{"id":16470,"date":"2012-05-17T08:05:19","date_gmt":"2012-05-17T13:05:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=16470"},"modified":"2012-05-17T19:11:09","modified_gmt":"2012-05-18T00:11:09","slug":"holiness-the-problem-with-catholic-virgins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/05\/holiness-the-problem-with-catholic-virgins\/","title":{"rendered":"Holiness: The \u201cProblem\u201d with Catholic Virgins"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I have bad allergies. Really bad. So bad that when I finally started seeing an allergist a year ago he told me there are about 4 weeks in the year, two in the summer and two in the fall, when I\u2019m not allergic to things in there air.<\/p>\n

But I didn\u2019t realize my allergies were quite that bad until recently. Before then, I\u2019d go to a \u201cregular\u201d doctor and get allergy meds. And about once every 2-3 years, I\u2019d be given a steroid shot if my cedar allergies were to the point that I couldn\u2019t walk from my front door to my car without sneezing 10-15 times.<\/p>\n

About 4 years ago, at the age of 26 and pre-marriage, it was one of \u201cthose years\u201d where I absolutely needed a shot. I called for a doctor\u2019s appointment at the local regional clinic only to be informed that my usual doctor was not available. Feeling beyond miserable, I consented to see any doctor that was available. My appointment was set, and in I went that day to see the doctor.<\/p>\n

As a female, there\u2019s a pretty standard routine of being asked by the nurse when your last menstrual period was, what, if any medications, including birth control, you\u2019re on, etc. After going through all that I sat and waited for the doctor. He comes in, checks my symptoms, and I tell him I want a shot. He lectures me on not waiting until the last minute to get taken care of for my allergies. Frustrated about the lecture, I told him I wasn\u2019t waiting until the last minute. And that I had been taking high strength allergies meds for over two months. He then consented to giving me a shot, but not before one of the most memorable, most awkward, and most frustrating conversations of my life.<\/p>\n

Doctor: \u201cAre you pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor: \u201cIs there any chance you could be pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me, wondering why he\u2019s asking me the question again, since if he looked at my chart he\u2019d know he didn\u2019t need to ask me that question again: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, looking and speaking condescendingly: \u201cThere\u2019s always <\/strong>a chance you could be pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me, pretty angry and offended at this point (first a lecture on allergies when I’m feeling miserable and now this!?): \u201cNot if I don\u2019t have sex there isn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, looking very taken aback and confused kinda gawks at me and spurts: \u201cWell, uh\u2026 okay\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cAnd no, I\u2019ve never had sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, awkwardly, as he hurried out the door: \u201cWell, I guess you can have the shot then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Um, yeah, I still don\u2019t know what to say about that conversation. I know doctors have a protocol they need to follow concerning medicine, but the air of superiority and condescension present in this doctors tone just got to me. And the bewilderment that someone could still be a virgin past the age of 19 or 20 is not just present in the medical world. It\u2019s prevalent in movies, TV shows, music, news, schools, advertising, social media and well, pretty much everywhere you look in society. The world has a problem with the call for and desire for living this pure holiness, virginity. Two fairly recent examples can be found in a November 2011 episode of Glee and within the HHS mandate \u201cfight.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the fall of 2011 the TV show \u201cGlee,\u201d had aired an episode called, \u201cThe First Time.\u201d In the episode, teen characters Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel* were told, by a peer, that there was no way they could show enough passion to play the leads of Tony and Maria in Westside Story because they were both virgins. It is suggested that the characters fix this by having sex with their significant others (which were not each other). Towards the end of the episode, visual allusions were made to both characters having had sex for the first time with their significant others, and both characters were shown performing as the leads of Westside Story, acting with passion and energy. Apparently, virginity was their problem. And, of course, having sex solved it.<\/p>\n

When the whole HHS mandate was big in the media, there was a large debate about numbers. Numbers of Catholic women having sex with birth control, numbers of Catholic women having sex without birth control, numbers of Catholic married women having sex with birth control, etc. But the one number frequently skipped over? The number of Catholic women not <\/strong>having sex, and not <\/strong>needing birth control because they followed the Catholic Church\u2019s call to live holiness by keeping sex within the Sacrament of Marriage. Though a small number, it\u2019s a number that really matters when it comes to requiring the Catholic Church to act contrary to our faith teachings.<\/p>\n

In talking with some of my other Catholic female friends, they\u2019ve had similar encounters with their doctors. And co-workers, friends, people they date and even family members. To myself and to other Catholics, female and male alike, that are virgins until marriage, the lack of acceptance and understanding of the desire to live the pure holiness of virginity can be frustrating, exhausting, hurtful and disheartening.<\/p>\n

But who said living the call to holiness would be easy?<\/p>\n

*correction: the male character was Blaine Anderson, not Kurt Hummel<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have bad allergies. Really bad. So bad that when I finally started seeing an allergist a year ago he told me there are about 4 weeks in the year, two in the summer and two in the fall, when I\u2019m not allergic to things in there air. But I didn\u2019t realize my allergies were… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[55,50,168,193,81,66,143,750],"class_list":["post-16470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","tag-catholic-2","tag-faith","tag-holiness","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-pop-culture","tag-saints","tag-virgin","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":101474,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/04\/4-irrational-fears-of-a-girl-during-mass\/","url_meta":{"origin":16470,"position":0},"title":"4 Irrational Fears of a Girl During Mass","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"April 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Mass is a time of community, prayer, and a whole lotta holy. But sometimes my brain will not focus for the life of me. These are just a few of the things that can distract me during mass (this was pre-baby... kids add a whole new level of distraction\u00a0to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":193488,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/12\/first-saturday-devotion-of-reparation-our-lady\/","url_meta":{"origin":16470,"position":1},"title":"First Saturday Devotion of Reparation to Our Lady","author":"Deacon Guadalupe Rodriguez","date":"December 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"HER CHILDREN ROSE UP, AND CALLED HER BLESSED.\" (Proverbs 31:28 Douay Rheims) As we enter the new year 2016 celebrating the Solemnity of Mary Mother of God, I am making a new year's resolution to complete the Five First Saturday Devotion of Reparation to Our Lady. \u00a0I have tried many\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Immaculate Heart of Mary Window","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Immaculate-Heart-of-Mary-large-125x190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":76849,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/01\/review-chastity-is-for-lovers\/","url_meta":{"origin":16470,"position":2},"title":"Choosing to Love, Now and Every Day (Review: “Chastity Is for Lovers”)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"January 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Whether or not you're a virgin, chastity is for you. I read a lot about chastity. You might have noticed that if you've read any of my writing here at Austin CNM. I recently re-discovered the blog of Arleen Spenceley, a chastity advocate and professional journalist, when I got word\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Chastity is about making the choice over and over, every day, to love. \u2014Arleen Spenceley","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/ArleenSpenceleyQuotation-550x341.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/ArleenSpenceleyQuotation-550x341.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/ArleenSpenceleyQuotation-550x341.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":158944,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/joyful-mysteries-of-the-rosary-audio\/","url_meta":{"origin":16470,"position":3},"title":"Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary [Audio]","author":"ATX Catholic","date":"October 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Join us in the Joyful mysteries of the Holy Rosary of the Most Blessed Virgin Mary. Each mystery is led by one of our contributors. [powerpress] The First Joyful Mystery THE ANNUNCIATION - Shawn Chapman The Second Joyful Mystery THE VISITATION -\u00a0Brit Echtenkamp The Third Joyful Mystery THE NATIVITY -\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Podcast"","block_context":{"text":"Podcast","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/podcast\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"JoyfulMysteries","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/JoyfulMysteries-550x275.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/JoyfulMysteries-550x275.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/JoyfulMysteries-550x275.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":109778,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/youre-not-a-bad-mom-if-part-two\/","url_meta":{"origin":16470,"position":4},"title":"You’re Not a Bad Mom If You Spend Time with People Who Are Not Your Baby","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"May 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"This segment of \"Bad Mom\" brings us to Part Two of this three\u00a0part series. (See Part One here.) Mother's Day was yesterday, and if your guilt about not being Super Mom 24\/7 kept you from enjoying your well-earned day, then please, read this post. Preferably with a coffee or piece\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17931,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/06\/media-discernment-and-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":16470,"position":5},"title":"Media Discernment and You","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"June 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I have a love\/hate relationship with the media. I am Catholic and I am committed to my faith, but I work with many non-Catholics and with Catholics who are seeking direction. Being a good evangelist means I have to keep track of what's going on outside the Catholic bubble, to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/love-hate-300x214.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16470"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16470\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}