Ten years ago today, our then small family was getting ready for the baptism of our second child, our son. Days earlier, our lives had been shaken from the effects of 9/11. You see, at the time, we lived in Mannassas, a town in the Northern Virginia area, which borders Washington D.C. Our ties to the 9/11 catastrophe were very close. We were roughly 30 minutes away from the Pentagon when the Flight 77 hit.
The days following were very surreal. If you’ve ever had the misfortune to travel I-66 during rush hour, you’d know the days following 9/11 were eerie. The roads were virtually deserted. I only know this because we were looking for a townhouse to rent and absolutely had to get on the roads to search with our real estate agent. It was rare to see a car on the interstate, and scary to see the fighter jets ominously swirling over the DC/Virginia skies.
We had also planned on my mom flying in for the Baptism from Austin. She was bringing my baptism gown for J to wear for his baptism. Don’t worry, it wasn’t too girly! But she never made it. Since all flights were grounded indefinitely by that point, we were in a pinch to get a new baptism outfit together four days later.
So, the day arrived for the baptism. We were blessed to have Kreitzer family friend, Father Peffley baptize J. It was a beautiful ceremony and one Father Peffley’s first baptisms for Holy Trinity parish, as he had just been assigned to start a new parish community.
Through the past ten years, J has had a tremendous natural curiosity for the Faith, oftentimes peppering us endlessly with questions that at first seem so simple to answer.
“Mom, is Jesus a saint?”
“Dad, was Jesus a martyr?”
His love of God and Faith, while age appropriate for his age, show me how important it is for us, as parents, to keep those lines of communication open. I often think of how we push our kids to excel at sports, academics, extracurricular talents. Things that, in the end, have no real substance to them, when held to the candle of Christ. No. We need to push our kids to carve out a love for the Faith that is as rich, sincere, and passionately as we would that they do for any of those secular concerns. Not that I don’t think sports or academics or other activities are important but, rather, placed in the proper context, we start to see where our priorities should be. We should encourage our children to follow God with the same fervor that some parents push their children to excel in other, less important {in the end} activities.
I almost envy my children’s exposure to the Faith. They get to “hang” with priests, brothers, and sisters. They have opportunities to deepen their Faith that I never had available to me as a kid. And I think this is why I want my kiddos to take advantage of those precious moments. Words like “discerning,” “called,” “serving God” are very common in our house.
All of this brings me to my point. As primary educators of our children in the Faith, how can we be sure we are doing the very best that God desires of us?
What are some things we can do as parents to encourage our children?
Model the Faith. Nothing screams hypocrisy like “do as I say, not as I do.” This isn’t even a religious concept. Kids pick up on things like that and they will not see it as important if you don’t. Bottom line? Go to church, pray over your meals, make time to take care of yourself spiritually. And if that doesn’t sound bossy enough, do it with a genuine and sincere love for the Faith. Put on your own oxygen mask. Don’t just drop your kids off at CCD/Religious Education/Children’s Faith Formation and expect them to be good Catholics when they are confirmed. It won’t happen for the vast majority of kids who aren’t given a good, solid example. Even if you haven’t been good at attending Mass in the past, each day is a new opportunity to start over. Rejoice in God’s infinite mercy by being an active participant of the Faith.
Pray over meals. Pray before dinner. Pray after dinner. Pray before bedtime. Give your children blessings. The theme? Pray. And do it with the whole family. Start with one prayer. Then add a new prayer. Make copies if you need to and pass them around to everyone. Don’t feel nervous or inadequate. Many of us have come back from being lapsed. There is nothing wrong with starting at square one with your family and it takes a lot of courage and humility to admit you are learning alongside your kiddos. This has been me the better part of ten years. I am still learning! That’s the great thing about our Faith – you can always tell the kids there is over 2000+ years of history to learn and it takes more than a lifetime to know everything. See? I just gave you the perfect excuse for not knowing!
Seek out opportunities to learn the Faith – for yourself and your children. This means being plugged into your parish. If you can make time to be plugged in on Facebook, Twitter, etc., you can find a way to get in touch with your local parish’s community calendar. Sometimes it’s as easy as finding their FB fan page – or connect through the Diocesan website or FB fan page. Ask what’s going on for the kiddos, yourself, your spouse or for your marriage and for the family. The point? It’s simple to get plugged in and it’s a great way to meet people who will elevate and inspire you to learn more about the Faith…and ultimately deepen your walk with Christ. Right now there are plenty of programs geared towards Adults and helping them learn more about the Faith. I would advise looking for an Adult Faith Formation program. When you give time to God, He will bless you in ways you can’t imagine. I have seen this in my own walk and heard countless testimonies of the same result from others. Give it a try!
Communicate with your kids. No matter the age, they are HUNGRY for the Faith and you need to be spiritually fit to meet their needs. And, if you encourage that growth, they will keep you on your toes. Remember, it isn’t about having all the answers. Two or more generations have been affected by poor catechesis. We have to recognize this in order to grow from it. If your faith formation growing up was little to nothing as a kid , don’t worry! God always has a plan and His plan is amazing! Even if you don’t know much, God will bless your efforts.
Keep yourself close to the sacraments. If you are fully initiated and it’s been a while, get yourself to confession {provided there aren’t any impediments} and then back to the Lord’s table! If there are impediments, visit with your friendly church office and they will advise you on the next course of action. Don’t let your past actions keep you from returning to receiving the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Celebrate the Faith! Look to the liturgical calendar, or Universalis, for ideas on how to celebrate our Faith. You can also visit Catholic Icing or Catholic Cuisine for inspiration as well. Today is J’s baptism birthday, and as with our other kiddos, we celebrate the reason for the day. You can do this in a variety of small ways. Say a simple prayer over your child, talk about the baptism day, or talk about why baptism is so important for our souls. AND you can sing Happy Birthday while lighting their baptism candle. This is an opportunity to celebrate an important event that is so often forgotten! If you ask our Protestant brothers and sisters when they were “saved” or baptized, they wouldn’t hesitate to tell you. As Catholics, we should be able to know this information right away, too!
I hope these tips help inspire you in some way. There are many more ways to live out the Faith, but these are enough to give us a great way to jumpstart our Faith walk.