{"id":126292,"date":"2015-07-02T08:25:23","date_gmt":"2015-07-02T13:25:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=126292"},"modified":"2015-07-07T10:04:10","modified_gmt":"2015-07-07T15:04:10","slug":"if-youre-happy-and-you-know-it-its-a-sin-catholic-youth-dating-and-purity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/if-youre-happy-and-you-know-it-its-a-sin-catholic-youth-dating-and-purity\/","title":{"rendered":"“If You’re Happy and You Know It, It’s a Sin”- Catholic Youth Dating and Purity"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf you\u2019re happy and you know it, it\u2019s a sin\u201d was a statement my former coworker made as to how he thought the Catholic Church viewed sexuality and dating. \u00a0He made that statement because I had told them I was waiting for marriage and wanted to be chaste.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this is the viewpoint many people think the Catholic Church has towards sex and dating. \u00a0This deception is far from the truth – what the Catholic Church actually teaches is how to truly love to the fullest.<\/p>\n

When Catholic teens start dating the question always comes up is \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d<\/i><\/b> The answer is that there is no such thing as going too far, only too little. Before you click out let me explain.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with why we wait till marriage. We wait not because sex is bad but because it is a great gift. God wants humanity to be able to share in His creative power and to have the joy that comes with creating. In what better way shall someone experience the joy and love of creation than when he\/she shares an intimate moment with his\/her spouse.<\/p>\n

\"\"

My First Date With The Person I Am Discerning Marriage With<\/p><\/div>\n

True love is sacrifice and it means to give EVERYTHING and ALL of you, as Christ did. That is why someone would wait till marriage because they would want to make a covenant before God saying, “I will give everything I am for this person I will now call my spouse.” What sex\u2019s role is in this is that it consummates<\/em> the marriage, meaning it perfects it, by making the sacrament flesh along with spirit.\u00a0 Like when Tobias prayed, in the book of Tobit, with his wife and said, \u201cWe do not do this because of lust, but for a noble purpose.\u201d The point is if you only \u00a0have sex for pleasure with no intent to have kids or giving your life to your loved one, then you are cutting it short. Sex without the promise before God to be with this person for the rest of your life is abusing a great gift.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, premarital sex is not the way. We get that, but what can we do then?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

The problem with having your dating goals low, focused only on avoiding pre-marital sex, leaves a large dark area between a chaste relationship and sin. If you keep walking in the dark area, you eventually will take a step that leads to sin without even seeing it. \u00a0What I mean by these \u201csteps\u201d is like hugging, holding hands, kissing, and so on and so forth. If someone takes each step just to see how far they can go, eventually that one step \u00a0that leads of the edge will be crossed, and you can fall to sin.<\/p>\n

Sin can go beyond pre-marital sex. It can get to the point where one uses his\/her loved one only for pleasure. Instead of a simple expression of love this could be through kissing or even any type of physical contact.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if it\u2019s true love, and you would die for them?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

You really aren\u2019t showing true love then if you chose sin and pleasure. Love takes the opportunity\u00a0to die unto yourself and wait to make a lifelong pact. You are given the chance to die for them every time you have those feelings of wanting pleasure through dying onto yourself, saying you will wait until a covenant before God. You show true love by dying for them, not acting out those temptations.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut they are natural biological feelings? Our hormones are raging and to fight makes it unhealthy!\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I am not saying at all that these feelings are unnatural! They are from God to have this need for intimacy. What is from the devil is to use someone else for pleasure and taking away their dignity. Love is saying \u201cthis is my body given up to you\u201d while lust is saying \u201cthat is your body which I am going to take\u201d as Matt Fradd says. We should not fight those feelings of lust because the demons have nature on their side. Instead we should offer it up to God saying \u201cI have these feelings Lord, you make all things good so please give me the purest intentions\u201d<\/p>\n

I am not saying this would take the feelings away. It is to give us pure love to make our bodies temples. It is pure to admire beauty, but it is impure to desire only selfish pleasure.<\/p>\n

\"cs

Love<\/p><\/div>\n

So to recap, sex does not equal sin. Do not spend your relationship thinking that having sexual desires is wrong, it just needs to be in the right context. And going too far actually equals cutting it short by just wanting pleasure of the body instead of joy for the soul. Kissing, holding hands, and hugging are all fine to show an expression that you care for the person, but it all depends on your intentions for doing so.<\/p>\n

Do you do those things because you want to show a moderate expression of love, or because it feels good to do so? Remember to have a relationship with the person you are dating, not with their body.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the best way to stay pure? Feed the soul and satisfy the body, but feed the body and starve the soul.<\/em> \u201cFor man does not live by bread alone, but from every word that comes from the mouth of God\u201d as Christ said to the devil when he was tempted with the flesh.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell what if I take these feelings out on pornography? I mean I am not hurting anyone and if I was dating someone, I wouldn\u2019t be using their body.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

NO! Trust me when I say that does not help any situation whatsoever. To look at pornography and have that be your release thinking it doesn\u2019t hurt anyone is a very inconsiderate thought. Besides the numerous studies of how it affects your brain like a drug, it also hurts the loved one. When someone is dating someone and decides to look at pornography, he\/she is also telling Satan, \u201cYou can have my possible future spouse, who gives me love, while I have this false person, who does not even know me.\u201d<\/p>\n

We should fight for our future spouses! That is what I mean to die unto self! Express to your partner that he\/she means something so great, that you are waiting patiently for him\/her. People do have natural feelings that arouse when dating but there is more to love than just sex just how there is more to a person than just the flesh. There is also the soul that needs to be satisfied by being\u00a0pure.<\/p>\n

Lust is easy. Love is Sacrifice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf you\u2019re happy and you know it, it\u2019s a sin\u201d was a statement my former coworker made as to how he thought the Catholic Church viewed sexuality and dating. \u00a0He made that statement because I had told them I was waiting for marriage and wanted to be chaste. Unfortunately, this is the viewpoint many people… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":176,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,88,154],"tags":[486,895,193,1872],"class_list":["post-126292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","category-marriage-blog","category-youth","tag-chastity","tag-dating-and-relationships","tag-love","tag-pure","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":175085,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/11\/organized-religion-good-humanity\/","url_meta":{"origin":126292,"position":0},"title":"Is Organized Religion Good For Humanity?","author":"Matthew Hartwick","date":"November 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I recently came across a website of an organization called \u201cFreedom from Religion\u201d which had a very specific goal: to help all people purge religion from their lives so that they could be \u201cfree.\u201d This view on religion is nothing new, and it isn\u2019t surprising that a movement is currently\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pointing to Scripture","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/lightstock_167786_medium_cris_a-285x190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":306897,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/10\/weapons-scripture-tradition-review-dual-wielding\/","url_meta":{"origin":126292,"position":1},"title":"Your Weapons Are Scripture and Tradition (Review: “Dual Wielding”)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"October 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I've discovered a new kind of Catholic nerdery! I like books and learning and grammar and trivia, so I've long considered myself a nerd with personality. When I came back to the Church just over a decade ago, I found it only natural to become a Catholic nerd, too. There\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"A review of Dual Wielding at ATX Catholic.com","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/atxcatholicdualwielding-550x367.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/atxcatholicdualwielding-550x367.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/atxcatholicdualwielding-550x367.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":76849,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/01\/review-chastity-is-for-lovers\/","url_meta":{"origin":126292,"position":2},"title":"Choosing to Love, Now and Every Day (Review: “Chastity Is for Lovers”)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"January 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Whether or not you're a virgin, chastity is for you. I read a lot about chastity. You might have noticed that if you've read any of my writing here at Austin CNM. I recently re-discovered the blog of Arleen Spenceley, a chastity advocate and professional journalist, when I got word\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Chastity is about making the choice over and over, every day, to love. \u2014Arleen Spenceley","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/ArleenSpenceleyQuotation-550x341.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/ArleenSpenceleyQuotation-550x341.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/ArleenSpenceleyQuotation-550x341.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23717,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/09\/seven-big-myths-about-the-catholic-church-dr-kaczor-interview\/","url_meta":{"origin":126292,"position":3},"title":"Seven Big Myths About the Catholic Church – Dr Kaczor Interview","author":"Cristina Mares","date":"September 26, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I had the opportunity to interview Ignatius Press, author Dr. Christopher Kaczor by email\u00a0through the Maximus Group this week. 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