\u201cThe church has ZERO business in our bedroom.\u201d\u00a0<\/em> And I meant it.\u00a0 We laughed it off, I got on the pill,\u00a0got married and headily happily into the Sacrament.<\/p>\nI even had a co-worker ask me if I was \u201cthat\u201d kind of Catholic.\u00a0 You know, the kind that takes artificial birth control but keeps it hush-hush.\u00a0 Of course I was!\u00a0 Fast forward several years and an introduction to an amazing couple who practiced the approved Catholic church model for fertility, Natural Family Planning.\u00a0 At first I just thought it was wacky, non-scientific church fluff.\u00a0 And then I listened to their witness and how it strengthened their marriage.\u00a0 Admittedly, I was intrigued.<\/p>\n
You see, I\u2019m a convert.\u00a0 I question it all.\u00a0 I want to know the reasons, the why\u2019s and the what if\u2019s.\u00a0 I chose the Catholic church and yet, this teaching eluded me.\u00a0 Why did the church seem so convinced that artificial birth control was immoral?\u00a0 After all, our leaders are a bunch of celibate men.\u00a0 What were they seeing that I wasn\u2019t?\u00a0 I decided to play a little Devil\u2019s advocate and convince my husband to take the NFP class.\u00a0 It wouldn\u2019t hurt to see what all the hullaballo was about.<\/p>\n
That was ten years ago.\u00a0 Today, I am the mom of five and four of my children were conceived using NFP.\u00a0 Well, NFP and a few trips to Italy.\u00a0 I\u2019ve suffered a miscarriage and given birth to a preemie.\u00a0 Through it all, I\u2019ve learned this vitally important lesson:\u00a0 pregnancy is not a disease.\u00a0 Life is a gift.\u00a0 And, we are not the makers of that gift, we are merely the instruments.\u00a0 Through NFP, my husband and I have become equal partners in my fertility.\u00a0 Swallowing a pill that manipulates my normal cycle is not normal, it is not a \u201cright\u201d that I must have given to me by the government or any other agency.\u00a0 It is a choice I made several years ago and the one I most regret in life.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t fully grasp what I was ingesting or the long-term effects on my body or on my children.<\/p>\n
I finally came to look at it this way.\u00a0 If I really was going to give it all to God, if I was to trust Him with my most important decisions, why was I so protective over the thing in which I had no control?\u00a0 My fertility.\u00a0 It seemed hypocritical to say, \u201cI trust you God\u2026except on the fertility thing.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got that.\u201d\u00a0<\/em> My internal struggle was inherently selfish.\u00a0 I wanted to be intimate with husband whenever I wanted.\u00a0 What I came to realize is that the wait is worth it.\u00a0 Our marriage really has flourished through this teaching. My peace about life has come as a beautiful by-product of that faith.<\/p>\nPerhaps God is speaking to you this Lent about a particular church teaching.\u00a0 Maybe today<\/strong> is the day you learn more about how to strengthen your relationship with Him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The last several weeks, my husband and I have hovered over our smart phones and iPads, reading every possible article about the HHS mandate and controversy.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen tweets, read controversial FB status updates, scrolled through interesting blog posts and had engaging conversations with Catholics and non-Catholics.\u00a0 While the controversy still elevates my blood pressure,… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,88],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-12232","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-blog","7":"category-marriage-blog","8":"entry","9":"has-post-thumbnail"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":37312,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2013\/02\/popewatch2013\/","url_meta":{"origin":12232,"position":0},"title":"#popewatch2013","author":"Rita Suva","date":"February 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"We are living in a historic time in the Catholic Church. With only two other popes having resigned before Pope Benedict XVI, we\u2019re in relatively uncharted waters concerning what will be happening in the Catholic Church in the coming weeks and months. At this point in history as Catholics, we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"pope","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/pope-108x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":23717,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/09\/seven-big-myths-about-the-catholic-church-dr-kaczor-interview\/","url_meta":{"origin":12232,"position":1},"title":"Seven Big Myths About the Catholic Church – Dr Kaczor Interview","author":"Cristina Almanza","date":"September 26, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I had the opportunity to interview Ignatius Press, author Dr. Christopher Kaczor by email\u00a0through the Maximus Group this week. His new book is called The Seven Big Myths about the\u00a0Catholic Church. The book has been released today, Wednesday, September 26. The book is very well written and describes in detail\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/SevenMyths.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":124010,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/06\/3-annoying-traits-of-a-catholic-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":12232,"position":2},"title":"3 Annoying Traits of a Catholic Husband That Point You to Heaven","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"June 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night something rare happened: My husband and I found ourselves at the MOVIES. Shocking, I know. I'll pause to let you collect yourself. (Seriously, we don't go to the movies. We usually watch Netflix with the volume so low that we only catch about half of the dialogue and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":131649,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/the-hidden-sweetness-of-marriage-humanum-part-four\/","url_meta":{"origin":12232,"position":3},"title":"The Hidden Sweetness of Marriage (Review: Humanum Series, Part Four)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"July 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Marriage is hard.\" I don't quite know when it happened, but at some point, that became a movement. I've never been married, but from what I understand, it is, in fact, hard. The problem is that marriage is apparently so hard, and the \"marriage is hard\" movement so strong, that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Marriage and Love"","block_context":{"text":"Marriage and Love","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/marriage-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/iZer0WHR1uo\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":301030,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2016\/09\/review-helen-alvare-restoring-culture-from-confusion\/","url_meta":{"origin":12232,"position":4},"title":"What Does a Marriage Culture Look Like? (Review: Helen Alvar\u00e9, “Restoring Culture from Confusion”)","author":"Lindsay Wilcox","date":"September 27, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Since the decision of the Supreme Court in Obergefell v. Hodges effectively legalized civil marriage between two people of the same sex in all 50 states, many opponents of same-sex marriage have been wondering what to do. Is there anything to do? The law has clearly come down on one\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"A review of \"Restoring Culture from Confusion,\" by Helen Alvar\u00e9, at ATX Catholic","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/unsplash_woman_forest-550x365.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/unsplash_woman_forest-550x365.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/atxcatholic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/unsplash_woman_forest-550x365.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3695,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2011\/08\/everyone-has-a-right-to-homosexuality-the-catholic-church\/","url_meta":{"origin":12232,"position":5},"title":"Everyone has a Right to… : Homosexuality & the Catholic Church","author":"Rita Suva","date":"August 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cUnfortunately, in our efforts to teach the wrongness of homosexual acts, at times all that has been \u2018heard\u2019 is the sound of condemnation and rejection. What is missed, then, what is not heard, is the Church\u2019s teaching that people with a homosexual orientation, like everyone else, are created in God\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/castroville-cross.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/34"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12232"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12232\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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<\/a>Sixteen years ago, when my husband and I were preparing for marriage, we participated in a Pre Cana workshop where we heard from various couples about subjects important to marriage\u2014communication, finances, spirituality, children and sex.\u00a0 Oh my.\u00a0 I distinctly remember looking at my then-fianc\u00e9e after the workshop and saying, \u201cThe church has ZERO business in our bedroom.\u201d\u00a0<\/em> And I meant it.\u00a0 We laughed it off, I got on the pill,\u00a0got married and headily happily into the Sacrament.<\/p>\n