{"id":13322,"date":"2018-03-15T09:00:08","date_gmt":"2018-03-15T14:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=13322"},"modified":"2021-01-23T01:39:33","modified_gmt":"2021-01-23T07:39:33","slug":"the-betrothal-and-love-of-joseph-and-mary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/the-betrothal-and-love-of-joseph-and-mary\/","title":{"rendered":"The Betrothal and Love of Joseph and Mary"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n

As the Solemnity of Saint Joseph approaches let us contemplate the betrothal and love of Joseph and Mary and how it can help couples today. It is mentioned very little in scripture. Yet it was the foundation for the family into which Jesus Christ was born.<\/p>\n

Blessed Pope John Paul II says in the church document Guardian of the Redeemer, \u201cAccording to Jewish custom, marriage took place in two stages: first, the legal, or true marriage was celebrated, and then, only after a certain period of time, the husband brought the wife into his home.\u201d <\/em>The first stage was known as the betrothal <\/em>and the second stage was the great wedding feast such as that of the 10 maidens in Matt. 25:1-13 or that at Cana in John 2:1-11.<\/p>\n

\u201cMary was betrothed to Joseph but before they lived together.\u201d(<\/em>Matt. 1:18) Betrothal was much more than the modern day \u201cengagement.\u201d Its juridical consequences were similar to those of Catholic marriage today for which the union has not yet been consummated, even though the wedding has already been validly celebrated. The betrothed were already called \u201chusband\u201d and \u201cwife\u201d enjoying the same legal rights as spouses who had already celebrated their marriage feast, which is why we see very early in Matthew 1:16, \u201cJoseph, the husband of Mary\u201d <\/em>and in verse 19, \u201cher husband Joseph.\u201d<\/em> Only cohabitation and conjugal relations were excluded during the period of betrothal, \u201cBut he knew her not.\u201d <\/em>(Matt. 1:24) Infidelity carried all the consequences of adultery and separation required a formal decree.<\/p>\n

\u201cA virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph.\u201d <\/em>(Lk. 1:27) During the betrothal period, the rabbis intended for the bride to have time to prepare her trousseau, and the groom, time to fulfill the promises of the contract and prepare the new home with all its furnishings. This betrothal period, which sometimes was up to a year, also, allowed the bride to mature in age as the normal betrothal age was 14 or 15 for a girl and 18 for a young man. On the question of Joseph\u2019s age, third century iconographs picture Joseph beardless and young especially in the catacombs of St. Hippolytus in Rome. In the fourth century the sarcophagus of St. Celsus in Milan, also picture Joseph as beardless and young. The Fathers of the Church and saints concur that he was a young man. Regrettably later, artists make Joseph appear as an old man trying to prove and defend Our Lady\u2019s perpetual virginity.<\/p>\n

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Marriage Window at St William in Round Rock<\/p><\/div>\n

What was the betrothal ceremony like?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Joseph and Mary would have fulfilled the letter of the law as they did at the presentation of Jesus. Mary would have held out her hand. Joseph would have placed on her finger the gold ring symbolizing union and possession, saying: \u201cHere is the ring that unites you to me in the sight of God according to the Mosaic Rite.\u201d<\/em> He then would have handed his bride the written contract and silver coin representing her dowry or marriage portion.<\/p>\n

Amazingly today, Our Lady\u2019s nuptial ring is kept in a rich gold and silver reliquary in Perugia\u2019s San Lorenzo Cathedral. It was publicly venerated there by Blessed Pope Pius IX when he visited the city in 1857. The feast of the Espousals of the Joseph and Mary was commemorated for many centuries in the old Latin calendar on January 23.<\/p>\n

We nevertheless guard against thinking that the betrothal of Joseph and Mary was only a legal fiction. \u201cWe must stop imagining the Virgin as a cloistered nun or young girl living like a hermit since Mary was legally Joseph\u2019s wife,\u201d says, Fr. Roland Gauthier. They married because they loved one another. Joseph loved our Lady, and Our Lady loved Joseph, not with a brotherly love, but a pure conjugal love. It was so deep that any carnal relation was made totally superfluous. In the words of St. Josemaria Ecriva, \u201cAnyone who cannot understand a love like that knows very little of true love and is a complete stranger to the Christian meaning of chastity.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Blessed Pope John Paul II says of Joseph in Guardian of the Redeemer<\/em>, \u201cThe conjugal love which he experienced as a man\u2026proved to be greater than this \u201cjust man\u201d could ever have expected within the limits of his human heart.\u201d <\/em>The Holy Father continues, \u201cBecause Mary was united to Joseph by the bond of marriage…Joseph approached as no other person ever could.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Was it a real marriage even though they had no sexual relations? <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Joseph and Mary gave their full and free consent to God and to one another. Mary, being sinless, surrendered herself totally as no creature could; Joseph, being cleansed of original sin right after conception according to the approved apparitions of Our Lady of America could also come as close to total surrender as a non-immaculately conceived human being possibly can.<\/p>\n

God says to Adam and Eve that they are to become, \u201cTwo in one flesh\u201d<\/em> Gen. 2:24; but of Joseph and Mary it might be said that they were two in one spirit. St. Ambrose the teacher of St. Augustine says, \u201cThey were one Spirit<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The church\u2019s catechism is very clear that they were spouses and St. Augustine further confirms, \u201cEvery good of marriage was fulfilled in the parents of Christ: offspring, loyalty, and the sacrament.<\/em>\u201d Pope Leo XIII states, \u201cThe consummation of their love was in Jesus<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

No other marriage in all of history was ever more loving, more perfect, and more holy than that of Joseph and Mary. Their union of heart was more intimate than was ever found in any other marriage. Each found in the other an incomparable beauty of soul.<\/p>\n

St. Bernadine of Siena describes this greatest of all loves best when he says, \u201cMary and Joseph were but one heart and soul; they were two in one same mind, one same affection, and each of them was the other\u2019s second half, because Our Lady and he were so to speak, only one person. The heart of Mary with that of Joseph, and the heart of Joseph with that of Mary, who ever could imagine a union so intimate, a grace so great!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Archbishop Fulton Sheen also describes it as something out of this world, \u201cThe world\u2019s happiest marriage for they brought to their espousal not only their vow of virginity but also two hearts with greater torrents of love than had ever before coursed through human breasts. No husband and wife ever loved one another so much as did Joseph and Mary<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

What can I learn from Joseph and Mary for my marriage? Can they teach me something? <\/strong><\/h3>\n

With the marriage crisis looming all around us, more and more couples need to look at the espousal of Joseph and Mary that they may discover what it means to be true soul mates. St. Augustine answers all these questions best when he says, \u201cJoseph is the husband of Mary, her partner in continence, not by carnal embrace but by affection, not by union of bodies but by what matters still more: the communion of souls. Faithful married couples may learn from their example that, if they practice continence by mutual consent, their marriage can remain and be called such if the affection of their minds is preserved even without the sexual union of their bodies.\u201d <\/em>The idea of couples being continent makes a lot of sense especially when St. Paul says, \u201cBy mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer,\u201d <\/em>(1Cor. 7:5) or if using NFP in order to achieve or avoid conception.<\/p>\n

In an over sexualized world, the model and intercession of Joseph and Mary are the antidote that can help couples re-discover true spiritual communion of minds and hearts and thus re-opening lines of communication. Spiritually speaking, husbands should strive to imitate Joseph and wives should strive to imitate Mary. This coincides with what Blessed Pope John Paul II says in document Guardian of the Redeemer<\/em>, \u201cWhereas Adam and Eve were the source of evil which was unleashed on the world, Joseph and Mary are the summit from which holiness spreads over all the earth.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Here then are, two virginal souls promising each other true love and fidelity that would also consist in preserving their virginity. They have acted, it might seem, in a manner absolutely opposed to the hastening of the coming of the Redeemer. Yet for this very reason and for the value of their act, they have merited that God should place in the cradle of their virginal home a child, his only Son. On their own initiative they had signed the contract, and made the promise which would prepare them for their unique, tremendous mission.\u201d (Michael Gasnier O.P.) St. Joseph, Patron and Protector of the Universal Church, shed light and intercede for all the couples around the world on March 19, 2012. (See Below)<\/p>\n

 <\/h3>\n

Recommended Books for More<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a>

The Life of Saint Joseph<\/p><\/div>
\n

<\/a>

The Life and Glories of Saint Joseph<\/p><\/div><\/p>\n

Originally published in Deacon Digest magazine and posted with permission.<\/pre>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As the Solemnity of Saint Joseph approaches let us contemplate the betrothal and love of Joseph and Mary and how it can help couples today. It is mentioned very little in scripture. Yet it was the foundation for the family into which Jesus Christ was born. Blessed Pope John Paul II says in the church… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":2724084,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[671,90],"tags":[672,456,673,657,591,81,101,143],"class_list":["post-13322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-column","category-faith-blog","tag-cathedral","tag-event","tag-feast","tag-joseph","tag-lent","tag-marriage","tag-mary","tag-saints","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/mary-and-joseph-wedding2-1280x720-1.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":95736,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/03\/the-love-of-st-joseph-and-the-betrothal-to-mary\/","url_meta":{"origin":13322,"position":0},"title":"The World’s Greatest Love","author":"Deacon Guadalupe Rodriguez","date":"March 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"As the Solemnity of Saint Joseph, Husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary approaches on March 19th let us contemplate the betrothal and love of Joseph and Mary, and how it can help couples and also single people in their search for a spouse. Pope Benedict XVI reminded us on July\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"St Mary and St Joseph","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/MaryandJosephBetrothed-119x190.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1591332,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/the-crowning-of-st-joseph\/","url_meta":{"origin":13322,"position":1},"title":"The Crowning of St. Joseph!","author":"Deacon Guadalupe Rodriguez","date":"March 12, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThus should he be honored whom the King desires to honor!\u201d The Solemnity of Saint Joseph, Husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary is on Tuesday, March 19, 2019.\u00a0 This year is also the 61st anniversary of the church approved apparitions of St. Joseph in America in which Sr. Mary Ephrem\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","block_context":{"text":"Column","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/column\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/image4-550x392.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/image4-550x392.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/image4-550x392.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8698,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2011\/12\/joseph-carpenter-saint-daddy\/","url_meta":{"origin":13322,"position":2},"title":"Joseph: Carpenter, Saint, Daddy","author":"Laura Gonzalez","date":"December 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't know if it's all the Nativity scenes that are around or that really vivid dream I had a few days ago about getting married, but St. Joseph has been on my mind a lot. I love St. Joseph like I love my own father and during the Christmas\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/HolyFamily_nativity-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2136072,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/consecration-to-st-joseph-iii-st-josephs-staff\/","url_meta":{"origin":13322,"position":3},"title":"Consecration to St. Joseph III: St. Joseph\u2019s Staff!","author":"Deacon Guadalupe Rodriguez","date":"March 16, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"As thousands prepare to consecrate themselves on March 19th (Solemnity of St. Joseph, Husband of Mary) and others prepare for the second consecration beginning March 30th and ending May 1st (Feast of St. Joseph the Worker) let us contemplate the power of our spiritual father St. Joseph and his mighty\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/image33-150x150.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":745067,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/a-traditional-st-joseph-altar-in-the-brazos-valley\/","url_meta":{"origin":13322,"position":4},"title":"A traditional St. Joseph altar in the Brazos Valley","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"March 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"He is sweating in the morning sun, easily turning a huge table top over in a cloud of wood shavings. I cough but he doesn't break his concentration, only smiles as he measures an edge with his hands, squinting, nodding to himself as he stands up. \"You still do this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/St-Joseph-the-Carpenter-of-Nazareth-361x700.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":239434,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/04\/st-joseph-2nd-greatest-saint\/","url_meta":{"origin":13322,"position":5},"title":"St. Joseph: The 2nd Greatest Saint","author":"Matthew Hartwick","date":"April 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"St. Joseph is a well-known Saint in the Catholic Church mainly because he is the Foster Father of the Jesus, Redeemer of the world, and spouse of the co-redeemer, Mary. 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