{"id":20252,"date":"2012-07-28T08:00:28","date_gmt":"2012-07-28T13:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=20252"},"modified":"2012-07-28T10:56:10","modified_gmt":"2012-07-28T15:56:10","slug":"how-far-is-too-far","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/how-far-is-too-far\/","title":{"rendered":"How Far Is Too Far?"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are some questions that never seem to get properly answered when you ask them. \u201cDaddy, why is the sky blue?\u201d \u201cMommy, where do babies come from?\u201d \u201cAunt Edna, could you help me reconcile the thermodynamic principle of entropy with the theory of evolution?\u201d But the one that probably most frustrates high school teens, and the one that most youth ministers seem to be most inadequately prepared to answer, is: \u201cWhen I\u2019m kissing my boyfriend\/girlfriend, how far is too far?\u201d<\/p>\n

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Let\u2019s face it. It\u2019s a simple question that should have a simple answer, right? There should be some kind of line drawn in the sand that is not to be crossed; we should be able to be told that, of course, a simple peck on the cheek or lips is fine, but anything longer than 3.68 seconds is to be considered \u201cmaking out,\u201d and is sinful (albeit only venial, whereas exceeding 6 seconds is a mortal sin). Right?<\/p>\n

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CEILING CAT SEES AND DISAPPROVES OF YOUR PHYSICAL INTIMACY.<\/p><\/div>\n

Wrong. That\u2019s not the way this works. If you\u2019re asking \u201chow far is too far,\u201d the problem is not entirely that nobody\u2019s giving you a good answer (although that certainly doesn\u2019t help). The real problem is that there is<\/em> no truly good answer, because it\u2019s the wrong question to ask.<\/p>\n

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Here\u2019s the deal. As a good, faithful Catholic, you obviously want to love your significant other rather than lust after them. So you\u2019ve been asking the question, \u201cAt what point do I cross the line from love into lust?\u201d But really, you should be asking, \u201cWhat is the most loving thing I can possibly do for him or her right now? How can I most purely express my love for this person?\u201d Do you see the distinction? The first question asks what the restrictions are. The second question asks what the most unrestricted way in which we can love is. The first question asks, \u201cWhat is bad?\u201d The second question asks, \u201cWhat is good?\u201d The first asks, \u201cHow do I avoid an act of lust?\u201d The second asks, \u201cHow do I perform an act of love?\u201d<\/p>\n

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So it seems that we need to define love. We know that God is Love<\/a>, and that He so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son<\/a> to die for our sins, so if there\u2019s anything that Christ taught us, it\u2019s the definition of Love, which is this: Love is doing what is best for another regardless of cost to yourself.<\/strong> Stop and reread that definition again. Write it down on a Post-It and stick it to your mirror. Repeat it over and over and over until you wake your parents up at 3 AM because you\u2019re yelling it in your sleep. Let that sucker sink into your brain, because that is how this whole dating business works.<\/p>\n

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Pictured: Doing what is best for another, regardless of cost to yourself.<\/p><\/div>\n

At any and every given moment with your significant other, you should be asking yourself the question, \u201cWhat is the best thing I can do for him\/her, regardless of what that might mean for me?\u201d And let\u2019s face it \u2013 if you really are asking yourself that question, and being honest about it, you will find that the answers are already there in plain sight. Is the best way to express my love for her a kiss? Maybe sometimes, yes. But was that kiss I just gave her really an expression of love, or was it just lust? Was it pure and chaste and beautiful and communicating everything of the sacrifices I am willing to make for her, or was it the result of a head full of hormones to the point that I couldn\u2019t control myself? Or perhaps the situation is not a kiss, but physical body position. If I am doing what is best for him, is pressing up against him like this really what he needs right now? Am I communicating the purity of a Christ-like love to him, or am I leading him to lust after me?<\/p>\n