactions to guilt and sin into two broad categories: the holier-than-Thou pharisee of Luke 18:9-14<\/a>, and the over exaggerated self-loathing and slogging that’s become the punch line of jokes as “#CatholicGuilt.”<\/p>\n

The Pharisee<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Let’s look first at the pharisee. We’re familiar with the tale:“The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself:\u00a0‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11).\u00a0<\/em>This is the self-sufficient sinner who seems unaware of his need for grace. He may avoid looking at his own sin, or deny it exists entirely. We take this position when we say, “my sin isn’t as bad as so-and-so’s sins” or when we relativize our sins, “it’s not really that bad, I don’t really need to confess it.” We take this position when we exalt ourselves <\/em>and also\u00a0when we say “thanks, God, I’ve already got it figured out and I don’t need Your help.”<\/p>\n

#Catholicguilt<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The other category that wins us the punch lines of “Catholic guilt” is the response to sin and weakness of exaggerated self loathing. Those in this category\u00a0set up camp in the “For you<\/b> are<\/b> dust<\/b>” verse (Gen 3:19<\/a>) \u2014 dirt, scum of the earth, worthless \u2014 and they don’t take into account the rest of the Good News. They seem to be stuck in the\u00a0“unworthy sinner” position without ever opening the door to God’s grace. It’s almost like they say “I’ll humble myself, but I refuse to\u00a0let You exalt me.”<\/em> And while some historical trends such as flogging and mortification probably helped create the punchlines for this kind of exaggerated guilt being a Catholic thing, it’s been interesting to notice throughout my years of good friendship and conversation with our Protestant brothers and sisters that this vein of response to sin is alive and well in their faith traditions as well. We take this position when before weakness or sin we throw up our hands and say “I’m guilty of everything, I feel bad all the time about myself.” We also take this position when out of an exaggerated fear of sinning and an anticipation of heavy guilt, we simply avoid the world in an attempt to keep “a clean collar.”<\/p>\n

One common root<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So what makes both of these positions unhealthy? Are they both equally unhealthy? I think they both grow out of an underlying root of a lack of healthy self love, fed by a very subjective view of themselves. What do I mean by that?<\/p>\n

The pharisee from the parable is trying to prop himself up with external deeds. He says to himself, “I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get” <\/em>(Lk 18:12). When we justify ourselves before others or God, it’s usually from a place of insecurity or anxiousness. It may sound backwards, but think of it this way – if I knew who I was before God, and I was secure in my self before Him, would I feel any scrambling impulse or need to justify myself? \u00a0I also find it interesting that the Gospel says he was “praying to himself.” Stuck in his own head and his own subjectivity, he couldn’t see how un-holy he was behaving, and how the true model for holiness was in the publican he was despising. In this self-sufficient position, this unhealthy reaction to sin and weaknesses keeps the person from growing<\/em> in holiness<\/em> because he’s\u00a0deceived himself into thinking he has already arrived.<\/p>\n

The #CatholicGuilt position also shows a lack of a healthy sense of self. It’s a little easier to see here because of all the self-loathing. But\u00a0what might miss our gaze is that beneath the refusal to allow God to exalt the lowly, there is also an avoidance of responsibility. If I’m a totally worthless sinner incapable of getting it right, I can also justify my staying in bed all day and not trying. This happens when we allow ourselves\u00a0to get so overwhelmed by what we perceive as exaggerated failures that we simply lie down and\u00a0give up. Again, there is a lack of objectivity about self. We take this position when we say “Well if I can’t get it right, I’ll just quit trying.” In this self-loathing position, this unhealthy reaction to sin and weakness also keeps the person from growing, because they refuse their own responsibility to work with God’s saving grace and open the door to Him.<\/p>\n

I think we all fall into these positions in our spiritual lives from time to time. I tend to take the pharisaic position myself, though now and then if I’m worn out from holding that one-up stance, I’ll fall into the helpless #Catholicguilt hole, too. Getting objective about ourselves has to do with self awareness, with being willing to observe and notice when we’re falling into these unhelpful positions.<\/p>\n

Let’s get objective!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s a few helpful indicators of when we’re engaging in one or the other category of unhealthy guilt.\u00a0Stemming from a lack of a sense of self and lack of objective view of oneself before God, I think both positions or reactions involve:<\/p>\n