![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/medium_6869336880-300x200.jpg?resize=300%2C200\" "\\"Doctor\\"")
<\/a>photo credit: Alex E. Proimos<\/a> via photopin<\/a> cc<\/a><\/p><\/div>This may be a little unusual for someone to admit, but, I\u2019m not afraid to die. And I even look forward to death one day (not in a \u201cI want to die today\u201d type of way but in a \u201cI look forward to being in God\u2019s presence for eternity and in communion with the saints\u201d kind of way). But, at the same time, I\u2019m not entirely comfortable with the mortality and the idea of dealing with the death of those I love, especially when it comes to my husband.<\/p>\n \u201cFor we are dust, and to dust you shall return.\u201d -Genesis 3:19<\/p>\n As Catholics, we recognize our mortality. We recognize there is a natural beginning and end to our lives. We also recognize that there is a dignified, respectable way for life to begin AND <\/em><\/strong>end. We often focus on the beginning of life issues, especially right now as they are at the forefront of politics and laws in our society. And this is good and important, however, it\u2019s also necessary to think about and know about end-of-life issues.<\/p>\n End-of-life issues aren\u2019t as easy to talk about. Death is an uncomfortable topic for many of us. We don\u2019t like to think about the mortality of those we love, or of ourselves. And yet, it\u2019s important. Why? Because if we don\u2019t know learn about and don\u2019t reflect on these issues before we\u2019re in a stressful life-and-death situation for our loved ones or ourselves, it is more difficult to make the right moral decision quickly in the midst of critical life-and-death moments.<\/p>\n Four years ago I was blessed to witness the graceful death of man named Edward*. I wasn\u2019t present when he died, but I knew him prior to death, prayed for and with him and his family when he was diagnosed with cancer and later when it became terminal, and I witnessed his all too quick wasting away. And, I will forever have imprinted in my memory the modern-day pieta that I witnessed while in prayer with a couple of family members and friends of Edward.<\/p>\n Edward, truly only skin and bones, lay on the bed in his bedroom at home. On one side, of the bed, his mother, clutching fervently to her sons\u2019 hand. Sitting on the bed with Edward was his wife Monica*, holding as much of her husbands\u2019 body as she dared, cautious to not cause him too much pain but desperate to cling to her beloved. During our prayer she\u2019d often stroke his face and look lovingly into his eyes, holding back tears at times and at other times letting them flow freely. And to complete this modern-day pieta was his three-year old daughter Catherine*, coming in-and-out of the room during our prayer of the Divine Mercy Chaplet, occasionally climbing onto the bed to sit with mom and touch her daddy\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know much about what end-of-life decisions Edward and Monica had discussed, beyond that he wanted to be at home when it became apparent that he would not live much longer and that he wanted to be buried nearby in South Austin, so his children could visit his grave. photo credit: Chad McDonald<\/a> via photopin<\/a> cc<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/p>\n Prior to Edward\u2019s death I had been to funerals and had even had several family members die, with one of my grandfather\u2019s being the closest family member to have passed away at that time. But I had never thought about the details of decisions that had to be made, nor the difficulty of these decisions if the person was your spouse. Edward\u2019s death was the first time I encountered this, until last week.<\/p>\n At 5:45am last Saturday I received a phone call from my brother-in-law, who hadn\u2019t been too successful in contacting my husband who was out-of-town. My husband\u2019s sister, who had just finished her first round of chemo, was in the hospital and declining rapidly. It was time for the family to come see her and pay our last respects. <\/p>\n The next few days were a blur of exhaustion, time spent in the hospital, emotional ups-and-downs and time with her husband and teen daughter. His sister had set up much of the necessary legal documentation to assist with end of life decisions such as an Advanced Medical Directive (sometimes called \u201cA Living Will\u201d) and Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. And she had also taken time to discuss her wishes concerning resuscitation, funeral, burial and more with her husband. Yet even with all this, there were still decisions and clarifications that had to be made while she was in the hospital, and upon her passing just a few days after we had arrived from out-of-state to see her. These decisions would have been a lot more difficult to make had she not discussed her wishes with family members and close friends when she was still relatively healthy.<\/p>\n My husband and I have discussed some end of life issues with each other, but we have definitely not exhausted the subject. At different points in our life our preferences may change due to the circumstances of our lives at that time or different medical procedures and advancements. We both want a funeral Mass and to be buried bodily. And we both definitely want the teachings of the Catholic Church to be followed in terms of end-of-life decisions.<\/p>\n These teachings are not always easy to find, and are not as strict as one might think, offering much individual preference. The ordinary and expected requirements follow both the Fifth Commandment (Thou shall not kill) and natural law**, making end-of-life requirements naturally easy to understand why they are to be followed. This requirement is that all ordinary means must be used to preserve life but that no one is required to take extraordinary means to preserve life. Ordinary means to preserve life include things such as water, food, exercise and medical care. Extraordinary means to preserve life includes things like medical treatments which would be unequal to their result, such as if the treatments would place a significant burden on the patient or the family. Significant burden refers to things such as the type of treatment recommended, how risky or complicated it is, its cost, side effects, how painful it will be, its availability, the likelihood of that treatment maintaining or enhancing the life of the patient, and the need to share limited medical resources and the spiritual and emotional aspects of the treatment.<\/p>\n Discussions about death are rarely easy, and as I\u2019ve said, they\u2019re even more difficult when you have them about the ones you love the most. But it\u2019s important for us to know what our family members, and most importantly our spouses, want for the end of their life and entrance into death. And, for others to know our end-of-life wishes are too.<\/p>\n ———![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/medium_6661901835-300x186.jpg?resize=300%2C186\" "\\"Cemetary\\"")
<\/a>
\nThe Diocese of Rochester has a great guide for Catholics on how to handle End-of-Life Decision Making<\/a>, as does the Michigan Catholic Conference of Bishops<\/a>.<\/p>\n