{"id":109778,"date":"2015-05-11T12:25:04","date_gmt":"2015-05-11T17:25:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.austincnm.com\/?p=109778"},"modified":"2015-05-11T16:14:27","modified_gmt":"2015-05-11T21:14:27","slug":"youre-not-a-bad-mom-if-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/youre-not-a-bad-mom-if-part-two\/","title":{"rendered":"You’re Not a Bad Mom If You Spend Time with People Who Are Not Your Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"

This segment of “Bad Mom” brings us to Part Two of this three\u00a0part series. (See Part One here<\/a>.) Mother’s Day was yesterday, and if your guilt about not being Super Mom 24\/7 kept you from enjoying your well-earned day, then please, read this post. Preferably with a coffee or piece of chocolate. You’ve earned a moment of peace, sans guilt.<\/p>\n

You’re NOT a bad mom if you spend time with people who are not your baby.<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. You take time for yourself.<\/p>\n

Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you let your husband watch the baby so you can clean using both hands and all of your brain. Self-care looks nothing like a sink full of suds and a stack of dishes, but everything like: a walk, a shower, some Netflix, a book, a nap… you do<\/em> remember what a nap is, right? Self-care should not be confused with selfishness. Self-care is recognizing that you – the Super Mom that you are – are still human and require rest, nutrition, exercise, etc. to keep thriving. When you choose to clean the house instead of taking care of yourself, you are declaring that the HOUSE (an object or thing) is more important and worthy of care than YOU (a person made in the image and likeness of God). In case you didn’t know, YOU are more important than things. You can neglect things, like chores. You can’t neglect people – and yes, you count as people. Take care of yourself, so you can better attend to the other temples of God you were given to care for, like your spouse and your kids.<\/p>\n

16\u00a0<\/sup>Do you not know that you are God\u2019s temple\u00a0<\/span>and that God\u2019s Spirit dwells in you? <\/span>17\u00a0<\/sup>If any one destroys God\u2019s temple, God will destroy him. For God\u2019s temple is holy, and that temple you are. – 1 Corinthians 3:16-17<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But what about that whole “denial\u00a0of self” thing? Aren’t we supposed to deny\u00a0ourselves for the sake of others? Well, yeah. But you must have a functioning self<\/em> in order to deny<\/em>\u00a0it for the sake of someone else.\u00a0Let me tell ya, you won’t have a functioning self to deny\u00a0if you don’t practice healthy self-care. You can’t give what you don’t have. You must take care of yourself, so that you have a greater capacity to then serve others. In other words: RELEARN HOW TO TAKE A NAP.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You have date night with your husband (without the baby).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    While spending time with your husband and baby is wonderful and priceless, it should not replace time you spend with just your husband. You need that time to strengthen your marital bond, because it’s the glue that holds your family together. It’s kind of (extremely) important. And just as a reminder: marriages are not self-sustaining<\/strong>\u00a0– they require constant, intentional<\/em> attention and care.<\/strong> If you are not intentionally doing something for your marriage at least once a week, then you need to re-prioritize some things. Yes,it will take effort. Yes, it may mean you neglect those dishes again. And yes, it means unplugging from your various smart devices and looking at each other face-to-face. It’s gonna be okay. When you intentionally choose to spend time with your spouse, you are telling them that they (a person) are far more important than things (dishes,\u00a0iPad’s, etc.) and that they are a priority. And aren’t they? To help yourself out, try making these questions part of your routine. Put them as a reminder on your phone, send yourself an email with them, or write them in your planner:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. What have I done (in words or actions) today to show my spouse that I love them?<\/li>\n
    2. What will I do this week to intentionally focus on my marriage?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      You are worth caring for. Your spouse is worth caring for. Make time for both, and your family will be better for it.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Happy Mother’s Day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      This segment of “Bad Mom” brings us to Part Two of this three\u00a0part series. (See Part One here.) Mother’s Day was yesterday, and if your guilt about not being Super Mom 24\/7 kept you from enjoying your well-earned day, then please, read this post. Preferably with a coffee or piece of chocolate. You’ve earned a… [Read More]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":114,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,90,89,88,91],"tags":[1688,2890,193,81,959,748,165,2787,1661],"class_list":["post-109778","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-blog","category-faith-blog","category-family","category-marriage-blog","category-young-adult","tag-coping","tag-family","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-motherhood","tag-mothers-day","tag-parenting","tag-self-care","tag-stress","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":109483,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/youre-not-a-bad-mom-if-part-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":109778,"position":0},"title":"You’re Not a “Bad Mom” If You Don’t Breastfeed","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"May 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I've only been a mom for about 4 months now, and I recognize that I'm definitely still in the newb phase of parenting. But these 4 months have felt like a crash course, full of guilty, stressed and confused feelings over what I should or shouldn't be doing. In an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"overwhelmed mother","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/stressed-mom-286x190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":26517,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2012\/11\/how-to-be-a-good-mom-and-not-lose-your-mind\/","url_meta":{"origin":109778,"position":1},"title":"5 Tips: How to Be a Good Mom and Not Lose Your Mind","author":"Lauren Gulde","date":"November 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"While I've been 'Mom' now for almost 13 years, it seems that I'm still figuring out this motherhood thing. It can be hard to balance being an individual woman with thoughts, ideas, plans and inspirations that are all my own with the... thoughts, ideas, plans, inspirations, hunger, laundry, homework and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/family\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/breakfastinbedcassatt-300x242.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":105522,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/no-room-at-the-inn-a-true-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":109778,"position":2},"title":"No Room at the Inn: an ongoing true story","author":"Shawn Rain Chapman","date":"May 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"My youngest daughter begged me to help a friend of hers whose family had no place to live. It was an emergency situation. They had tried everything. Her friend had come to her in tears- a friend who I had only ever seen smile and laugh- a kid I remembered\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Photo S.C.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/IMG_0174-e1429467233736-467x700.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":119783,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/06\/miscarriage-and-grief\/","url_meta":{"origin":109778,"position":3},"title":"Miscarriage Loss, Revisted","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"June 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"June is a beautiful month. Sure, it's ridiculously hot, tornadoes and hurricanes abound, and you get so many mosquito bites\u00a0it looks like you have chicken-pox, but it is still beautiful. People seem more carefree and plan vacations, the sunshine is lovely to behold (from inside an air-conditioned facility), and snow\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Marriage and Love"","block_context":{"text":"Marriage and Love","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/marriage-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":170583,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/11\/let-children-come\/","url_meta":{"origin":109778,"position":4},"title":"Let the Children Come to Me","author":"Adam Shaivitz","date":"November 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"[This is a guest post by Norine Shaivitz.] \"[Jesus] called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, 'Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.'\" Matthew 18:2-3 I wonder if the child Jesus chose was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Rosary","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Rosary-550x367.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Rosary-550x367.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Rosary-550x367.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":140580,"url":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/why-kids-are-pro-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":109778,"position":5},"title":"Why Kids Are Pro-Life","author":"Britt Echtenkamp","date":"August 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday afternoon, while walking through HEB with my family, a hurried mom with her two little girls rushed by us in the coffee aisle. The mom didn't look at us or say anything as she moved past us, but one of her little girls (probably 4 or 5), stopped and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/category\/acnm\/blog\/faith-blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Boy in grass.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.austincnm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/1935908_10100122122716974_1428801_n1-143x190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109778","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/114"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=109778"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109778\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=109778"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=109778"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atxcatholic.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=109778"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}